Chapter 904. Sera (4)
“Seraphim, Dominions, Thronus, and me.”
“...”
“Seraphim, Dominions, Thronus, and me...”
Seraphim, Dominions, Thronus, and me... Those were the words that had been going through my head the moment we were born here. I[1] wasn’t sure why, but I had been living while thinking of those words again and again.
I would mumble those words like a spell whenever I was in a dangerous situation. I had been doing that so many times that it had become a habit, and I was doing it again.
“Domi, can you track Sera’s location?” I asked.
“I’m not sure. He’s normally slow, so I don’t know why he’s so quick today. I can’t even detect him using my Detection Magic. I think... he's really shocked,” Domi said.
“That’s because...”
I had to hold back my words because it wasn’t enough to explain the situation.
‘He was abandoned by his mother.’
Or...
‘Does she hate him?’
The reason didn’t matter. We were born to be loved and crave for love. We realized that since they were young. We felt that the moment we met our father. Ah, we were born to be loved by this man—we were born for him.
Our first encounter was really touching, and it made me feel many emotions.
It felt so emotional that I cried without realizing it.
I could tell we were blessed, and we felt like we were truly alive.
His kind hand, which patted my head, and his warm voice made me feel overjoyed.
They were just simple movements, but they satisfied me in a way that nothing else could do. Obviously, joy wasn’t the only thing I felt.
At the time, Father’s face became serious when he looked at Sera, who was holding my hand tightly. He didn’t pat Sera’s head. He didn’t make eye contact with him, and he didn't say anything kind to him.
I recalled him doing nothing but looking down quietly at him as if he was pondering something. I wasn't sure whether Sera had noticed or not, but at the time, I got the feeling that Father was thinking about something scary.
“You were really crafty, Cherubim. Just as I expected,” Father said.
“What?” I asked.
“It’s nothing. Just rest for today. I need to think about what to do with you,” Father instructed
“...”
“Welcome to the world,” Father added.
I felt fear back then, and I would never forget the moment I felt that trace of fury in his eyes. The fear of being hated, abandoned, and not receiving any love from Father was scarier than anything else for me. Afterward, I never saw that expression on him again, but I realized something from that incident.
If he ended up abandoning us...
“There will be no reason for us to be born again,” I mumbled.
“What?” Domi asked.
“Can you imagine Father and Mother abandoning us, Domi?” I asked.
“D-Don’t say such terrible things, Cheru,” Domi criticized.
“...”
“I-I’d rather die,” Domi added.
“I’m sure Sera is thinking of the same thing,” I told Domi.
“No, he hasn’t been abandoned yet. Father has never said anything about abandoning Sera. Our mothers said that Mother Jung Ha-Yan sometimes says things she doesn’t mean because she's the type to overreact.
"Whenever that happens, It's best to avoid her until she cools off. She wasn’t acting like her usual self today. Today was probably one of those days,” Domi explained.
“You think Sera thinks the same way as you?” I asked.
“I don’t know about that... but...” Domi paused.
“How would you feel if Mother said the same thing to you?” I questioned.
“Our mothers... are pretty strict, but...” Domi trailed off.
“If,” I emphasized.
“I-I’ll probably be sad, but saying that isn’t enough to describe how I would feel. Still, Father said to bring Sera back, so I’m sure he has something in mind... It means Father is worried about Sera.” Domi pointed out.
“Father doesn’t like Sera,” I told Domi.
“What?”
“It’s not because Sera’s growth is a little slower or because he’s incompetent. I think Father just doesn’t like Sera. I don’t know the reason either... but Father had never met Sera by himself.
"Father had never patted his head and had never told him that he loved him. He had never made eye contact with him, either. When they were at the Blue Guild, Father only summoned Thro. Sera doesn’t even know what Father’s office looks like. Father had also never visited Sera during his training to see his results. They had never really talked, either...” I explained.
“...”
I had no idea why, but I'd probably never find out.
“Sera lives with Father,” Domi said.
“...”
“So why...” Domi questioned.
“I don’t know either. Mother never said anything, either. I did talk about it with Father once, but...” I paused.
“What did he say?” Domi asked.
“...”
“...”
“He told me not to cross the line,” I answered.
“And...”
“That’s it. It’s possible that Father didn’t want Sera, but Sera has been with me since he was born,” I said.
Domi’s face gradually turned serious, and it was possible that she was thinking about the fact that things weren't going swimmingly for us. The atmosphere felt heavy, and Domi’s words that she’d rather die than be hated kept echoing in my head.
Sera was probably thinking of the same thing.
I thought I knew him well, but had I ever understood his feelings? I couldn’t imagine what he was feeling right now. Just thinking about it was painful and terrifying to me, so it had to have been really painful for Sera.
I was sure he felt like his world was falling apart.
I ran faster and faster.
I wasn’t out of breath, but I was having a hard time breathing.
“Sera!” I called out.
“S-Sera!” I repeated.
“Where are you, Seraphim?!” I shouted.
“Sera! Where are you?” I yelled.
“Y-You still can’t locate him?” I asked.
“Hold on... let me try looking,” Domi replied.
“Actually, let’s split up,” I suggested.
“Okay. I’ll keep in touch,” Domi said.
It took us quite a while, but we eventually found a tiny light that stuck out like a sore thumb in the vast, dense forest. I contacted Domi quietly and approached the small flickering light.
The light was coming from a small hole in a giant tree. I walked around the tree and saw Sera hidden in the tree. He had his head down, so I couldn’t check his face, but his shaking shoulders told me his feelings.
'Should I talk to him? Has he noticed that I’m here?' Several thoughts popped into my mind, but I ended up patting Sera's head quietly.
“Are you okay, Sera?” I asked.
“...”
“Are you okay?” I repeated.
“...”
“I’m sure she didn’t mean it, so don’t be so bad, Sera,” I said.
“...”
“...”
“A-A-Are the others the same?” Sera asked.
“Yeah, our mothers did the same thing. They always said that... Mother Jung Ha-Yan seemed to really like you,” I replied.
“Really?” Sera asked.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Father is worried as well,” I told him.
“...”
“Let’s go back,” I suggested.
“...”
“Staying here is not going to change anything. Let’s talk to Father together. Apologize to Mother Jung Ha-Yan. She'll probably forgive you if you ask for forgiveness and tell her that you’ll do better from now on,” I advised.
“I-If... If I do that... you think it’ll get better?” Sera asked.
“I’ll try talking to her...” I said.
And that was when I heard Father’s voice.
- My lovely children.
I heard his voice in my head, and I immediately started trembling as if it was instinct.
- I want to say something to you, not as your father, but as your creator.
“Y-Yes, Father.”
“Yes...”
- I love you guys.
“Thank you,” I said.
“T-T-Thank you,” Sera said.
- I brought you to this land because I love all of you. I wanted all of you to experience many things, and I wanted to give you things that you couldn’t obtain in your past life. I sacrificed many things to create all of you... for your sake.
- I sacrificed many things so that all of you guys could be loved, and I took on a ton of responsibilities to do so. I’m not trying to place a burden on your shoulders, my children. I just want to express how much I love all of you...
“Ah... ahh... We would never doubt your love, Father,” I said.
“F-Father... Father...” Sera stuttered.
Sera and I started crying. It was just a misunderstanding. Father, he...
- However, I can’t love just you guys. I don’t think love has priorities, but I hope you understand that I have no choice but to love your mothers even more. They helped me become who I am today. That’s right, Thronus. It’s the same for your master. I sincerely love them.
“...”
“...”
- That’s why I have no choice but to worry. The reason I handed you over to your mothers was that I wanted you to receive their love. However, I also wanted you guys to become the reason for your mother's joy.
- Of course, some of them do seem happy because of you... but there are those who aren’t. I don’t want you guys to make your mothers unhappy. Seraphim, I’m sorry, but you may not have a choice. I may have to give up on—
“Please forgive him, Father. I-I beg you. Forgive Seraphim. I’ll receive his punishment, so please...” I begged.
“Ah... ah, ah...”
- Your love for your siblings always breaks my heart, Cherubim.
“N-No... Heuk... Father... please reconsider. I beg you, please!” I shouted.
- You always sacrificed for your siblings.
“I’ll carry his sins. I’ll carry Sera’s sins,” I said.
- I don’t want to see Cha Hee-Ra sad. The sin you have to bear isn’t Sera’s sin.
‘N-No.’
I was confused. Many thoughts popped into my head, but I couldn’t find an answer to this dilemma.
'What should I do, Mother? If Father really abandons Sera, what should I do, Mother? I...'
"Do whatever you want, Bluey."
Seraphim, Dominions, Thronus, and me...
‘Live however you want. Do whatever you want and live the life you want to live. It sounds cheesy and childish, but that is the definition of happiness. Living a childish life is what makes living fun.
"Close your eyes quietly and listen to the voice echoing in your head. Then, you’ll find the answer, Bluey. You can become the person you want to be, and you can do everything you want to do.’
Seraphim, Dominions, Thronus, and me...
‘At least, that’s how I’m living my life, you cutey Bluey. We’re the same. Even if you don’t want to do that, you will inevitably do it.’
Seraphim, Dominions, Thronus, and me...
‘Right?’
“Run, Seraphim...” I mumbled.
“W-What?” Sera questioned.
“Run away from here,” I told him.
“Uh...”
“Hurry!” I shouted.
- Making such a foolish choice...
“Please forgive me, Father,” I said.
And that was when I saw Thronus pointing his sword at my neck...
“Don’t move, Cheru. You too, Sera,” Thro warned.
“Thronus?” I asked.
“...”
“...”
“You were going to disobey Father just now, right?” Thro asked.
“...”
“Answer me, traitor,” Thro urged.
1. Cherubim’s POV ☜