41. You Don’t Know the Pain
LEO.
“Leo…”
She walked over to me, and the moment she touched my back, sending a rush of sparks through me, I
felt a wave of calmness washi over me,
The fucking bond.
“I didn‘t mean it in a bad way. You know. Hrowing up, everyone called me a freak because I was born
with the help of magic, so they found the word fitting. There were even a few people in the pack who
refused to acknowledge me because of it. Heck, some still exist.... as I got older, I stopped telling my
family because I didn‘t want to always cause them trouble...” She sighed, and I did my best to remain
calm. Flaring anger rushed through me, and I wondered if that was why she was so cheerful because
inside she was dealing with a lot.
“I know you always say I‘m the daughter of an Elite. Although my life is nowhere as harrowing as I‘m
sure yours has been, I just wanted to let you know that things aren‘t always what they seem.” She
moved in front of me, her hand running along my waist, before she placed it on my chest. “It‘s ok to be
afraid. I sometimes am... like right now. I don‘t know how this will work... with this baby... us... What will
we tell our child? Why aren‘t we together?”
She placed her hand on her stomach, and that intense urge to touch it once more tempted me, but I
didn‘t.
“We‘ll figure it out...” I said quietly. We would... I would figure it out for all of you...
I saw the vulnerability in her eyes when she had told me her situation.
Tonight had felt like a snippet of the life that maybe we could have… Her, Corrado... our unborn pup...
She‘d be the mother Corrado would love. Even if she wasn‘t what I would have expected, somehow,
she had won him over, the perfect balance of wild, cheeky and mature...
I reached up, brushing her silky locks back. Her eyes fluttered shut for a second as my fingers grazed
her skin ever so lightly.
These sparks... What were they?
So unexplainable…
She leaned into my touch, her head tilting up slightly, and that intense tension returned.
I wanted her.
“Yeah... maybe we will.” She responded quietly. We fell silent, but I didn‘t remove my hand from her
hair, my thumb caressing her jaw. 1 knew what I was afraid of, but I‘d never speak it out loud... I was
fucking afraid of us letting our guards down once more, only to be cast aside like always...
“Your nightmares.” She whispered, her heart thundering as she tried to focus.
I frowned, for a moment I thought she‘d have forgotten... I sighed, looking down into her eyes that were
watching me intently.
“After suffering under Endora, watching her torture and experiment on everyone, it was pretty normal...
When I was five.... She began to sense that I was stronger than Marcel was as a child and so, she
began experimenting on me too. But whatever she was trying to attain wasn‘t happening. Her magic
never really worked on me as it did with Marcel and the others. I was just someone she never wanted
to lose, yet someone she hated... I was only a pup who wouldn‘t be able to do any damage to her
anyway, for now. But I saw it all, the beatings, the torture, the dark magic... Her sacrificing our own
kind... her feeding the scraps of our people to our own. Creating the wendigos... it was sick. No one
would hear me... because those who had a chance to do something... well they were under her control
or too scared to rebel. I was just a fool to think that there was good in this world...” 2
I turned away, wishing I had a cigarette right now. “There is good in this world.” She replied.
“Is there? Those who I thought were our heroes... our saviours, were allowed to storm into this pack
and caused more suffering. I get the reasons, I fucking do. I know the pain when one‘s mate is hurt, but
then I realised violence is dealt with, with violence. Was there a difference between good and evil when
those views and beliefs became distorted and justifiable when it suited us?” 1
Flashes of the past crossed my mind, and I pushed them away. Delsanra Silver... That night when
Alejandro and Kiara had broken in, I had seen her struggling to free herself, and so I had secretly
unlocked the cell and cleared the escape route for her. She never knew I had helped her back then,
and I made sure no one saw me, but I had wanted to help her because she didn‘t deserve the torture
either.
Sure, when I snuck her food I‘d get punished if I was caught, but it was ok as long as I did the right
thing Right?
I didn‘t really know.
Right and wrong were blurred into one…
“The cherry on top was that it was her mate who did this. She was someone who, as a fucking child, I
tried to protect, although I was weaker at the time. I treated all those in those caverns as my people,
including her. I wanted to protect them all... I was seven and I was burying the bodies of our dead with
my bare hands. Endora would come for me, or Dad would take me to her. She‘d tie me up, and all I
remember is the excruciating pain that she inflicted on me. I would wake up bleeding after blacking out
on the floor, and I would just get up and get back to my sorry life.” I was unable to hide the pain and
bitterness from my voice. “Do you know how it felt to drag the dead body of my mother to try to bury
her? A body that I couldn‘t even recognise after her transformation into a Wendigo?” 4 She reached up
cupping my face, her heart pounding and her eyes full of anger and pain. I was unable to stop myself
from grabbing hold of her waist. My own emotions were a fucking storm, I had never told anyone that
shit. “I‘m so damn sorry that you had to go through that... You‘ve always helped. You were even
part of the battle against the Djinn a decade ago. You had a hand in saving Rayhan‘s mother.”
Don‘t go getting any fucking ideas. I did that because no child deserved to be without his or her
parents... I did it because it was the right fucking thing to do... not because of the bastard.” I replied
icily. “Rafael Rossi... I want to believe that if he knew, he wouldn‘t have let Rayhan do what he did. I did
what I did because it just felt right.”
“It shows that you have a good heart... just like Marcel said.” She murmured quietly.
No, it just showed that no matter what I did, it was never enough... Selene saw everything right? Were
our deeds worth nothing?
“Endora was a monster, who deserved so much worse than she got... You suffered too much, and what
hurts is no one knows exactly what you suffered at her hands... you told me to speak to my parents,
and I think you need to do the same... But regardless of that... Do you know what I see? I see an
incredible human before me, a true leader, one with compassion, strength, and justice. Hell, I can‘t
believe I‘m saying this. Did you put something in the whiskey?” 2
“You had a few sips. I never knew you were so easy to manipulate.” I replied mockingly. “Oh I‘m not,
but jokes aside, you are a good person Leo, and I‘m lucky that you are the father of my child. He or she
will be lucky to have you.” I fucking wasn‘t expecting her to say that.... not after the shit I had put her
through... .
Lucky... would that child be lucky?
“What Rayhan did was wrong, and he regrets it Leo... give them one more chance to prove that they
mean it. You don‘t need to be chums with them... but maybe putting it behind you will help you move
on, and look to the future.” What future?
“How many chances do I give? When someone betrays you that deeply, there‘s no way to forgive that.”
I replied, coldly glancing down into her dazzling silver eyes. 2 “There is, if you truly try.”
“Could you do it? Forgive Indigo? You even refuse to meet your half–brother, right? When he was just
an innocent part of this entire fucked up situation?”
She looked down, her eyes widening with surprise, before looking up at me defiantly.
“Are you challenging me?”
“Maybe I‘m just trying to show you reason.” I replied huskily.
“Then how about this? Let‘s make a deal. I‘ll talk to him… and you, you talk to Rayhan.” I frowned
deeply at the spark of challenge in her eyes. “Not enough. Talking to your half–brother who didn‘t do
shit isn‘t enough.” She raised her eyebrow, her nails digging into my neck. What the fuck was with this
girl and violence? 2 “Fine, I‘ll visit her grave... I will speak my mind and I will tell my parents how I feel
about Indigo...and you, you tell Marcel how hard you had it. It‘s not fair on you to keep this inside. I
think only when we are able to let it all out can we truly move on from it all.” She retorted,
glaring at me. “If you weren‘t pregnant, I‘d fucking teach you a lesson. You‘re fucking violent.” I
growled, gripping her wrists and yanking her hands away from where she had drawn blood, I pulled her
hands against my chest glaring down at her. “Don‘t change the subject Leo, are you really a scaredy
cat?” She taunted. “You were annoying me!”
“I know what you‘re fucking trying to do but forgiving isn‘t that easy.” I shot back, gripping her hips and
yanking her close.
She gasped as her chest slammed against me and she grabbed my shoulders in reflex. Her heart
pounded and my dick throbbed at the feel of her against me.
“It isn‘t... but I‘ve forgiven you for what you did to me... I‘m dealing with the fact that you‘re only being
nice to me because of this pup! I‘m trying, and all I‘m saying to you is to try as well.
I frowned as I stared down at her.
Try...
“You‘re wrong, I‘ve never treated you in a certain way because of our pup.” I shot back icily, my gaze
flickering to her lips. “Even though you‘re the daughter of an elite–” “You do know I‘m not a Westwood
by blood?” She asked, her eyes flashing with an emotion I couldn‘t read.
“Blood doesn‘t make family Azura, bonds do. To me, you are and always will be the daughter of Elijah
and Scarlett Westwood, and even then, I don‘t hate you.” 1
“Their daughter...” A soft smile crossed her lips and she seemed to relax. “Isn‘t it funny... that although
you hate them, hearing you say that you consider me their daughter really makes me happy...” “You
really are a psycho.” I murmured, “You‘re mood changes like the fucking British weather
“Yeah, I‘m a little crazy, but you don‘t seem to mind it.” She replied, her hands running up my
shoulders, and I tensed, every nerve in my body reacting to her touch. 1 “No I fucking don‘t... but don‘t
go getting so fucking cocky. We both know you fucking like me too.”
“Too?” She asked softly.
Our hearts were pounding as one and I didn‘t even realise when I wrapped my arms around her waist,
caressing her bare skin.
She bit her lip despite the defiant spark in her eyes. “I‘m not sure if being attracted to someone
ridiculously hot counts as liking or just an attraction.” She added.
I turned us, pushing her against the window as I leaned against her, my hard cock pressing against her
lower stomach.
“Fair point... Then... since it‘s only an attraction... I don‘t think there‘s any harm in giving into
that for one night...” I found myself growling huskily. 9
I wanted her... I needed her.
No, I fucking craved her.
I was expecting her to push me away or deny it, but when she ran her hand up my neck, her eyes
darkening with a sexy hunger, I knew this was about to be one heck of a night. 3
The consequences? Yeah, there were going to be many... but I wanted this. 2 “Hmm? On one
condition.” She whispered in my ear seductively; her arousal scented the air as my wolf‘s hunger only
grew stronger mixing with mine, and I was ready to lose all control. “What‘s that?” I replied huskily,
brushing my nose along her jaw, before burying my head in her neck
Fuck, did she smell like heaven and sin…
“Do we have a deal?”
I knew what she meant... The deal to handle our issues...
A taste of her body in return felt like the perfect exchange... Right now, she could ask for the fucking
world, and I‘d give it to her.. All I wanted was to strip her naked, fuck her senseless, and eat her out
until we were forced to stop. “You have a deal, and Schurke Wolf never breaks his promises.” I
whispered, running my tongue over the mark that adorned her neck, making her sigh softly. “Good to
know...”
I bit down on her neck making her gasp.
“Oh fuck!” She moaned, and I knew, deal or no deal, she was mine tonight. 8
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