Chapter 143
unedited
—Do you know what I mean?
—Mn.
—Do you really know?
—Mn.
Until the end, Qi Jing remained uncertain whether Shen understood what he was saying, or if he understood the meaning behind his words.
Shen Yan was walking ahead of him, with his expression Hidden from Qi Jing’s view. He extended his hand and gently pulled Qi Jing’s hand, taking long strides toward the hotel entrance. Qi Jing followed behind, befuddled. It was as if his heart was tethered between their interlocked hands, swaying with each step, beating faster with every sway.
When they passed through the lobby, the receptionist kept staring at them. Other hotel guests also kept looking, their gazes fixed on their intertwined hands.
But they didn’t care in the slightest.
As they walked along the hotel corridor, the wall lamps on its sides retreated one by one, creating a slightly dizzying sensation. His steps were also unsteady due to intoxication, yet his grip on Shen Yan’s hand remained strong, like a small wandering boat dancing up and down on a river, held by a taut rope. They only paused for a short moment after entering the lift. In that moment, Shen Yan’s thumb gently brushed against the back of his hand, and Qi Jing heard a muffled sound coming from deep in his chest. It felt as if his heart was attempting to leap out from his hand and straight into Shen Yan’s.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump…
His heartbeat echoed repeatedly in the enclosed space of the lift, subtle yet intense.
The grip of his fingers tightened involuntarily as he exerted all his strength to suppress this sound, to control himself. However, it was a futile effort.
Upon opening the door to their room, Shen Yan stepped in ahead. He neither turned on the lights or said anything, only suddenly letting go of Qi Jing’s hand.
For a moment, Qi Jing’s eyes had not yet adjusted to the dark yet. He couldn’t see anything at that moment, having to rely solely on his hearing. He heard Shen Yan taking two steps ahead, distancing himself from him with the faint sound of fabric rustling. Acting on instinct, Qi Jing closed the gap between them, embracing him tightly from behind—as if fearing that Shen Yan could change his mind and try to flee.
“Pft.” Shen Yan chuckled quietly.
Actually, he only intended to take off his coat to hang it on a hook next to the wardrobe. However, halfway through taking it off, his arms got restrained, rendering him unable to move.
He didn’t struggle in the slightest, simply allowing Qi Jing to hold him in his arms. His hands left the buttons of the coat and hung down slowly, no longer moving.
Perhaps because he didn’t feel any intent to leave him, Qi Jing’s breathing gradually calmed down. His arms relaxed as he hugged the other man in a deeply affectionate posture for a long time. As his eyes adapted to the dark, he raised his head to see the faint illumination from outside, tracing the outline of the man’s shoulders. It appeared like a line drawn with a white pencil, then lightly erased with an eraser. It looked half ethereal and half corporeal, but it was also enchanting in a way that moved him.
Thinking so, Qi Jing clumsily helped Shen Yan remove the half-off coat, tossing it onto the nearby armchair. Now, with just a shirt on Shen Yan’s upper body, Qi Jing buried his nose, gently rubbing it against the side of this man’s neck, separated by its collar.
Shen Yan closed eyes, silently holding Qi Jing’s hands that moved around to his front, his breathing growing slightly more urgent.
During that period, Qi Jing was occupied with his work at the TV station, so after coming back home, they had little time to get intimate apart from brief moments of affection before sleeping. However, now that they were in a hotel room in a different city, free from any burdens of work and household responsibilities, a strong desire suddenly surged in them—
“A-Yan,” Qi Jing breathed slightly, speaking in a low voice, “Turn over, I want to see your face.”
Shen Yan listened and slowly turned to face him.
At that very moment, Qi Jing leaned in, stripping him of his right to speak without uttering a word. It was somewhat wilful, even forceful, but Shen Yan silently accepted it all, including the faint taste of alcohol on Qi Jing’s lips. He accepted it all with gentleness, forgiving in response to it all.
Qi Jing ‘looked’ at Shen Yan—not with his eyes, but with his hands. He felt the shape of his face, ‘looking’ at each inch, meticulously inspecting every corner. After caressing it for a while, he felt that this wasn’t enough, so he gradually moved toward Shen Yan’s shoulders, his chest. Their touch through the fabric of thin clothes was almost scalding, and from time to time, his fingers would brush by the buttons of the shirt, causing a slight sound that, curiously enough, sparked an urge to tear them off in Qi Jing.
When he was at the point where no amount of touching could satisfy him anymore, Qi Jing took a low breath and gently pushed the man back. Shen Yan complied, taking two steps back and sitting down on the double bed.
Still panting, Qi Jing leaned forward , half-kneeling on the edge of the bed, and pressed down on Shen Yan’s shoulders, guiding him to lay down on the mattress.
He leaned down toward Shen Yan, his hand gently tracing along the hairline of his forehead, smoothing the loose strands. He gazed at the strong line of his exposed throat, framed by the slightly parted lapels of his shirt. He instinctively swallowed, alleviating the anxious thirst that overtaken him. He didn’t know if it was caused by any change in him, but from this angle, Shen Yan seemed different—he couldn’t help but think how delicious he would be if he had taken a bite.
“I think… I might be getting desperate.” Qi Jing murmured quietly.
When Shen Yan heard him say this, he stared dumbly at first, then smiled and placed his hand on Qi Jing’s temple, patiently stroking it for a moment.
His reply only came much later.
“Are you really that desperate? You haven’t even made a move yet.”
His tone when speaking was completely calm, the same he used when they discussed small nothings in their life, natural and at ease.
But his listener didn’t feel so at all.
In the darkness where they could barely make out each other’s silhouettes, he heard Qi Jing’s rapid and restrained breath. But despite being restrained, it had a kind of feverish feel to it, warm against Shen Yan’s face. However, he still hesitated and made no move.
Shen Yan remained silent, retracting his hand back from Qi Jing’s temple.
“If you really won’t do anything,” He said, “then how about I do it.”
As he spoke, he also moved, as if about to sit up and push Qi Jing down. And in that moment, the man above him suddenly pushed his shoulders back onto the bed. And Qi Jing really didn’t spare any strength—even if he tried to really resist, he wouldn’t necessarily manage to get free all that quickly.
Moreover… He never even intended to resist.
The man above breathed deeply, trapping him with both hands. Perhaps that feigned attempt to resist triggered some urgency, now evident in his heavy breaths. This reaction made Shen Yan unable to contain his laughter, but when Qi Jing leaned down to bite down on his throat, he couldn’t laugh anymore. He let out a soft grunt, joining Qi Jing in his rapid breathing as he held his head, guiding him closer to himself.
As Qi Jingpacked their luggage, he thought that things like condoms and lube could come in handy, so he packed it as well. Little did he expect that the person responsible for using them would change.
He only had theoretical knowledge about it, and he had never put it in practice before.
And only when he tried it for himself did he realise that it wasn’t as easy as he imagined. It still took a bit to adapt and hurt a bit, but with the use of lube, at least they ensured that he wouldn’t hurt Shen Yan. But when he saw Shen Yan frown when he entered, he still felt a tinge of guilt.
However, he couldn’t utter a single word; his mind was completely blank.
He only lowered his head to kiss Shen Yan’s eyes, slowing down and moving more gently, the same way this man treated himself, entering him slowly and with care—at least, for as long as he could keep his self-control.
“Ngh…”
As he breathed heavily, he couldn’t help the novel pleasure coming from below. He let out a groan, followed by a moan.
He had never thought that he would want to top before. But the practice proved that faced with his beloved person, a man’s instincts remain unchanged.
Maybe because it was his first time experiencing this, or perhaps it was the alcohol playing tricks on his body, but he felt out of control over his own body. Drifting in a haze, he felt like moving in and out felt incredibly strenuous, yet it was also extremely good, making him lose control and urging him to exert more force. And every time he did, he could feel Shen Yan’s back tense ever so slightly, further captivating him, rendering him unable to break free in the face of this pleasure.
During that entire time, Shen Yan seldom spoke. Occasionally, he would softly murmur Qi Jing’s name in a hoarse voice.
“A-Jing.”
For the first time in his life he realised how sweet his name could sound.
When he finished, he felt numbness spread through his body for a moment, and in that very moment, his mind went blank. When he came back to his senses, he was already laying on Shen Yan’s chest, panting.
The heating in the room was strong, causing a thin layer of half-dried sweat to form on his back. As the distant city light cast its glow, the sheen glided gently across his back as he breathed. The two of them lay together quietly as if they spent their entire life’s worth of energy, emanating a damp scent of sea salt—a unique reminiscent of a receding tide.
“You still haven’t…”
“It’s okay.” Perhaps because he wasn’t accustomed to it, Shen Yan himself hadn’t reached his release, simply lying still on the pillows.
Qi Jing already felt guilty before, and now his guilt grew even stronger. He couldn’t make him bear with it, so he silently slipped under the covers and, without giving that man any chance to react, took him into his mouth. Shen Yan got caught by a surprise and hastily gasped for breath. He instinctively cradled the back of Qi Jing’s head, but his fingers couldn’t muster any force. All he could do was to run his fingers through Qi Jing’s hair with a resigned smile, closing his eyes in acceptance as he let Qi Jing have his way.
He was already on his way to coming, only lacking that last push. And now Qi Jing patiently worked on providing him that last push.
After a while, Qi Jing heard this man groan, pushing him back slightly. But he didn’t retreat, continuing to give him a head until he felt Shen Yan tremble and finally release.
Qi Jing looked down and smiled faintly. Still without any word, he lightly rubbed the corner of his lips with a thumb, silently swallowing the remaining taste. Then, he got out from under the quilt and slipped back into the strong and powerful embrace of that man.
“Actually, being on top isn’t that bad.” He said with a smile that wasn’t quite a smile, lifting his eyes from beside Shen Yan’s clavicle to gauge his reaction.
Shen Yan simply smiled lightly, his voice still somewhat hoarse, “As long as you like it.”
Upon hearing him say this, Qi Jing chuckled softly, “Silly… I was just teasing you. Being on top is so exhausting—I’m quite lazy, so it’s better for you to continue doing this in the future.”
But occasionally, having it this way wouldn’t be bad, he thought to himself
Shen Yan didn’t respond. Suddenly, he turned to the side and got on top of Qi Jing, holding him down on the pillows with a long kiss. So long in fact, that Qi Jing thought like he was about to pass out from the lack of oxygen. Finally, Shen Yan let go and they both gasped for air, their gazes crossed from just inches away. He slowly traced Qi Jing’s face with his fingers, and then, he suddenly said, “Right now, I have nothing to hold back from you.”
All of the past, all of the scars, even all of myself.
“All of this, is yours.” He said softly.
Qi Jing gazed at him, unwavering, for a while. Then, with a faint smile, he nodded and masked the wet gleam in his eyes with a joke, “I know, I will take responsibility for you.”
Upon hearing this, Shen Yan was stunned at first, then he chuckled, hugging him tightly.
On the second day, Zhang Cheng had already arranged a company vehicle to pick them up for the recording early in the morning.As per the previous arrangement, except from contestants like Tan Zixian who lived locally in Beijing and could make their own way to the recording studio, the rest of the contestants had to gather in the hotel lobby before 8 o’clock, waiting for the transportation.
Everyone had the same impression that someone like Shen Yan would certainly be the type to wait there half an hour before the time came.
But when he only showed up in the lobby at 7:58, quite a lot of them whispered with surprise, “Turns out Kitty’s Papa is actually the type to cut it close”. What surprised them even more was how Don’t ask for my return date, whom they believed already left Beijing, was also present. And what’s more, he didn’t seem to come from outside, but rather appeared as if he had been staying in the same hotel and had just come downstairs just like them.
“I came here this time not only to attend the introduction event and meet the teachers, but also to meet a friend in Beijing, so I decided to stay in this hotel for the night,” Explained Don’t ask for my return date.
Upon hearing this, the crowd began whispering among themselves, a bit sceptical. But fortunately, they didn’t probe any further.
However, it was quite suspicious for him and Shen Yan to appear almost simultaneously. Moreover, he remained quietly by Shen Yan’s side the entire time, even escorting him to a seat and supporting his waist slightly as he sat down. Since Shen Yan had mentioned during the dinner the night before that he ‘was feeling unwell’, he was perhaps still feeling uncomfortable and it wasn’t surprising for him sitting down to rest. What was strange, however, was Don’t ask for my return date’s behaviour.
His thoughtfulness and consideration was beyond what could be justified by simply calling him a ‘gentleman’.
“Is he your wife? Even if he’s not feeling well, why should it be your responsibility to take care of him?” With a burst of hostility towards the two of them, Went off with a bang wasted no time in launching his attack. And his bombing range sure wasn’t small, hitting precisely on the mark.
Qi Jing was stunned, his ears suddenly growing slightly red as he instinctively met gazes with Shen Yan. Fortunately it was only slightly, and wasn’t very obvious.
Before Qi Jing could even say something, a few female contestants from the side giggled and helped him to get the way out of the situation.
“Uncle Bang, would you please hold back from speaking sometimes.”
“That’s right, what wife this, wife that. And if we’re talking about wives, then doesn’t Don’t ask for my return date look more like one?”
Hearing this, Qi Jing coughed slightly.
Shen Yan only watched him quietly, smiling but not saying anything.
It was a rare sight to see Qi Jing wake up earlier than him. Just as Shen Yan opened his eyes, Qi Jing was already and whispered a low ‘good morning’ by his ear. If that was just the start, then what followed was even more evident. He carefully supported Shen Yan when he was getting out of bed, prepared fresh clothes when he went to take a shower, adjusted the water temperature to the perfection, and even checked the sofa to see if it’s not too hard after he finished bathing…
At first, Shen Yan let him do whatever he wanted, but later on, he couldn’t help but laugh.
—You don’t have to tend to me like this. I’m okay, it doesn’t hurt.
—No way, I need to tend to you to feel at ease, otherwise I won’t be able to focus on anything else for the rest of the day. Just let me nurse you, please.
Thinking back to the conversation they had back in the room, it still made him smile to himself unwittingly.
“Ah, Return Date, you’re still here?” Zheng Chang entered the lobby at ten minutes past eight and was equally surprised to see Qi Jing.
With a smile, Qi Jing told him the same impromptu excuse he gave previously. In response, Zhang Cheng patted his shoulder with joy and said, “If you’re also staying in Beijing for today, then that’s great! Would you like to come along with us?”
Qi Jing was surprised by this proposition, but declined politely with a smile, “Thank you, but I don’t think I will join you. Yesterday I managed to visit the studio with everyone to meet Teacher Pu and Teacher Yuan, but… Since I wasn’t officially selected as a contestant and today it’s the official recording day, I believe it would be better for me not to disturb everyone by tagging along again.”
Of course, the so-called ‘disturbing’ referred to the possible reaction from the other contestant.
If he kept tagging along them, someone would inevitably think that a mere runner-up like him is getting the same treatment as the winners, getting ahead of himself.
But Zhang Cheng said with a smile, “Ah, actually for the voice acting projects like ours, we always need some ‘crowd’. We often lack voice actors for those, so if you come, you could help us with some passerby roles A, B, C, and so on.”
In the voice acting business lingo, ‘crowd’ referred to the miscellaneous voices that appeared in the background of the main cast’s lines, typically aimed at enhancing the authenticity of the post-production. Sometimes the voice actors for those didn’t even get named in the credits. Since ⟪Order to End the Heavens⟫ wasn’t really the film or television-scale production, it would be inconvenient for them to search for the background actors after completing all the production work, they strived to finish all of the recordings within one day.
If it was him who proposed it, the contestants would surely gossip about it.
And if it was Zhang Cheng’s proposal, then there was no issue at all.
“But wouldn’t it be too obvious if I, with my voice type, play those random passersby?” That was Qi Jing’s only concern. He was often cast as main or supporting characters due to his distinctive voice, which was too ear-catching to play the walk-on roles. In this regard, he was quite the opposite of Shen Yan.
“Teacher will take care of that himself.” Zhang Cheng reassured him without any worries.
The script has already been finalised, but would there be any background roles suitable for him in it?
Lucilla: We’re slowly approaching the end of the novel (just 9 chapters left!), but as much as I would want to finish the translation without any break, I’m unfortunately in the middle of exams, and the workload at my part-time job is getting hectic as well… I will be back soon, but I need the next two weeks off QAQ
Good luck for everyone during this exam season!