The Carrero Effect
~ The Holiday: Part 1 ~
Jake strolled into his apartment and threw his bag down on the couch. It had been a long trip and an
even longer week, but he suddenly felt restless at being back. Normally, getting home brought him all
kinds of joy, but this time it felt slightly empty, and he actually wished they’d stayed at that damn dance
just so he could still be with her right now. Pacing to the window and looking out across the New York
skyline he ran his hand through his hair and cracked his neck in a bid to release some of the tension
building up his spine. Flexing his arms over his head and straining the jacket holding him tight. He
needed to get out of this monkey suit they called a tux and get comfy, maybe he just needed to feel
less business-like and properly relax. Maybe he needed a drink.
He needed to stop fixating on Emma; it wasn’t healthy, and the constant stream of thoughts he had
about her was getting harder to control. She had been too alluring tonight, that dress had driven him
crazy and dancing up close no longer felt safe anymore. He’d made them leave for her sake as much
as his own. It was getting to the point he could no longer trust himself not to try kissing her again
whenever he was drunk. He wished he had a memory of Chicago, the night she said they had kissed.
He wanted to know what it felt like to kiss that sexy pouted mouth fully. Not just a second of brushed
lips but a real, deep and meaningful, kiss. He already knew that was an awful idea, she had this much
of an effect on him now, a kiss would seal his fate.
Picking up the remote from his coffee table he hit the stereo control and his iTunes playlist came to life,
and he turned it up to consume the entire apartment before he headed for his shower; peeling off the
bow tie and jacket as he walked into his room. Smiling as lyrics from a song Emma had sent him
followed through and he couldn’t help thinking of those blue eyes and quick smile and feeling a hint of
longing to have her here right now.
God, he missed her already.
The thought hit him in the stomach and he tried to ignore it. They had literally separated less than an
hour ago to come home and he was being unbelievably pathetic. He knew he was becoming too
attached to her in ways that would make working impossible; always wanting her around and it
bothered him because he could tell she didn’t feel the same way. He had tried to convince himself a
million times that it was because they were more than work colleagues, they were friends. Real friends,
maybe even best friends. He was pretty sure he told her more than anyone he knew and that counted
for something. He needed to realize what they had was already special. She was too special to him to
fuck this up with sex or one-sided emotions.
That first kiss in the hotel had thrown him, had started all of this. He didn’t fully understand all the
feelings related to it at the time but he sure as hell knew that it wasn’t as platonic as he tried to tell
himself.
Emma had been shocked, non-responsive, and scared even, and as shit as it made him feel, he
couldn’t get the feel of her mouth out of his head. For a moment, he had kissed her, and it felt like
nothing he had ever known before. His stomach had tingled, his heart rate accelerated, and he had just
become zoned-in on everything about her as though time had stood still. He had imprinted every single
detail of that night to memory. Her smell, her hair, the way she felt, that goddamn nightdress that
plagued him and how it clung to her perfect body. Underneath all her tailored suits and precise clothing
was a body made for seduction and she had him with one look.
Since then things had only got worse, every touch, every look, every smile, only served to torture him.
It was long past sex, even he could admit that to himself. Right now, just having a chance at another
night wrapped up together in a bed would be enough. He never wanted to forget what sleeping beside
her had felt like; he had done something he never did with a woman. He had wrapped her in his arms
and kept her close all night, unable to set her free even if she wanted to. He had thought that fucker
Vanquis had been the cause, but that was a lie. He would always hold her that way given the
opportunity. She brought something out of him that he couldn’t explain, a need to shield her and keep
her close.
He tried to shake her out of his head; something he was getting good at since employing her, but
tonight she wouldn’t budge. He was falling hard, and he had no way to stop it. Emma was everything
he needed, and he hadn’t even seen it coming. That perfect, angelic face and soft voice, the tiny,
perfect body that made him want to protect her always. Everything he learned about her as time went
by made him all the more fiercely protective of her. She wasn’t the girl she showed the world; she was
so much more. A vulnerable, beautiful, perfection that men had tried to destroy, men he would kill with
his bare hands given half a chance and wouldn’t regret doing it. She was strong in a quiet, gentle way
but she was also vulnerable and made him feel a hundred feet tall.
He could still smell her perfume on his shirt from dancing with her tonight and still feel the way her body
molded to his effortlessly. Looking down, he realized he still hadn’t pulled any of his clothes off despite
turning the shower on. Suddenly unwilling to be parted from the smell of her.
Get a grip, man, you need to stop this shit.
He stalked back to his bedroom from the en suite and sat down on the bed, his hand automatically
swiping his phone out before his brain connected the dots. He wanted to talk to her, despite only just
leaving her, he needed to reach out. Maybe if he did, then this feeling would shift, and he could go back
to enjoying time home. Go back to trying to accept that this was never going to happen and actually get
his life back. He hated how little control he had anymore, how much she had changed him, and how
much he had let her.
He didn’t even drink or party as much anymore. Each time he got drunk he would call her with some
lame ass excuse for drunkenly waking her at stupid o’clock. Even before he knew what was happening
to him, his drunk self had always wanted to speak to her at the most inappropriate times. He had
calmed down so much of his lifestyle, just so he could be around her more, work more, no hangovers
invading time spent around her. A part of him wanted to show her he was capable of being so much
more than the reputation that hung over him. He liked being around her way more than he liked
hanging out in a nightclub with Daniel nowadays.
Jake Carrero, playboy billionaire heart breaker was fast losing that title.
What are you doing? He texted her before sense stopped him.
He rubbed his face and once again tried to evaluate what the hell he was doing. He had tried to play off
the lack of dates tonight, but the truth was he didn’t want to see anyone else right now. Women had
stopped appealing to him the more he got to know her, and casual sex had lost its sparkle. He got more
from spending a day with her at work than hours fucking some pointless girl, and it was messing his
head up badly. He should go out, get drunk with Danny, and fuck someone. Get rid of all this tension
building up in him, he knew a lot of it was the lack of sex.
Staring at a sea of pointless clothes and wondering how I’m going to wrestle Donna’s gold card away
from those itchy fingers.
She replied quickly, a smile hitting him as soon as he saw her name on screen and that goofy sense of
elation that made him snarl at himself. He sighed and frowned at the phone. All thoughts of sex with
someone else dispersing.
Jesus, he had no handle on this at all.
Can I come stare with you?
He sent it before thinking and then cursed himself out for it. He was acting like some desperate teen
with a crush. Breaking every rule known to mankind on the etiquette of “platonic” friendships but he just
wanted to be back with her.
Jake, back off … Leave her be.
What’s the matter, Mr. Carrero? Are you lonely in your ivory tower without me?
Her face swam in his mind’s eye, that sexy little smile she gave when she was being playful. The
innocent flirting, she probably wasn’t even aware she did, in fact, he guaranteed she didn’t. To her, he
was just Jake, good old boss and friend, and everything between them was light-hearted and fun.
Every warning alarm in his brain was going off, telling him that for his own sanity he needed to just
leave well alone, but his fingers were replying without any permission from him.
Maybe.
62fb1bb41dcb31934bd49bda