“You should go to the infirmary and apologize.” I said to Xiao Qin, “After all, it’s mostly your fault that Gong CaiCai fainted in PE class.”
“Okay, I’ll go!” Xiao Qin replied immediately, “I haven’t learned any new positions from sister Ying Ran recently! It’s a good time for me to learn some more!”
I grabbed Xiao Qin by her collar and pulled her back right before she ran off.
Learning new positions? What kind of good positions can you even learn from that female school doctor? It was almost as if this terrible situation was about to be played in my brain.
Since I gave an order, Xiao Qin will apologize to Gong CaiCai. The problem is what she will say to Chen YingRan in front of Gong CaiCai.
Scenario one:
Xiao Qin initiates the conversation and greets Chen YingRan: “Sister Ying Ran! Teach me some more positions that will make Ye Lin classmate happy today!”
Chen YingRan: “Sure. Your body is pretty tough, have you tried lifting your legs straight up to your shoulders?”
Xiao Qin: “Like this?”
Chen YingRan: “Yeah! Amazing! Hold still, I’ll act as the guy and you try to get a feel of when to move your hips…”
The forced spectator, Gong CaiCai: ⊙﹏⊙b@￥##￥%#￥￥#!!
Scenario two:
Chen YingRan initiates the conversation and greets Xiao Qin: “Hey Xiao Qin. It’s been a while, have you raped your boyfriend yet?”
Gong CaiCai: ⊙﹏⊙b
Xiao Qin: “Sister Ying Ran, stop joking around ^_^. Ye Lin classmate doesn’t like girls who take the initiative.”
Chen YingRan: “Give him some drugs! Then he will push you down!”
Xiao Qin: Those kind of drugs will damage the body… Wait, what? There are ones that don’t cause damage? Where can I buy those?
Gong CaiCai: ⊙﹏⊙b……(﹏)~……X﹏X
In short, no matter what, Gong CaiCai will be corrupted. Even if I go together with Xiao Qin, I cannot do anything about Chen YingRan, it might even have an adverse effect.
After considering the situation above, I decided to not let Xiao Qin apologize, and only ordered her to not bully others anymore.
“Okay, I’ll listen to Ye Lin classmate! After all, you’re my boy~friend!”
Since we were buying lunch from the food stalls behind the school, she brazenly said that line because there was nobody who we knew around us.
Xiao Qin purposely wore a thin flowery dress. It was translucent under the rays of the afternoon sun, and you could almost see a silhouette of her leg.
“Does Ye Lin classmate like this dress?” Xiao Qin asked while giggling, “I spent an entire night yesterday choosing a dress!”
You spent an entire night, but picked a dress that can’t even cover your legs? There are a lot of men looking at you with bad intentions! Also, stop pulling on my arm! I can’t pay for the food!
Xiao Qin had been pestering me since yesterday to eat together, she said it was ‘essential etiquette between lovers’. I had no choice but to come to the street behind the school to buy some food from the street vendors.
It was at least better than eating together at the school cafeteria, that would be too conspicuous.
After eating two small egg patties, Xiao Qin said she was full.
“What? I remember the time when the class leader bought you a box of seafood fried rice. You ate the entire box and said you were still hungry. How did your appetite decrease?”
“Umm… I eat more when something is delicious…” Xiao Qin brushed back the bangs hanging in front of her forehead, “Also, I’ll be a little piggy if I eat that much in front of my boyfriend (*^__^*) hehe….”
Will you die if you stop trying to act cute? Do you still believe you have some sort of image in my mind? It is pointless pretending to be a virtuous lady in front of your childhood friend who knows everything! Just admit you are a glutton! The gluttonous, big-eater Xiao Qin, if you are not a little piggy, then who is?
I did not say anything, but I bought three fried crab cakes from a teppanyaki stall and handed it to her. She received it happily and ate one, but she did not eat the remaining two.
“Why are you acting embarrassed! I know you can finish the last two!” I said, “Don’t you eat seafood like Zhu BaJie?”
“Who are you calling Zhu BaJie!” Xiao Qin shifted her feet with a red face, “I’m trying to lose weight, lose weight! What happens if I get fatter after eating that much?”
Thus, I finished the two remaining fried crab cakes. I asked Xiao Qin multiple times if she wanted any, although she stared at the golden fried crab cakes while swallowing her saliva, she was still able to hold herself back.
How foolish! I will not like you even if you maintain your body! What’s wrong with being regular childhood friends, laughing and eating together? Why do we have to be boyfriend and girlfriend! Although I don’t really like seafood, I still purposely made a face like it was delicious to tempt her!
“Ka-cha”, I suddenly heard the snap of camera not far behind us.
I turned around vigilantly and saw Eunuch Cao standing 10 meters away from us with a face full of sweat.
“Wh- what? I clearly set it to silent!”
Eunuch Cao started to operate his cellphone in a hurry. I think he probably wants to delete the photo.
I walked over in a few steps and snatched his cellphone.
As expected, the picture on the cellphone’s LCD screen was of a girl’s butt. To be specific, it was a picture of Xiao Qin’s skirt, an area where you could see a faint outline of her butt.
“Rebellious disciple, you’re quite brave, eh?” I deleted the photo with a few presses. I also took the opportunity to reformat his memory card, then I smiled coldly at him.
“Master, spare me! I admit my wrongs!” Eunuch Cao completely disregarded the stares of the people around us and kneeled on the streets. He hugged one of my legs while sobbing and begging:
“I was confused. After I saw your wife’s beautiful figure, I wanted to leave a photo as a souvenir… No, it was to be used to pray to the gods for blessings, please forgive me, master!”
Who would even believe you! Did you want to use a picture of Xiao Qin’s butt to pray to the gods? How blasphemous!
Also, didn’t your phone get confiscated by the class leader? How did you get it back?
Eunuch Cao explained. He begged the class leader and told her that he had precious family photos on his phone. If it was handed over to the headteacher, his previous memories would be gone. The class leader thought he was pitiful and let him take back his phone.
But before giving the phone back to him, Loud Mouth played with it for a bit.
“Now I know! That must have been when it was changed!” Eunuch Cao exclaimed, “It took a lot of work to change the shutter to silent mode, how could Loud Mouth do this?! She set the shutter sound to its original settings! I…”
I clicked my tongue and Eunuch Cao immediately lowered his body and turned silent. He only raised his eyes to see any changes to my expression.
To be honest, it’s hard to be serious with someone like Eunuch Cao, he’s like a gummy candy. Also, since I already reformatted his memory, I think it was enough of a punishment. The AV films he hid have probably all been erased.
I suddenly thought that this was a great opportunity to train Xiao Qin. She had androphobia for males of similar age and she had been silent for a while now.
“Xiao Qin.” I waved my hand in front of her eyes and brought her back to reality.
“This guy was secretly taking pictures of you. What should we do with him? His fate all depends on your words!”
Eunuch Cao was kowtowing to the point it was like a pounding mortar, “Please spare me! I won’t do it again! May you and your husband live a long and happy life together and have many grandchildren~~~~”
Xiao Qin originally had a cautious stance. She had her head lowered and hid her eyes behind her bangs, she also had a defensive posture. But after seeing the comical Eunuch Cao and being referred to as my wife, she started to laugh.
She waved to me without speaking, it signified that we did not have to bother with Eunuch Cao anymore. It seems it used too much of her energy after she locked eyes with Eunuch Cao twice. Thus, she turned around and let me handle the rest.
“Hmph, count yourself lucky!” I tossed the cellphone to Eunuch Cao and he caught it in a fluster before it almost hit the ground.
Great! If things go according to plan, and I could slowly cure Xiao Qin’s androphobia by letting her get used to guys her age, then she will not be entangled with me anymore! By that time, the world will be her oyster and she could have her pick!
After I made a realization, I waved my hands telling Eunuch Cao to leave.
Xiao Qin returned to her normal state 5 minutes after Eunuch Cao left.
“Phew~~ How scary!” Xiao Qin said with a lingering fear, “Why do all males other than Ye Lin classmate look so ugly!”
What kind of beauty standards do you have! Not all males are ugly just because Eunuch Cao is ugly! For example, Shen ShaoYi is recognized to be handsome by all the female students of 28 Middle! I was planning to push you to someone else after you cured your androphobia! But it turns out that there is also something wrong with your eyes? Do I look handsome in your eyes even though I have the face of a homicidal maniac?!
“Also, why are they as perverted as Ye Lin classmate even though they are so ugly! I, I won’t wear a thin dress like this anymore!”
Eh? Did you finally realize you were exposing yourself? Not only do you have to worry about the thickness of your skirt, you should pay attention to when you go up and down stairs or when you stand and sit! There are still many areas where you have to learn to act like a girl!
“But, although he was ugly, I liked what he said.”
You already mentioned Eunuch Cao was ugly within three minutes. Although he is indeed ugly, is there a need to voice it out?
“Since he called you master, then I would, of course, be his master’s wife! He also wished for us to live a long and happy life together! Yeah~ Although he’s ugly, he must be a good person!”
How did you judge he was a good person that easily? What weird criteria do you use in order to determine if someone is a good person? Are they a good person as long as they approve our relationship, regardless of their moral conduct?
“Although I can’t speak to this good person, I might help him out a bit if anyone causes him a lot of trouble!”
Xiao Qin solemnly vowed while gripping her two small fists.
Help him a bit? How would you help him ‘a bit’? Like the time you bullied me ‘a bit’ when you were the Little Tyrant?
Eunuch Cao picked up such an outrageous protective talisman for free! He does not have to be afraid of the hoodlums who hang out outside the school gates anymore! Now other than me, even Xiao Qin is protecting you!
I cannot believe someone so immoral and wretched gained such power simply by saying ‘master’ and ‘master’s wife’. Why do you get such good luck! Do you think you are the main protagonist!?