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Do you think an ordinary person can purchase a phone as large and as powerful as this? Do you think they can even hold it?
I was not the least bit worried about Xiao Qin using the same phone as me. It was impossible for her to even hold the phone with one hand like me with her small hands.
She asked me for my phone number and I had no reason not to tell her. Since it would not end up being a couples phone even if she went to buy a phone right now.
But I cannot make it easy for her. I cannot let her believe that she should expect a response every time she asks me for something.
Thus, I readied my pen and paper and said to Xiao Qin with a look of expectation:
“Bark like a dog! I’ll tell you if you bark like a dog!”
“Woof! Woof!”
A young girl imitated a dog without the slightest bit of hesitation. She even curled up one of her hands and mimicked a dog using its paws to claw at dirt.
How embarrassing! You would even give up your dignity as a human for a phone number? Even the neighbor’s dog, Da Huang, has more integrity than you! It does not eat bones given to him by strangers!
But despite my disdain, I always keep my word, and I will give her my phone number.
When Xiao Qin received the phone number I wrote down for her, she was in high spirits as if she won the lottery.
“I’ll keep this as a family heirloom…”
I suddenly lunged over to take it back, but Xiao Qin deftly evaded.
“I’ve already barked like a dog!” Xiao Qin hid the number behind her back, and her eyes were filled with a look as if she was wronged.
Right at this time, a customer sent me a message. I concentrated on answering the other party’s questions, and I did not continue playing with Xiao Qin.
It was a customer who was interested in our condoms. He had an unfamiliar ID, so it might have been the first time he was visiting our store.
Although condoms do not cost a lot, giving new customers a good impression is the first step to getting a repeat customer.
Thus I met the every need of this man who seemed like a virgin. He asked me repeatedly:
“What kind of condoms would easily make my girlfriend climax?”
I thought to myself that the crucial aspect is not the condom, but what’s inside. However, in business negotiations, exaggerating the effectiveness of your products is one’s job.
“I would recommend studded or ribbed condoms, they will increase your performance in bed~”
Xiao Qin was curious when she saw me typing speedily on my phone.
“Ye Lin classmate, what are you playing? Can you show me?”
“No!”
Do you want to see the conversation of me discussing condoms with a customer? Even though you probably already know what our family does, it would still be too shameful when you see the dirty words I say to a customer!
“Don’t look! I… I’m doing official business! Girls would get a stye if they see this!”
“Why would your official business cause girls to get a stye?”
Xiao Qin slightly tilted her head with a puzzled expression.
The suspected virgin sent me another message: “I heard that if you put three condoms over your dick, it will help you last longer. Is this true?”
I avoided Xiao Qin’s gaze while I replied: “It’s even more effective if you use five condoms~”
“Do you have pineapple flavored condoms? My girlfriend says she likes pineapple flavored….”
I sweated: “I’m sorry, we don’t have pineapple flavored ones, would peach work? You could convince your girlfriend to not be picky…”
Xiao Qin suddenly said to me:
“I’m not picky! I would eat anything Ye Lin classmate gives me, even if it’s bitter melon!”
You would eat anything! Even the perverted Japanese has not invented bitter melon flavored condoms! You always give me trouble, if I can’t sell any goods and have nothing to eat, would I have to eat the sea cucumbers and bamboo shoots you give me every day? —— And your sea cucumbers and bamboo shoots even came with a listening device! Now that the battery is almost used up, you can use this chance to take it back and change the battery.
I stared at her with wide eyes and threatened her to not look at my screen, otherwise I would remove her from the position of my girlfriend.
Xiao Qin returned back to writing her English essay. We would usually write homework from other classes in politics class.
This virgin was exceptionally troublesome. I chatted with him until class ended, and in the end, he still did not make a decision to purchase anything.
The next class was computer class and many students headed to the computer labs right away in order to get a good spot. I was not sure if Xiao Qin was among them.
This customer was too annoying. He asked half an hour of questions for goods that cost less than ¥20. No wonder my dad always plays AV films while helping customers.
I suddenly heard someone walking behind me.
Can’t they see my text messages from that position?
I subconsciously thought it was Xiao Qin and I said to her in a bad mood:
“Who told you to be so unruly! Do you still want to be my girlfriend!”
The person behind me was stumped and she choked on her words and blushed.
I took a glance with my peripheral vision: Isn’t this the fucking class leader! Why did you not go to the computer lab to get a spot, what are you doing here? You think it’s still not messy enough here?
“No… don’t take it seriously. I thought you were someone else….” I explained in a hurry.
The class leader was not that upset, but her face darkened after she saw the messages on my screen.
The last message from the suspected virgin read:
“My girlfriend has not yet agreed to get a room with me, do you have any good ideas?”
Why are you asking me? Do you think I am a fucking love counselor?
I replied with anger in my stomach:
“Sweet talk her or if that doesn’t work, force her! ~”
I was willing to throw away my integrity in order to sell a couple of condoms.
It just so happens the class leader saw those two sentences on my screen. Not good. If it was taken out of context, you will definitely think that I was teaching others to pick up girls, and there may even be legal issues involved!
The class leader curled her eyebrows and headed to the computer lab without another word.
In the end, this customer did not buy anything. He only said that he would come again when his girlfriend agrees. He would like me to sell him some Viagra, but he disconnected in a hurry.
The classroom was already empty. I picked up my computer textbook and walked slowly towards the computer lab.
I intend to find a spot in the last row as usual, so I can continue to operate the online store without interruption. But our computer labs have a certain shielding effect on mobile phones. The network signal is terrible and I dejectedly shoved the phone back into my pocket.
By the way, Ai ShuQiao has not taken any actions that I can see other than cancelling the black card. Is it because America is too far away? Or is it that she has already started to act and I have not realized it yet?
I always like to play around with something in my hands when I think about things. Sometimes I play with the cap of a pen, sometimes I throw an eraser. I didn’t have anything to play with in the computer lab, then I saw the small plastic cover in the upper right corner of the computer desk.
Anyone who has used a computer desk before knows that the small plastic cover can be removed, and it has a rubber ring that allows the cable to pass through. The shape is a bit like a chrysanthemum.
I was not sure what was wrong with my head. I actually held the small plastic cover in one hand and poked the hole with the index finger of my other hand. At the same time, I absentmindedly stared at the ceiling.
The class leader walked beside me and cleared her throat to get my attention, but I was immersed in my thoughts and did not react at all.
The class leader could not hold back and finally asked: “Ye Lin, do you think that’s fun?”
I stared blankly with my finger still in the rubber hole.
“It’s alright?” I responded inattentively.
The class leader took the rubber ring off my finger and shoved it into her skirt pocket as if she had saved an innocent girl who was being raped by me.
Because there were several malfunctioning machines in the computer lab, I had to sit between Eunuch Cao and the class leader. Loud Mouth, Little Smart, and Xiao Qin sat in front of us.
The computer class teacher gave us another assignment involving PPT slides. The main topic was daily precautions for bird flu prevention.
The class leader worked on the assignment with a serious face. The pressure I could feel from from her was enough that people would be afraid of speaking to her.
I was not in the mood to create a PPT, so I looked to my left to see how Eunuch Cao made his presentation.
Eunuch Cao wrote this sentence in an eye-catching red: “You will not get the bird flu as long as you don’t have sexual relations with chickens or ducks.”
That’s right. It does not matter how bad mines is, with Eunuch Cao here as the scapegoat.
I randomly created a bunch of pages. The content ranged from how birds evolved from dinosaurs to the historical reasons why Lu Zhi Shen called Po Pi a “bird man (TN: fucker)”.
I used a picture of a penguin on the last page of the PPT. This is one of the few bird pictures that can be found on the computer.
I returned to the first page of the PPT and I felt like I should add a picture, but I did not know what to choose. Due to a lack of oxygen in my brain from operating the online store, I actually forgot the word “first page”.
So I unfortunately asked Eunuch Cao: “If the last page is called the last page. What is the number one page called?”
Eunuch Cao raised his head: ” —— The first page?” (TN: First page sounds the same as first night/sex)
I didn’t realize Eunuch Cao was joking. I then turned to look at the class leader’s screen and found a picture of a swan leaping out of the water under the heading “Avian flu prevention and control measures”. Although it did not appear to be sick, it was definitely a better fit than my penguin.
In order to break the awkwardness, I complimented the class leader: “Your first page is excellent!”