Chapter 849: Mercy
It was currently the border between summer and fall, but I don’t think the class leader meant anything by asking me if it was cold or hot. I’ve already gotten used to the weather here regardless if it was cold or hot.
“Class leader, are you cold?”
I looked at the class leader who was wearing the same school uniform as everyone else.
“I’m not cold.” That’s what the class leader replied, but she hard her arms wrapped around herself as if she was really afraid of the cold.
A gust of wind blew in a couple of leaves through the window. It caused the class leader’s black hair to dance and for an instant it reminded you of a cold black flame.
At this moment, the head teacher came down the hall with a few disciplinary lackeys to do inspections. The class leader was worried we were too close and was violating the school rules, so she quickly walked away.
The only thing left in front of me was a girl’s fragrance and a falling leaf.
I didn’t really have any reason to do it, but I quickly grabbed the leaf and held it in my hand. My stance looked like I was about to get into a fight and it scared the head teacher.
“Why are you grabbing a leaf in such an exaggerated manner?” The head teacher was only brave enough to express their discontent after taking a distance from me.
Leaving the head teacher aside, the class leader didn’t forget her own responsibilities.
She’s the type who would fight to the end.
The second last class of the day was a self-study session. Eunuch Cao had nothing to do and sent me a dirty joke, but he accidentally sent it to Xiao Qin.
Xiao Qin looked at it and read it aloud:
“Ah Mei went to an adult goods store, the boss recommended her a frog that could whistle…”
“Hahaha, frogs only croak, where would you find a frog that could whistle?”
Xiao Qin laughed to herself after reading halfway through the joke.
Stop laughing, by whistling, they are referring to the same thing as blowing your whistle… didn’t you see that Ah Mei went to an adult goods store?
“Look, that’s one of the negatives of having an outdated phone.” I said to Xiao Qin, “If it was a new phone, you could download an app and block all of those questionable people from our class.”
Xiao Qin’s phone was usually set to vibrate mode, but her laughter attracted everyone’s attention.
“Xiao Qin, you shouldn’t play with your phone even if it’s a self-study session.”
The class leader didn’t stand up, but only looked towards us.
“It’s… it’s not my fault, it was Eunuch Cao who sent me a dirty joke.”
Xiao Qin protested even though she had a few boys around her. She had finished reading the text and although she didn’t understand some words, she knew it was a dirty message.
“What?” Niu ShiLi, who sat to the right of Xiao Qin, was both shocked and angry, “I can’t believe Eunuch Cao sent dirty jokes to girls, unbelievable.”
“Death penalty.” Loud Mouth suggested.
“Chop him in half.” Little Smart’s suggestion was even more concrete.
“Hey, I didn’t send it to a girl.” Eunuch Cao took out his phone to look through the history before he exclaimed.
“Master, I didn’t do it on purpose! I saw a good joke and wanted to share it with you, but I clicked on the wrong contact. Please forgive me master!”
My contact name was set to Master in Eunuch Cao’s phone and Xiao Qin’s was Master’s wife. It’s possible he misclicked since the names were similar and it wasn’t a big deal.
Since we didn’t have a teacher for the self-study session, we had a relaxed environment. Now, everyone used Eunuch Cao as an excuse to begin talking to each other.
“Sending dirty jokes is so tacky and outdated, can’t believe Eunuch Cao is still doing it.”
“Don’t put all the blame on Eunuch Cao, didn’t you hear him say that he wanted to send it to Master Ye Lin? I’m guessing Ye Lin loves to collect dirty jokes and told his disciple to send him all the new ones he finds…”
“Nonsense.” I knocked my desk and retorted, “I don’t have a hobby of collecting dirty jokes. Also, Eunuch Cao’s frog dirty joke isn’t even knew, I already saw it a couple of years ago.”
The whole classroom turned silent before someone whispered:
“And he still says he doesn’t have a hobby of collecting dirty jokes. Ye Lin has seen the joke that Eunuch Cao thinks is new a couple years ago… which means Ye Lin is a few years ahead of Eunuch Cao in that aspect.”
“I think Ye Lin was still in elementary school a few years ago, so that means his aspiration was to collect dirty jokes when he was only in elementary school…”
Whose aspiration is to collect dirty jokes? I was exaggerating when I said I saw the frog joke. It didn’t literally mean I was reading dirty jokes when I was only in elementary school.
We haven’t even solved the issue of Eunuch Cao sending Xiao Qin a dirty joke even after class ended, but my classmates all stopped caring about it since it wasn’t really that serious.
Only the class leader didn’t overlook it and made Eunuch Cao write self-reflection essay and have his parents sign it before giving it to teacher Yu.
“Class leader, please mercifully forgive me.” Eunuch Cao pleaded, “I didn’t do it on purpose, my hands slipped.”
“Hmph.” Loud Mouth raised her chubby right hand, “If you’re willing to take a merciful slap from me, I’ll forgive you on behalf of the class leader.”
Winnie also ran over to join in on the fun, “If you’re willing to take a merciful kick from me, I’ll also forgive you on behalf of the class leader.”
The class leader was probably in a bit of a bad mood as well, she looked at Loud Mouth and Winnie, then clasped her hands in front of her chest and looked down at Eunuch Cao and said:
“If you don’t want to write a self-reflection, then I’ll mercifully forgive you as long as you can withstand the merciful slap and merciful kick.”
Her words made Loud Mouth and Winnie laugh.
“That’s outrageous.” Eunuch Cao said with a sad face, “Is crippling me still considered mercy? Hurry up and apologize to the Goddess of Mercy!”
“Hmph, as expected of Ye Lin’s disciple.” Winnie praised him and stuck up her thumb, “You’re ability to talk back has improved.”
“Is it that hard to write a self-reflection?” The class leader asked.
“It’s not that hard, I could just search it up online…” Eunuch Cao muttered, “The main problem is I can’t get a parent’s signature. My dad went to Dongguan a few days ago, but for some reason got taken to the police station, it must be political persecution…”
Persecution my ass! Director Cao definitely got caught by one of those prostitution sweeps and still hasn’t been released. I was wondering why Director Cao stopped talking to me about the next series about Jin Lin Young Thug’s love with his dog (sponsored by those zealous dog lovers), so it was because he was arrested.
“Class leader, please don’t force me to write a self-reflection. If you let me off, I’ll give you something good…”
Eunuch Cao said and reached into his pocket.
Huh, openly trying to bribe the class leader? She’s even known for never taking a bribe and is strictly impartial. Eunuch Cao, is there something wrong with your brain? I don’t remember accepting such a stupid disciple!
“What is it?” Loud Mouth and Winnie were very curious about what Eunuch Cao was going to take out, and the two of them said in unison, “If it’s a delicious snack, I’ll forgive you on behalf of the class leader…”
Halfway through their sentence, the two of them looked at each other and sparks flew when their eyes met.
“The snacks are mine, he can’t fit much inside that pocket, so there’s only enough for one person and it has to be for me.”
Winnie yelled at Loud Mouth.
The two of them caught each others palms and began to argue.
“It should be given to me, you don’t have the right to represent the class leader.”
“You’re the one who doesn’t have the right to represent the class leader, I’m at least a PE committee member.”
“Hmph, so what if you’re the PE committee member. I’m our class’ food committee member. Even if I have to put my dignity as a food committee member on the line, I have to get those snacks.”
“Our class doesn’t have a food committee member, you’re at most the obese committee member.”
“I’m both the obese committee member and food committee member.” Loud Mouth never felt inferior because of her weight, “These two positions are closely tied together, understand?”
Thus, these two foodies had a super humiliating fighter over the (imaginary) unequal division of spoils.
It’s a good thing that Zhuang Ni didn’t come to class today, otherwise she would have hated the world even more when she saw her kindergarten friend, Loud Mouth, already calling herself the “obese committee member” in order to get food.
“I wonder if it’s a sweet.” Xiao Qin also put her finger to her lips with interest.
As a result, what Eunuch Cao pulled out from his pocket was nothing more than his cell phone, much to the girls’ disappointment.
“Death penalty.” In Loud Mouth’s eyes, Eunuch Cao’s life was worth about a bag of snacks.
“Drawn and quartered.” Winnie, whose hopes were crushed, also gave a brutal disposition.
“Death by…” the class leader, who seemed a bit off today, almost said the same thing as Loud Mouth and Winnie, then she quickly said:
“Why did you take out your phone?”
“Class leader, this humble servant has a gift to offer, I hope you kindly accept.” Eunuch Cao half-kneeled and handed the phone over. The brightly lit screen of the phone was running an application.
The class leader was originally not in a good mood, but her eyes actually lit up when she saw the app.