TN: My bad for delay, enjoy!
Although I was already mentally prepared since I read the online reviews, after I watched it with my own eyes, I realized that the film ‘Tang Bo Hu Da Zhan Chu Liu Xiang” has no lower limit.
Tang BoHu and Chu LiuXiang are both talented and handsome, right? They should be surrounded by beautiful girls, right? I originally thought the reason why this movie was bad was that someone was NTRed, but I was wrong! I was way off! I was too childish!
This film does not even have a female protagonist! It is basically a damn homo film! There was even a scene where Tang BoHu accidentally locks lips with Chu LiuXiang! What a pity that the fujoshi, Little Smart, was not able to come see the movie!
Shu Zhe had vehement dislike towards that scene: “Hey sis, what kind of shit film did you bring me to see! A man kissing a man, how disgusting!”
The class leader also felt it was a bit inappropriate, but we have already watched half of the film. Regardless if it was out of courtesy or respect towards Auntie Ren, we had no intention of leaving midway.
Shu Zhe closed his phone and stuffed it into his pant pockets. He stood up from his seat, “I’m going to the washroom —— this movie is too nonsensical!”
“Master, I also need to pee. Please excuse me!”
Eunuch Cao informed me and followed Shu Zhe into the theater’s hall with a vulgar expression. He was even shameless enough to follow very closely behind him. The most suspicious part is he brought the very large bag along with him.
Damn! What are you going to do? What are you planning to do to Shu Zhe in the men’s washroom? If it was only wigs, the bag would not be that heavy. Is it possible that he brought along a whole set of S&M tools, and he’s planning on bursting his chrysanthemum after he chains him in a stall?
To be honest, I was not willing to help Shu Zhe. Speaking of bursting chrysanthemums, didn’t he already experience it once with the school doctor? What’s the harm in it happening a second time?
But suddenly, Xiao Qin said to me: “I, I also need to go to the washroom, can you come with me~?”
“Go by yourself! Or ask the class leader! Don’t you guys always go together at school?”
“School is school, outside is outside!”
“What’s the difference! Besides, I don’t need to use the washroom, so go by yourself!”
“Why! One of the responsibilities of the boyfriend is to wait for their girlfriend outside of the washroom! It’s an important etiquette between lovers! I have been awaiting this day for a long time! Come with me pleaaaase~~~~”
Why are there so many rules for going to the washroom? Also, didn’t I already wait for you outside the washroom the first time you had a period! I was also seen by a lot of female students (including the class leader), how embarrassing!
When I did not agree, Xiao Qin actually threatened me: “If you won’t come with me… Then, I won’t go either! I’ll wait till you want to go, so we can go together!”
Then, she gripped her hands into fists, tightly clamped her legs together, straightened her back, and made a persevering expression like she was fighting a prolonged battle.
Prolonged battle my ass! Are you trying to forcibly hold it in? You just drank a whole bottle of orange juice! We learned in health class that females have a shorter ureter than males. So, females are inherently weak at holding in their urine —— are you not afraid of urinary incontinence! Do you still believe you are the protagonist of a shoujo manga! Which female protagonist does something as embarrassing as wetting themselves in public!
Looking at the way Xiao Qin bit her teeth, I could not help but be scared. If you could not hold back, everyone would see a show many times more interesting than the movie on the screen! There may be unscrupulous people who would investigate your identity. At night, they would go home and post online: “Because the movie was so bad, the daughter of the martial arts director pissed herself on the spot due to her anger!”
In order to not be an eyewitness to this terrifying news, I had no other choice but to take Xiao Qin towards the washroom.
Before we left, I asked the class leader: “Are you going to the washroom?”
Actually, this film really makes you want to urinate. Especially the fight in the river, the sound of the stream really makes me want to pee.
The class leader indicated that she did not need to go, and that she would stay behind to watch our stuff.
In fact, there was nothing to lose, other than a few buckets of popcorn and a few cups of unfinished drinks.
Unlike me, Xiao Qin seemed to value these foods. She told the class leader before we left: “Don’t let anyone take our popcorn! If too many people come to take it, then I would rather you eat it in one mouthful than hand it over!”
The class leader waved her hand with a bitter smile. It meant please be at ease, no one will come to take our popcorn.
Seeing the self-assured class leader, Xiao Qin rolled her eyes and said: “Oh, you can’t eat it all yourself then lie and say someone else took it!”
Enough! How do you see the class leader?! Only a glutton like you would eat all the food yourself!
The class leader awkwardly promised: “I won’t eat it all. If I finish it, I’ll buy you more, okay?”
“Okay!” Xiao Qin followed me proudly into the hall after she received a guarantee.
I suspect that Xiao Qin was pretending that she had to urgently use the washroom, otherwise, she would not have the free time to joke around with the class leader.
How cunning! If I did not also want to use the washroom, I definitely would not have played along!
On the other hand, five people came to the movies, but four of us went to the washroom, so the class leader could only sit alone to watch our stuff. She would occasionally reach for some popcorn, but instead of putting it in her mouth, she would thoughtfully stare at the screen for a while.
It would have been good if Loud Mouth and Little Smart came. Those jerks, if they came, the class leader would not be lonely.
I suddenly realized that the class leader was an existence who was admired in our class, but her friends were not. Even if they had a close relationship, it was more like the class leader taking care of others (like Gong CaiCai). It did not fit with my standard of friends of an equal-standing.
Even though people depend on her, she has no one to depend on. That means the only solution was to become strong.
What a tiring style of living! No wonder Shu Zhe does not view his sister as a role model!
But what can you do? Her parents are not near her side, and she has a brother that makes her worry. Even the teacher in charge of our class needs Shu Sha to control the students. Then, there are students like me and Eunuch Cao who constantly cause her trouble.
I had a bit of a guilty conscience. If only I could be of help.
Due to the fact that the movie was boring and caused the urge to pee, many female audience members chose to use the washroom at this time. Xiao Qin stuck out her tongue and lined up behind them while I headed towards the male washroom.
“Get lost! I won’t do it no matter how much money you give me! You pervert!”
Shu Zhe rushed out of the washroom in a fit of anger, and Eunuch Cao came following behind trying to curry his favor.
“Don’t be mad! It won’t take long! You’re the only one who can do this!”
“Stop annoying me! Or else I’ll tell brother Ye Lin to give you a beating! How does my sister have a classmate as perverted as you!”
“Don’t be like that! Everyone has their own likes and dislikes! If you help me out, I definitely won’t mistreat you!”
Fuck, what are you saying? Could it be that because of your lack of strength, you gave up on your rape plan, and instead you offered him money? Don’t tell me you want to pay Shu Zhe for him to wear a wig, dress up like his sister, and meet your every demand? Isn’t this a service called ‘compensated dating’ that the Japs came up with? Do you want a male to do compensated dating with you!
Shu Zhe had his head lowered and walked in a hurry. He accidentally bumped into me, but he was the one who was sent flying to the side.
He recognized it was me and showed an ashamed face. He did not want me to hit Eunuch Cao, instead, he went up to the second floor without looking back. It seems the theater also has washrooms on the second floor —— does he not even want to use the same washroom as Eunuch Cao?
I blocked the way of Eunuch Cao and pushed him back into the washroom.
It was completely different than the overcrowded female washroom. Other than a staff member, the washroom was actually empty. After the staff left, only Eunuch Cao and I remained.
“What’s your goal?” I asked, “Don’t tell me you want Shu Zhe to dress like his sister so you can burst his chrysanthemum!”
Eunuch Cao, who was tired from carrying the large bag said with a smile: “How would that be possible? Although I thought about it, boys and girls still have different body structures in the end. If it was just to satisfy myself and he dressed up like the class leader, rather than bursting chrysanthemums, I prefer the mouth…”
Mouth… Mouth!? You are too big of a failure! Please don’t make me imagine that scenario! Since Shu Zhe looks like the class leader, does that mean as long as he does not take off his clothes, you can treat him as the real class leader?
—— Is that why you are using Shu Zhe as a substitute? Because he would do things the class leader cannot, so it does not matter if he is a boy or girl!
When he saw my angry look, Eunuch Cao quickly apologized. He said that although he did think about it, he was discussing an entirely different matter with Shu Zhe. In order to prove himself, he opened the zipper of his bag and showed me it was a bleached wig with short light brown hair, completely different than the class leader’s long black hair.
“What does this mean?” I asked, “Do you want to use Shu Zhe as a model and see how the class leader looks with dyed short hair?”