Chapter 365 – Fluids On Her Face
“There once was a hunter who went hunting in a forest, then he met a bear…”
This dirty joke again? Aren’t you getting tired of telling the same joke? The class leader already said good kids shouldn’t tell these jokes.
Xiao Qin continued to speak and ignored me: “The hunter shot at the bear, but the bear was agile and nimbly avoided it.”
Loud Mouth looked a bit awkward as it seems she’s heard the joke before.
“Xiao Qin, tell a different one, don’t say this one in front of Ye Lin or it would make us girls seem perverted…”
Little Smart, on the other hand, was full of interest, “I like this story, the hunter must have fell in love with the bear…”
Get lost you damn fujoshi! Are you treating this as a story instead of a joke? In your eyes, the bear must be the attacker and the hunter must be the receiver, right? It must be a sad and inspriign story of love between a bear and a person. I guess human relationships aren’t enough for you any more and you have to extend your BL love onto animals.
When Xiao Qin told the part where the bear avoided the gun shot, Xiong YaoYue had already finished eating and was drinking the bottle of yogurt, but then she suddenly burst out laughing and spit everything out. What’s even so funny?
It’s fine if you laugh, but you sprayed yogurt everywhere, it’s even running out of your nose! Gong CaiCai who was sitting unprepared next to you got covered in white and sticky yogurt! It’s now all over her hair, eyebrows, and top like she got bukakked!
Not only did Xiong YaoYue not apologize, she even pointed at Gong CaiCai and laughed and made sure to take some photos to keeps as a souvenir.
“Hahaha, look, doesn’t she look like an actor in a Japanese AV?”
She instantly admitted she watches AVs without an ounce of shame. I’m assuming she found it on the hard drives on the computers at the net cafe when playing LOL with her teammates. If you were a guy, this would definitely be considered as sexual harrassment.
Xiao Qin took out her phone like she thought the chaotic wasn’t chaotic enough, “I, I also want a photo.”
Why are you trying to join in? Have you always been harboring bad feelings for her because her breasts are multiple times larger than yours? Or is it because the spirit of the Little Tyrant is still inside of your and it would only give up when you bully someone.
“How could you do this….”
Gong CaiCai sobbed sadly, then she took a pack of napkins out of her pockets to wipe her face.
“Haha, confiscated.” Xiong YaoYue heartlessly snatched away the pack of napkins.
Gong CaiCai wanted to get it back, but Xiong YaoYue pressed down on her head with a single hand and kept her seated. Gong CaiCai could only stare hopelessly at the pack of napkins.
“Return it, I’m… going to get mad.”
Gong CaiCai’s threat was completely unconvincing, and the white fluid rolling down her cheeks made me have some bad thoughts.
“I’ll return it if you call me husband.” Xiong YaoYue said with a giggle.
Xiao Qin took the chance to take a picture of Gong CaiCai while they were arguing.
Then she lifted the corners of her mouth with an evil expression on her face.
“Hehehe, now to send this to Eunuch Cao…”
What does this have to do with Eunuch Cao? Or does he already listen to your commands because he recognizes you as my wife? Are you planning to hand that photo to him to make an even more wicked photo to ruin her reputation? What did she ever do to you?
Loud Mouth went to stop Xiong YaoYue while Little Smart put her hand on her breast with an empty expression.
So, it’s a bloodbath caused by breast size? Since Loud Mouth had decent sized breasts she got in between the fight of the largest and third largest in the class. But Little Smart who was flat like Xiao Qin stood as a bystander.
“Xiao Xiong, you’re going overboard.” I smacked the table to get her attention. Since she considers herself as one of my bros, then I have to point it out when my bros make a mistake.
“Huh, really?” Xiong YaoYue scratched her head, “I think it’s fine~~”
But what you think is fine is especially awful for Gong CaiCai! It might be a joke you could handle, but Gong CaiCai is almost about to cry!
I took out a pack of napkins from my pocket and handed it to Gong CaiCai.
“Use this to wipe it first, otherwise it would be hard to wipe up the yogurt when it dries.”
Gong CaiCai paused for a bit. She was abnormally embarrassed and gratefully received the napkins.
Then I ordered Xiao Qin:
“Delete the photo you just took.”
Xiao Qin feigned ignorance: “Huh, I was taking a picture of the cafeteria lady. She looked a lot like Rong MoMo, so I wanted to show my mom.”
Lying through your teeth… I mean what’s the point of showing your mom even if she does look like Rong MoMo.
I took Xiao Qin’s phone and quickly deleted the photo.
Damn, what a wicked photo! If Eunuch Cao made it into an actual cover of an AV, then it could actually be passed as genuine!
When I took a closer look, I found a lot of pictures of me on Xiao Qin’s phone. Some of them were of me sleeping on my desk, some were of me playing basketball, and some were of me drinking water in the shade… when did you take all of these! There were about about a couple hundred on her phone alone, so I have no idea how many she took in total.
I angrily deleted all the photos she took of me without my permission.
Xiao Qin couldn’t even stop me in time, so she sprawled out on the table and began sobbing but I knew it was fake.
“Boo hoo hoo~~~ Ye Lin classmate…..”
After Gong CaiCai finally cleaned her face and was planning on returning my napkins, but she saw Xiao Qin crying.
Would she think of me as someone who hurts their childhood friend just to help her?
“I’m sorry.” Gong CaiCai bowed deeply and apologized to Xiao Qin, “Please stop crying, or I… I…”
It was already hard enough for her to stop crying, but once she heard Xiao Qin cry, she was about to shed tears again.
Xiao Qin raised her head when she heard Gong CaiCai’s apologize wihtout a single drop of tears on her face.
“I’ll stop crying if you return my breasts.”
“Um… that…”
Gong CaiCai actually thought earnestly about Xiao Qin’s unreasonable request.
“I’m sorry, I can’t do it.”
Since Xiong YaoYue didn’t actually take a photo of Gong CaiCai, the case was finally dropped.
After some advice from me, ‘her best friend’, Xiong YaoYue relaized her mistake and bought a bottle of yogurt as an apology. She even said sincerely to her:
“If you’re still mad, you can spray it on my face too.”
Then she closed her eyes and stood there.
Of course, Gong CaiCai wouldn’t actually do it and she said feebly:
“As long as you bully me less later on…”
After lunch, I received a call from Director Cao.
I was originally worried he would want me to steal Ai Mi’s underwear again. This time I would have to reject him no matter what even if he offers thirty thousand.
But if you’re not especially picky, you can easily get a pair of underwear from Obama with some dog food. But that’s not something I would share with Director Cao.
But Director Cao didn’t even mention underwear, instead, he wanted to discuss about turning the viral underwear on my head video into advertisement for his series.
I thought Eunuch Cao only said it randomly as a cover up.
“Xiao Ye Zi, my son wasn’t only saying it randomly. He might be young but he has a business mindset like me.”
That’s true, I mean he made a ton of money selling those PS photos.
“I’m planning to officially announcing you as Wu Sheng’s substitute actor and invite you to talk on Little People, Big Dreams.”
Oh, isn’t that the show that invited Su Qiao to talk about the path from a minor actor. It has pretty high viewer ratings.
“Who cares about ratings, it’s all about the content. I’m going to also invite your opponent and have both of you wear underwear over your heads, then the ratings would skyrocket.”
If I actually did that, I wouldn’t have the face to return to 28 Middle anymore.
Director Cao kept hounding me on who the other person was and asked how much money did he have to pay so he would come onto the show.
He’s not lacking any money since he’s the young master of the entire chain of dojangs! He would never appear on the show or his father’s business would take a huge dive!
I refused Director Cao’s request and said I didn’t know who he was. And I said I wouldn’t do it even for two million and he should do it himself.
“I’m fine with wearing underwear over my head. I’ve already done it on a Japanese game show before… but it’s useless if I do it, because only the involved party (you) doing it will attract everyone’s attention.”
Then Director Cao wanted me to be the main protagonist for his next film, but I suspected it was an AV and directly refused.