The closer Auntie Ren came, the more I frowned. Plus, I looked like an over-decorated Christmas tree with all the underwear hanging off my body.
I shook of all the undergarments from my body in a hurry. Then, I took off the 9 pairs of underwear off my head and put the innermost one (the one that belongs to Ai Mi) back into my pockets. As for the one in my hand, the bra that likely belongs to Auntie Ren, I stuffed it back into the bag while trembling with fear.
By the way, her bra was at least a C cup. Xiao Qin, why couldn’t you inherit some of your mother’s breast genes? If you were a bit more developed, I would have realized earlier you were a girl.
It was a bit dark outside and I was wearing a Qing Zi Academy uniform, so Auntie Ren wasn’t able to recognize me right away. She mistook me as a common pervert who steals underwear.
“Ah, a student from Qing Zi Academy. Who would have thought there would a talent who could scale buildings with their bare hands in a school filled with useless people….”
Auntie Ren spoke sarcastically with a stern face.
“You better not run, otherwise, I’ll tell your principal to expel you.”
I had nothing to fear since I was innocent. I stood still proudly and waited for Auntie Ren.
After taking a quick look over my uniform, I realized I made too many large movements and caused a lot of the buttons and even the school crest to fall off. Qing Zi Academy’s uniform isn’t suited for fights, and the class leader isn’t here this time to help me mend it.
Auntie Ren gradually came closer and realized the underwear thief she caught was her daughter’s boyfriend.
“Why is it you?” Auntie Ren was both angry and shocked, “Do you and your dad have nothing else to do other than cause trouble?”
I made a o(╯□╰)o expression, “Auntie Ren, how did I cause trouble, and what does this have to do with my dad? Please don’t wrongly accuse me, the person I was fighting with earlier is the thief.”
Auntie Ren’s eyebrows jumped when she heard me mention my dad. It was like she heard a pest like cockroaches or mosquitoes.
Do you need to hate my dad to such an extent? Didn’t you have a turn of heart and offered him to sleep for a night in his own room? It was a standard hotel room with two single beds, so he wouldn’t even dare make a move on you. Was it because he was snoring in his sleep and disturbed your sleep?
“I never saw you guys fight.” Auntie Ren stood in front of me like an interrogator, “Weren’t you guys splitting the loot and seeing who can put more underwear on their heads…”
We weren’t comparing who could wear more, but who could put more on each other’s heads. Did you actually think we put these underwear on our own heads? What kind of loot splitting party were you imagining?
“Confess.” Auntie Ren said, “What’s your relationship with the outdoor jacket guy? He crawled up to the fourth floor balcony to steal our underwear and scared Xiao Qin half to death.”
Huh, so are you saying Xiao Qin’s underwear is also in this bag? Which pair is it, the cartoon one he put on me first looks like her type. Don’t tell me I wore my sister’s underwear and my girlfriend’s at the same time? Why does it make me seem even more perverted even though it was for justice?
Besides, why would Xiao Qin be scared? Wasn’t she the one who dominated me for years? She could use her Hokuto Shinken and hit him down four floors and turn him into a meat paste.
Then I slowly came to a realization: Young master Xu is the same age as us and it triggered her androphobia. When will she be able to get over her fears?
Based on Auntie Ren’s description, she didn’t see the thief’s true identity. She only saw Xiao Qin sitting paralyzed on the balcony after hearing her shriek. She questioned her and found out all their washed underwear was stolen. So, she left Xiao Qin at home and chased after the thief for a long time.
“Auntie Ren, believe me, I’m not his accomplice.”
Auntie Ren crossed her arms in front of her chest and snorted: “There are no good men.”
Ah, why did it escalate to an issue of gender? Why does Auntie Ren seem like a resentful woman?
Then she picked up the bag filled with stolen underwear and hooked it around her own shoulder.
“These can’t be used anymore since it’s been dirtied by the two of you. I’m going to bring it back and burn them.”
“Don’t burn it!” I stopped her, “It’s important evidence, especially the bag. I need it to find the true perpetrator.”
Auntie Ren hesitated a bit because I seemed sincere, then she asked:
“Then tell me, who’s the true perpetrator?”
I pointed towards the direction young master Xu escape to. “Although I don’t know his full name, I’m sure he’s the son of Xu JinSheng, the owner of the Golden Victory Taekwondo dojang. People refer to him as young master Xu and he’s the one committing the crimes in this past month.”
“Xu JinSheng.” Auntie Ren frowned, “He has six or seven chain dojangs in this city and over a thousand members. Don’t slander him.”
“I’m not. I fought with young master Xu once under the bridge by Da Ning River. He became an underwear thief after losing to me.”
“Why would he become the underwear thief after losing?” Auntie Ren was full of doubt.
“No, I didn’t force him to become the underwear thief. I’m assuming he already had an interest in women’s underwear and his miserable loss to me only caused his built up stress to implode.”
“Fine.” Auntie Ren grabbed onto my shoulder, “In order to prove your innocence, you have to come with me.”
“Wh- where?”
“Of course, it’s to Golden Victory Taekwondo.”
“But didn’t you say they had six or seven chain stores? And it’s not like he definitely escaped to one of their dojangs….”
Auntie Ren clenched her fist. “He can run, but he can’t hide. We can go to their main dojang in and demand them to give him up. If Xu JinSheng wants to defend his son and refuses, then I’ll… knock down their signboard.”
Eh, is this the so-called martial arts challenge? Why do I feel like Chen Zhen right now? I’m full of excitement and expectation.
Of course, since I’m all out of stamina after our fight, I will hide behind Auntie Ren…