I guess Alexi is sensitive to head injuries given what happened with Gino, and this isn’t really about me
at all. He just happens to get panicky over people dying from brain injury, I guess.
‘I’m fine. I just need you to leave,’ I call out softly. I don’t think I have the energy anymore to even get
up.
‘I told you. I’m not going anywhere without you. I’m not leaving you here.’ He sounds determined and I
just get agitated once more—our roundabout of emotions and moods that never ends.
‘Jesus Christ Alexi!’ I get up, despite the effort it takes, yank the chair away from the door and pull it
open with force, to be faced with him standing, leaning both hands against the frame, so I walk right
into his space as he stands bracing himself. It’s a bit like getting slapped in the face being suddenly
assaulted with him in such an up-front manner. I practically bang my nose on his chest but I don’t show
that it rattles me.
‘Why?’ I implore, exhausted with him already and it’s been less than an hour in his company. I forgot
how tiring he can be and how infuriatingly stubborn when his mind is set on something.
Alexi’s eyes run over my face and I swear I see a tiny flinch as he gets a fresh look at the mess of it in
this light. We are directly under a weird lamp that overhangs my bedroom door and probably the
brightest spot in the apartment. Eyebrows dipping, he flexes that square jaw before looking back into
my eyes. He hesitates, a long pause as he just stares at me, that brain obviously whirring and clicking
away.
‘I need you in my club.’ He’s the one who moves away this time, and before I get a chance to say
anything else the carpenter opens the door and walks in, breaking the tension that’s thick enough to cut
with a knife.
‘Door shuts and I fitted a new internal lock and handles on each side. I put some of your dead bolts
back on with a wooden panel to strengthen the wood and straighten it out, and will get to the windows
when your man returns with the catches from my workshop.’ He draws us away from our conversation.
‘Thanks. Mico will settle the bill when he gets back.’ Alexi turns to him and walks towards the man to
check the door, opening and shutting it himself and trying the locks as he inspects its strength. He
looks for a moment, completely at home, taking command and supervising something and it serves to
remind me of who he is.
‘Put every bolt back on and maybe a couple more, can’t be too safe right?’ He throws me a look over
his shoulder and I just roll my eyes at him, turn and walk back into my room and sit on the bed to
steady my shaky legs. I think my body has finally lost the fight, and I have no idea how I am still
standing. I sink into the semi-hard mattress dejectedly, picking at the bobbled blanket while trying to
zone out from reality for a few minutes, to get some respite.
It all feels surreal and like I’m not really here. I am that sleepy.
A few hours ago, he was a distant memory and now he’s here throwing orders around and taking over
like he always does; Taking command, filling the atmosphere with his dominant presence.
It’s like no time has passed and I just want him gone so I can breathe. He makes it near impossible to
think straight. It’s too easy to sit back and fall under his care when it’s like this and I know he will keep
weakening me to the point I end up agreeing to anything. He’s too potent to be around, and I am too
feeble to stay standing for much longer.
I look up when movement at my door attracts my attention and catch him standing there, leaning
against the frame and looking at me again. I must have zoned out from tiredness to not have heard him
come back. And just gaze at him with the heaviest and slowest of exhales.
‘What now?’ It’s quiet, low, defeated because I’m just too tired for this shit.
‘It’s an open offer—for when you change your mind—IF you change your mind.’ His tone matches mine
in terms of gentleness and lacklustre. Alexi is relenting, backing down, and now I know something is up
with him. Alexi NEVER backs down, ever. I don’t think it’s in his DNA to do so and I squint at him
suspiciously.
‘Why are you being so weird?’ It’s out of my mouth before I put my brain in gear and I curse myself for
it. I can never just shut up, let him say his peace and leave … can I?
‘A lot can change in four months … maybe I just realise that I made mistakes in how I treated you.’ He
frowns at me with a hint of a smile that brings out one dimple and it shakes me a little. A reminder of
that charm he has tucked away and how well he uses it to his advantage. Like a bucket of icy cold
water tossed in my face.
‘Too little, too late. Should have figured out what you had when it was still yours. It isn’t anymore. You
gave me my freedom and I’m not handing it back. We’re going around in circles so maybe just admit
defeat and leave.’ I shake my head at him, trying to ignore the pain in my gut from his words and just
pray Mico comes and takes him away soon.
Alexi just keeps staring at me relentlessly with that infuriatingly unreadable face, and despite all he has
been, I don’t feel the fear like I used to when faced with Mr Unemotional.
I don’t care what he’s thinking about, he has no power over me anymore. Since he arrived, I have
thrown things at him, slapped him and shoved him around, and he has yet to actually retaliate in any
way. Something tells me he isn’t going to; I don’t know how I could know that, but I can feel it.
Something has changed in his behaviour; I should stop questioning it and thank my lucky stars he’s
playing nice … not that I trust it.
Almost like I willed it, I catch Mico’s voice as he walks in behind Alexi and appears at the door too. Like
a saviour in the midst and I’m rushed with relief and genuine happiness to see him back. My body
sagging finally, knowing I can relax once more, and he might finally remove this thorn from my side.
‘Hey, I’m back. Is she coming with us?’ He sounds bright and weirdly cheerful for such an early hour in
the morning. It annoys me that he also expected me to jump and run after Carrero like a sad little
puppy; I grit my teeth and give him an unamused look.
‘No, she is not,’ I answer for myself and throw him an accusatory glare. Mico was meant to be on my
side, not pairing up with his freakishly similar looking cousin on this. He’s the one who told me to break
free of this life and start over.
Why the hell is he back pedalling now?
Alexi and Mico pass some sort of look at each other and Alexi turns and walks back into the other
room, leaving me staring at my so-called friend and I wonder what the heck that was. Some silent
‘communicado’ between gangsters and Mico is taking over? It’s unusual for Alexi to step out of a
discussion when he isn’t winning. Mico sighs and comes in to sit on the bed beside me without
invitation, but it’s not like I can be bothered to refuse. I have barely enough in me to move from the bed
anymore.
‘Take the offer.’ He looks me right in the eye with sincerity, a genuine pleading frown, and I start
laughing at him.
‘I can’t believe you. Four months ago, you stood in that room and told me to cut ties with this life and
get far away from it. That he would never be my hero and I should get far away from all of you.’ I
remind him sternly.
‘I know, but things change.’ Mico looks from me to the open door, I guess to check if Alexi is hovering
nearby.
‘Why, what’s changed exactly? Other than he’s losing money,’ I ask pointedly, disinterested in Alexi’s
whereabouts.
He motions around the room as if to say my current living situation has made him change his mind, but
I’m not buying it. Everyone can go through patches of being down on their luck; they don’t throw in the
towel at the first hurdle. Mico was adamant enough to walk away from me in the hospital and let me go
too. I am not going to believe for one second that me hitting a low point has motivated Alexi to grow a
heart in his empty chest. He didn’t know until he got here, unless he has been keeping tabs on me,
which I wouldn’t put past him, to be honest. I know he has spies everywhere.
Mico sighs, seeing the disbelieving look splattered across my face, and turns back to me with a
friendlier effort.
‘It won’t be the same; I’ll make sure of that. If you came back, I can promise it would be different.’
‘You got a cage big enough to keep that locked up indefinitely?’ I nod towards Alexi, who seems to be
pacing the other room and watching the carpenter at the window, trying not to look in here and failing.
He seems restless and antsy, which is another unusual state for him. Not that I care anymore.
I don’t know how to read him but even so, I can tell something is off. He’s acting strange, Mico is acting
the same and I feel like I have hit the twilight zone with these two. I wonder what else is going on under
the surface of this offer to warrant the weirdness from the two of them, or their insistence I come back.
There has to be more to this.
The club is not that important in his empire, so I know this is not like a life or death ‘we need you to
save the day’ type scenario.
‘Didn’t I tell you once that there is a lot more to him than what you see? He wouldn’t be here if he
wasn’t trying to make amends. Give him a chance Camilla, to put right some of the shit that went
down.’ Mico takes my hand and squeezes it, making me jump with the movement as he does so, and I
stare at him a little distrustfully. Overkill with nice, even coming from him of all people, makes me
nervous.
‘He isn’t capable of remorse, so I doubt that’s true.’ I don’t move my hand but it stays ridged in his hold
… awkwardly so.
Mico sighs again, heavily, displaying his frustration, but he glosses over my response.
‘Think about it … Alexi won’t revoke this offer. He wants you to come back. We both do … Give him a
chance to prove you wrong.’
Alexi doesn’t want me, he wants his money-making machine to be put right again, and he knows I’m
the one who set her in motion. I have the know-how to make her roll again. No matter how many
different ways they phrase it, my answer will be the same.
‘I have thought about it. Alexi is the reason I won’t accept it, and I’m sorry if I seem ungrateful Mico. I
just have to find my own way now. I’m sorry I made you come here, and I will pay you back for the
repairs …’
‘Don’t. It’s nothing.’ He sounds defeated too and I don’t get this softly, softly, approach from them. Both
are men who get what they want, or they manipulate the outcome of what they want. I have watched
them both pair up and smoothly close many deals in the club. Neither is trying to force me or
manoeuvre me and it’s wholly unnerving.
I think he realises this is useless too and I won’t back down. Alexi keeps glancing my way and he’s
making me nervous. His weird behaviour, pacing like a caged animal in my small space, the unusual
quiet and even letting Mico take over when it comes to enforcing what he wants. This is not how he is
and I don’t trust either of them at this moment. Team tagging me to try and sway me to come back. I
don’t believe for a minute that I am that important. There is always an angle … always a motive. Not
always obvious, but I can guarantee there is one.
‘I have work in the morning. I need to try and get some sleep before then. Just get my head down for
an hour at least. Thank you for this … really … thank you.’ I nod at the other room and impulsively
squeeze his hand back before letting it go completely. Glad to be free of the contact.
It’s not that I am not grateful; I just need them to leave and let me lie down. I’m weary, hot with an
impending fever and emotionally fraught. This whole thing has been a huge ordeal, and I am still
suffering the after-effects of a knock to the brain which is making me feel sick and dizzy.
Last thing I expected was a Carrero invasion, and now I am definitely suffering the effects of that.
‘Don’t change your number or run off anywhere in a hurry. You have no idea how hard we have been
looking for you these past months, Meghan.’ Mico smiles at me this time, amused by my name choice,
back to friendly and reliable henchman and I smile too.
‘You don’t think it suits me?’ I nudge his shoulder with mine, relaxing in the moment and remembering
all the reasons I missed this guy. That lack of danger around him, that solid safety knowing he is not my
enemy in any way, shape or form, and having a genuine friend and ally at times that I can honestly
relax with.
‘No, neither does the hair.’
I shrug at that, not willing to admit that funds forced that more than animosity did and catch sight of
Alexi watching me from the other room, watching us, silently.
He’s leaning against the far wall with one foot propped up behind him, his phone in his hand as though
he’s texting, yet his eyes are on me. When he catches me looking back, he gives me a small smile,
enough to freak me out completely. It’s a half smile, not his usual smirk, and somehow strangely soft.
It’s almost as though for a moment he was trying to be warm and endearing. I look away again not sure
what that was. Inner waves of cold mistrust sweep through me.
It was not his usual sardonic or calculating look; it seemed, dare I say it, for a moment … completely
genuine like he was happy to see me.
I must be high; I am so much sicker than I thought.
‘Right … get out of here. Let a girl sleep. I’m sure you guys have made this place like a fortress
already.’ I shove Mico’s shoulder, keeping my eyes averted from that devil out there, and exhale with
relief when he does get up to go and pulls the door with him.
‘We’ll let ourselves out when we are done. Windows won’t take long and we shall try and be quiet.
Seriously, think about it Camilla … Please.’
‘Go!’ I throw the nearest cushion at the door and he yanks it shut to dodge it, leaving me alone at last
with a final click as he closes it tight. I slump backwards on the bed and let my arms fall out in a star
shape, finally able to just stop and fall to bits … exhaustion hitting me hard.
I know they will mill about out there till the job is done, but in here I am going to sleep. I can forget all
about them and worry about tomorrow when it gets here.
I have so much to process and yet all I want to do is close my eyes and forget all of this.
I have no money.
I have no way out of this dump.I do have an offer though … even if I have no intention of taking
it.
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