‘Don’t you agree, London?’ Alexi’s voice breaks into my thoughts as I slide in beside him in on my
return from the bathroom; A small space between him and Alessandra, who is facially glued to Gino as
they have themselves a passionate make-out session. Her arse bumps into me as I squeeze against
Alexi a little more, sliding my arm in his, so I can lean closer and nestle in against him with my temple
on his shoulder. I’m starting to wane with booze consumption and sore feet from way too much dance
floor shenanigans. I’m getting tired as the night moves into the early hours. It has to be after 2 a.m. for
sure.
‘Agree with what?’ I flutter my lashes up at him adoringly from my position and he automatically
smooths a hair from across my face as he gazes back down at me. A slight gentle touch that causes a
million tingles to erupt from my skin and insides, insides somersaulting and letting loose my cage of
butterflies, and I try to push it aside. He’s been this way all night and I should put it down to copious
amounts of vodka loosening him up. He’s been drinking them like water.
I know I’m being overly touchy too as alcohol takes away inhibitions, and I am trying to police myself.
It’s hard to remember how much I hate him when he has made me laugh all night, kept me cared for,
plied me with endless drinks and given me an abnormally huge amount of time and attention even
though we are surrounded by his kinfolk.
Maybe he does like me after all.
Maybe a mafia king can change a little bit?
‘The club is starting to shape up. That bringing you back was the best thing for it.’ He smiles softly,
those eyes of his are darker and hazy tonight and I almost melt into them so effortlessly when
accompanied by dimples.
Stop it, Camilla! Shake yourself and sober up.
‘Hmmmmmmm.’ I smile lazily, not really wanting to get into the details or a frame of mind to unearth the
‘why’ to my leaving the club. I am in too good a mood to go back to being pissed at him for that.
‘You don’t agree?’ Mico slides in with a grin, across from us on another seat, and I catch his eyes
scanning our cosy position with an odd twinkle. He’s drunk too and casually leaning back with an arm
around Mandy, who looks asleep to be honest. Her face tucked into his chest and her hair is fanned
over it. She was downing shots like they were going out of fashion earlier, so maybe she has passed
out and he’s taking care of her. Seeing them like this solidifies how cute they are together. They sort of
fit somehow, and it only highlights that I care about him in a completely platonic way, as I feel so much
warmth seeing them curled up cosily.
‘I’ll agree when I wipe all traces of Hoe-anne out of my décor and the running of things. Can we not talk
about the club please, for one night?’ I answer a touch harshly and Alexi moves beside me. He slides
his arm out of mine and instead drapes it around my shoulder loosely and pulls me in for a squeeze. I
have to adjust my bum nearer to be able to sit up rather than be pulled over.
‘My girl’s sensitive.’ He grins at Mico and earns himself an elbow jab from me. I’m getting irate with the
direction of this now; it’s an area I wanted to forget for one night.
‘Is she? Might be nice to meet her sometime. Is she here?’ I look up haughtily as I sit more stiffly and
upright, deadpan expression and complete seriousness to my tone. Alexi frowns down at me, wounded
expression, and Mico bursts out laughing.
‘That’s you told.’ Mico interjects with a laugh that gets a foot swipe from Alexi at his legs.
‘She wouldn’t be her if she didn’t have a sassy comeback and hints of Alexi hate … I think it’s
mellowing though!’ Alexi comes back to gaze at me and I just shake my head at him with a sigh.
‘I think it’s ingrained for an eternity,’ I reply with a shrug and weirdly Alexi just smiles at me softly.
‘We’ll see.’
The answer is soft and for my ears only and has the effect of a tidal wave of goosebumps and heart
flutters which I push aside. I just raise a brow sarcastically as though brushing it off and focus on
drinking my ‘sex on the beach’ without a real answer. Alexi is being overly nice, so I am going to just
ignore it.
To everyone else we must look like we are together, properly, although the lack of make-out sessions
and groping some of his family are doing around us should be a huge neon sign. Alexi isn’t shy about
grinding up on his current date and here we are acting like first daters from a Christian school. It’s very
naïve and innocent on the surface.
Although I may have visualised screwing him relentlessly more than once tonight when he didn’t catch
me eye raping him from head to toe. It sucks knowing what that is like—what he feels like and how
good sex with us was when he wasn’t being a complete psychotic bastard.
I am going to have to give ‘BOB’ the work out of all sex sessions later at the hotel. Thank fuck I packed
him in my bag in the off chance I may get an urge or two from being tipsy around a sexy Carrero or ten.
I’m not going to lie and say I would never like to do it again … he works, we worked. It’s just not worth
the fall out and the damage he inflicts on me emotionally.
I swear alcohol has a lot to answer for, but at least it’s not making me miserable and emotional tonight.
Somehow with him being this way, I feel more stable and chirpier than I maybe should. I should
probably be more on guard, more self-aware and keeping an active distance.
It seems he is the one being sensible instead.
He’s kept his hands in places that aren’t a huge deal to me, hips, hands, shoulder or small of my back.
In fact, I get the feeling he is making a conscious effort to not touch me anywhere inappropriate that
might make me uncomfortable, although I am trying not to dissect it. He’s not made any attempt to hold
me captive when I wanted to dance or stray away with one of the women, even when I went to the bar
with Mico. He seems relaxed, carefree and very drunk.
Very non-controlling psycho.
He seems far removed from the Alexi Carrero I met a year ago. The two are worlds apart tonight, and I
am truly starting to warm and relax in his company. I can admit, just not to him, I am having a good time
with him watching over me.
His cousins and such are a welcoming group of people, dance like mad and party like pros. I have
been swept into the fold and my legs are aching with being dragged up over and over again by the
women around me until most of them are now chilling by their men or passed out like Mandy. I haven’t
laughed as much in years, if ever, because they all have a quick and wicked sense of humour, and their
constant stories and family tales are hilarious. I feel like they are genuinely nice people and it makes
his connection in all this even stranger. Two sides to that complex man.
It’s a weird feeling to be part of the crowd and included. Alessandra specifically keeps pulling me with
her and twice has dragged me to the ladies’ room to touch up our makeup and gossip about the
random hopeless outfits we have witnessed. Money does not always buy taste, and we have pointed
out some complete garish dresses on odd women. I like the girl. We have this whole drunk
camaraderie going on and she is easy to be around. Although she is now arse bumping me
horrendously as her and Gino get very turned on and handsy, and I think it’s pretty close to some booth
sex the way they are going at it—clearly hot for one another. I just wish I wasn’t stuck between her and
Alexi, but his brother hasn’t strayed far from him all night.
Gino and Alexi when in the same crowd naturally draw to one another, and I have noticed Alexi is
always on the right side no matter what. When they walk, sit or chat. They rarely separate, even when
Mico gets in the fold, and they huddle in that way to chat. Gino and Alexi are always a pair no matter
what groups they all split off into. Not as in glued side by side but as in always just together. A sign the
bond is really still there, two halves of one cell. It’s something I have watched for hours now and
completely intrigued.
They drink the same drinks, they sit the same, they look and laugh the same, and they even get drunk
in the same way. It’s spooky as hell.
‘Dance with me!’ Alexi nudges my leg with his to bring my attention back to him and holds a hand out
with that cute boy soft smile of his. He looks unimposing and just endearing. I accept willingly, seeing
as I have danced with him off and on all night, he’s actually pretty good at it. I have no more regrets
about coming. I have seen a whole new side to him that’s more human and less bastard for once.
I wonder if it will last beyond tonight.
Competent mover, confident with it, and I’m aware of all the glances and smiles surrounding women
give him when he gets up with me to guide me to the clearing on the floor amid the movers and
shakers. He always attracts a lot of female appreciation and it’s not just because he is a good-looking
man. He’s tall, stands like a dominant, oozes alpha male and walks with an aura of self-confidence that
practically has them throwing their knickers at him.
I don’t blame them. I had the same physical response to him when I first laid eyes on him too. He is
something anyway, even if his dark soul and cruel mind are a part of that. Not that tonight supports it.
The human version he’s being has me feeling all out of whack around him and it’s wholly disconcerting.
It’s easy to forget how much I dislike him when he’s been on the charm offensive all night; Smiles,
smooth mood, weirdly nice and completely not Alexi.
He takes my hand in his, warm skin, lacing his fingers through mine snugly in a hold more befitting
Mico and Mandy than us and leads the way to the floor. I can’t help the little warm flutters his touch still
gives me, but I push it down and try to ignore it. Along with the breathless light-headed feeling I am
getting with too many cocktails.
I’m drunk, much more prone to fragile emotional outbursts, pointless thoughts and silly reactions, so I
am trying to keep my mind on chirpy and fun and not ponder anything beyond that. Even hand holding.
I need to ignore my inner SHE, heated and squirming sensually as it takes a tight grip on my nether
regions. I can go back to hating him when we get home, but right now I’m enjoying the person he’s
pretending to be and trying not to mentally meltdown over it.
If he was like this from day one then maybe I would have liked him a whole lot more. Well I fell for him,
but I never actually liked him, which is stupid I know. I don’t even understand it myself. I guess there
were always parts that called to my deepest parts in the depth of his levels—his protective side, his
possessive never share me with anyone side. Maybe even sometimes that pushy, controlling bastard
who made me feel like I mattered in some way, even when he was verbally telling me I didn’t. He gave
me something that my soul craved—a place to call home, self-worth in his empire and safety; the
possibility of love. Even if at the same time he was destroying me in other ways … and finally taking it
all away.
Also, I can never forget the man who held me close and made love to me after Santagato’s man tried
to take me. Whoever he was that night—that is the Alexi I fell hard for, and I am seeing glimpses of him
again in his behaviour tonight. I’m aware it’s probably why I am feeling so woozy and strange.
He is so much like Gino in his mood and personality like this and I can see they are more alike than I
used to think. This side of him is reserved for family I guess and his once every two years night off. I
assume this is why he doesn’t get raging drunk very often. Softens all his hard edges and he loses that
sinister cloak of evil.
The music changes when we get to the floor, from the intense house beat that has everyone bouncing
around to a much slower smooth jam that is pushing couples to start swaying towards one another, and
I back up to get back off the floor; Apprehensive with the slow smoother tune that is made to make-out
too. Alexi doesn’t though, he slides his arm around my waist snugly and pulls me in against him, so we
end up torso to torso and I only have his shoulders to plant my hands on. It’s either that or I’ll look like a
weird flailing idiot. Breathless and shocked with the sudden manoeuvre when faced with his body
pressed to mine.
‘What are you doing?’ I yell in his ear over the loud music, not sure where in the no touching rules I
would put this little move. His groin is most definitely pressed into my pelvis and my boobs are only
getting breathing space because my arms are between us, bent to keep my palms on his shoulders.
He’s all around me very evasively and I start to feel suffocated with a very low and foreboding sense of
panic.
‘Dancing,’ he answers back, leaning in so his mouth is against my ear, breathing down onto my neck
and naked collarbone and igniting millions of internal eruptions. Like tiny fireworks in my stomach. He
sways with me as he gets a little cosier in how he’s holding me. One arm around my waist, keeping me
pinned to him solidly and the other slides up to flatten between my shoulder blades, so my face is
against his cheek as he leans down. Completely wrapped up in his hold and unable to move or escape
it. Not a part of me is saved from touching him, even his feet are separated so one is between mine
and my knees are on either side of his leg. It just feels a whole lot of dangerous and going too far,
compared to sitting on his lap. This is a step over the line.
‘Alexi …’ I try to put some space between us, feeling instantly uncomfortable with how intimate this is. I
agreed to dance not cuddle up to a love song, and I don’t trust my body to just be okay to dance and
then go sit down like this is nothing. I can literally feel every single part of him against me and my nerve
endings are sparking with the sensation—Breathless, more light-headed and so out of my depth as my
lady parts stir warmly and little flashes of twisting heat move up inside of me so my vajayjay throbs and
tingles. I know that sexual craving well, and he ignites it effortlessly. Stomach tightening with it.
It’s the first time since I left him that I feel completely under his control, and even my heart is struggling
to stay afloat of the swirling emotions and longings wrapping me up in desire.
I hate him, but he’s still someone who can turn me to mush, he’s still gorgeous and strong and sexually
appealing … Even if he is a wanker.
I try to push against his chest to get free, but he only pulls me back and wraps me more snugly within
his body and arms and I have to fight myself not to give in, close my eyes and enjoy how good this
feels. It’s not good, on any level. It’s Alexi moving in for the kill, fucking with my mind and luring me
down the path of impending destruction. My brain is screaming at me to reverse, turn and run like a bat
out of hell, every part of me stiffening up in response to my nerves and fear jumping to high voltage.
‘Relax … Being other people tonight, remember?’ He scoops one of my hands in his, by releasing the
one between my shoulder blades, and holds it like we are going to waltz, tilting me back so suddenly
that I yelp, startled. He pulls me back up fast and does a cute little lambada move against me, grinding
pelvis to pelvis a la ‘dirty dancing’ with a weird face pout that’s so wrong on him. Despite myself, and
the instant self-combustion with his crotch hitting me in a very good place that almost buckles my
knees, I start giggling at him. Ridiculous has never been his forte and the sudden injection of humour
kills all my crazy rambling thoughts and quietens my doubts.
He pulls another crazy face, equally silly, and shimmies against me like Patrick Swayze, only badly. No
coordination on purpose. The face makes me break. He just looks so serious, yet not. Completely
hilarious and I burst into a proper light-hearted laugh. Alexi smiles too, all dimples, white teeth and
smooth eyebrows and a soft deep chuckle escapes him, I feel it rumble through his strong chest.
Relaxing, he loosens his overly tight embrace on me and I let my free hand slide around his shoulders
as he dances me around in a comical tango. Definitely not serious in any way, pulling squeals of
laughter from me as we bump into nearby couples, who glare our way as though we are troublesome,
bothersome kids. He spins me under his arm before trying a risky lift, picking me up and tipping me so
far back my boobs almost leave my dress.
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