Staring at the bathroom ceiling as I soak in the tub, feels like heaven on earth. Warm, clean and
luxuriating as my aches and pains soothe away in a bath I can actually lay down in. Nothing scratching
and poking into my skin under my body and no dirty brown, unhygienic and marginally warm water to
contend with.
Soft music from the apartment sound system is playing something classical, floating in the air around
me as citrus-scented candles burn in the low light and creates the most relaxing atmosphere I have
been in for months. I feel like I am a million miles away from the reality of how life was hitting me just
twelve hours ago.
It’s such a contrast to how I have been living and feels like my prayers have been answered. You truly
appreciate things like this after struggling for so long.
I’ve missed these rooms, this bathroom and the luxuries that come from being here in this world. I can
barely keep my eyes open, fatigue swimming over me from lack of sleep and my lingering bug. I forgot
how good this felt, even though it’s such a basic thing and taken for granted until you find yourself
poverty-stricken.
I love this tub, it’s large enough to submerge completely, big enough for two if I wanted a companion
and the jets for the Jacuzzi are on low, foaming away and giving me a full body massage as I soak in
expensive bubbles—courtesy of the housekeeper, who stocks the bathrooms with products even when
not in use and I could kiss her. I might die right here of complete satisfaction, purring like a kitten as all
of my problems ebb away.
I am one hundred percent on a cloud of delirium, and cannot believe that only this morning I was
stressing about where I was going to end up, or how to feed or fend for myself after today.
In one day from practically homeless, unsafe, and broke, to being in five-star accommodation with a
bank account destined to be singing a merry song soon enough. This is the life Camilla was born to
live, and she has been waiting on a reappearance of it with bated breath.
Money aside, the sense of being protected while being here is incomparable in any way and it’s this
that I ached for more than anything in the past weeks. To feel like I could stop running, stop being
weighed down and fighting so hard. Bastard or not, Alexi always made me feel as though nothing
outside of him would ever harm me and I would never want for material things. I can just exist here,
with no real worries other than him.
I have my doubts of course, about being back here in such close proximity to him, but I’m not as
worried as I was. The way I see it, he cannot do a damn thing to me if I don’t let him get close enough
to damage me again. Alexi is a mental abuser not a physical one and he needs you to be emotionally
invested to really get you on that level. I see that now. He needs physical contact like sex to effectively
turn the knife, well when it comes to my scars anyway. As long as I keep all of that in the forefront of
my mind and don’t ever let myself fall under his spell again, then I will be fine. I can get through this
and stand up to him.
We got through months of companionable business before we ever had sex, and it can be like that
again if I just remember—sex ruined everything. No sex—No problem.
My mood is definitely brighter and more serene now, and I am really feeling positive about this, even if
in my depths, the swirling sense of pride and stubborn is battling with me like an infernal tornado.
I am trying to ignore the warning bells, pangs of fear and push the anxiety aside. I can always leave if
this goes pear-shaped, maybe just be better prepared for a life back out there, and have back up plans
ready in case I need to go this time. This doesn’t need to be forever and I should look at it as a
temporary step to a better place until I see where it is going.
I can always walk out on him if he puts me back in a place where I feel threatened.
I came up here from the club after I did my walk around and found a million things which pissed me off,
so I needed to unwind and wipe the grime of the diner out of my pores once and for all. Joanne was
enraged at finding me perched on a bar stool waiting for her, and it was my greatest pleasure to throw
my orders in her face like a wench. All while dressed as Meghan from Joe’s diner and looking like a
street hobo that was far beneath her.
Somehow it made it all the more satisfying and her tantrummy ‘I am going to ask Alexi’ didn’t end well,
when she marched up to his office and came back down ten minutes later with her tail between her
legs and a pouty lip that was more suited to smacked toddler. Whatever he said to her put her face
completely out of joint, did a magnificent job. She was tearful, docile and went off to the ground floor
makeshift office to call the clients and staff without argument.
It was the highlight to my day.
I already have a cleaning crew booked in all day tomorrow and the next, after thirty minutes on my
phone to various places for a full sanitise. Just falling into my old role effortlessly, like I never left.
I also have decorators coming to look over the paintwork that needs redoing, in dark grey instead of the
shitty green tinted stone that she had slapped on the walls in my absence.
Lights are being hauled down as I lie here relaxing by the accommodating wiring company who are
being paid double to get that crap out of here pronto, and the new ones are being delivered tomorrow. I
managed to snag next day delivery on some pretty expensive chandeliers online, much like the ones
Hoe-anne removed and I cannot wait for her to see them go up.
The bar is being unstocked by the bar staff who had already turned up for their shift, they are all off
tomorrow as they will be back in two days to restock when our new delivery comes in. I wasted no time
in doing my job, tired and sick or not.
Alexi has kept out of my way upstairs in the office. I haven’t even seen Mico yet so I don’t even know if
he is even here, or knows that I am. I wonder if he will be happy and surprised by my change of heart.
He seemed just as keen as Alexi, so I guess so.
I have a million things to get through this week to get my club back to the standard I set upon it, and I
am starting after it’s clean and fresh. I also need to have the sprinkler system checked over, seeing as
it was the source of a flood and I don’t trust that bitch to have bothered. I am determined to get this
baby back to its previous glory and smooth running and I have a day to get myself back to the ‘hostess
with the mostest’ to get over whatever this is.
I used my phone to get on top of things needing immediate attention and the bar as a desk to start
‘doing’, which is what I have always been good at. No time like the present to dent a to-do list.
Now I have the apartment to myself, my belongings all lying in the living room after one of the men took
me for a half hour to get them, and hours of my evening to soak my troubles away and never face that
shithole of an apartment, or Joe, ever again. I left my landlord a lovely note, stuck to the front door,
telling him to go ram his rent. He used to love swinging by on the due date to try and coerce more than
what I owed him, and he’s due in days. Good luck with that, arsehole.
My face is no longer swollen like it was this morning, and most of the marks can be hidden with a good
bag of makeup when I go shopping tomorrow to refill both my cosmetics drawer and my wardrobe. My
shopaholic side is ecstatic with that turn of events and I have a bubbling sense of excitement every
time I spy King Carrero’s sexy credit card on the vanity. All in all, I feel like life just got a whole lot
sweeter.
I can almost forget that I just signed my existence back over to the devil when I’m surrounded by clean
comfortable settings and have a whole day of retail therapy and spa planned.
I managed to get a quickie appointment for my hair and nails at my preferred salon and Alexi has given
me a driver at my beck and call for the day. He had his head of security inform me when I ventured to
the lift to come up here.
He really is pulling out the stops to keep me here and I wonder if this is all really about his club. If I
didn’t know better, I would wonder if there is any guilt brewing in that closed off mind of his and then
remember … this is Alexi we are talking about and that’s as plausible as flying pigs.
I have a use once more and I have something he needs from me. He likes to use what he can acquire
and that would be me once more.
This time I won’t be so naïve as to think that I can let my guard down and let him near me in any way,
except for business. This is a new playing field and I won’t bend the rules for anything. Any feelings I
once had for him are lying beneath a solid concrete floor because I have buried them so deep I never
want them to resurface. I don’t trust him, I don’t put it past him to turn nasty at the drop of a hat, but I’m
prepared for it this time.
First sign of him trying to play with my head like he did and I will leave this all behind, even if I own half
the club. I will not let Alexi Carrero screw me up again, and I refuse to continue being afraid of him.
I have no doubts that this placid act he has going on is a temporary thing until he secures what he
wants from me and I will be watching for the change, ever aware of how he is.
I just do not want to spend my first night out of squalor thinking about him. I want to enjoy this luxury
and the fully stocked cold fridge he has up here and spend the night vegetating on the bed to watch the
fifty-five million channels he pays for on the flat screen in there.
Alexi knows how to keep a girl satisfied; materially anyway. I can’t deny that, and I am overjoyed to be
back in this apartment feeling like I am home once more.
I missed this more than I missed him.
I am looking forward to climbing into my old bed with its soft plush mattress and sleep under one
hundred percent cotton sheets to get over the remainder of this bug. It’s a far cry from the damp mess I
woke up in this morning and I don’t even feel a little bit guilty about planning on maxing Alexi’s card. I
feel like it’s the least he can do.
I pad across the living room in bare feet and a plush bathrobe that smells a little like Alexi, although I
am trying to ignore that fact, with my hair wrapped up in a towel on top of my head. I am rosy from my
hot soak for an hour and feel amazingly soft and refreshed, if not crazily sleepy. My brain on food as I
head for the refrigerator to check out what he has in here, starving because the last meal I had today
was the croissants from his henchman outside my door at first light.
Alexi tends to keep his apartments stocked with food when he is coming and going and this one looks
like it was stocked today, everything has long use by dates and nothing has been opened at all, not
even the creamer for his coffee. It suggests he intended staying here this week for whatever reason
and I hope to God he isn’t still planning on it. I need some space to acclimatise to this dumb decision I
have made, and I can settle a lot better if he stays out of my way for a while.
He’s a bit of a health freak and never eats anything sweet, so it’s all salads, pasta and food you can
microwave from a gourmet delivery service. He is anal about that body of his remaining a fat-free
temple and it is one area I could never get on board.
I’m a chocolate and cake craver and I have to put in daily yoga workouts to make sure I exercise it off.
It’s almost like my wake-up ritual when life is going better for me.
I stick my head inside as I rummage and jump when I become aware of someone behind me, moving
up close enough to make my hackles rise with a sixth sense. I almost drop my plate of acquired goods
on my feet as I spin around in alarm. Heart somersaulting with the fright it gives me and I curse loudly
in a mini yelp.
‘Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, I thought you heard me come in.’ Alexi is standing there looking at me
like this is the most normal thing in the world and all I can do is blink back at him, feeling underdressed
and heart hammering like a war drum as I try to calm my sudden breathless demeanour. He made me
almost shit myself and I’m not used to people creeping up on me like that.
‘I thought you said you would be gone all night?’ I snap at him accusingly, frowning, more in reaction to
the fact my body is in trembling meltdown of aftershock, hand on my chest to calm my erratic breathing
and slow down the manic panic of my heart. He just gazes at me, still dressed in his earlier outfit minus
the jacket, so it’s all rolled up sleeves with tattoos on show and fitted waistcoat moulded to the muscles
under that expensive shirt. His tie is loosened and the top button of his shirt undone so overall, it’s a
more winding down ensemble than the rigid groomed and foreboding of earlier.
He looks like he has had a tough afternoon and the slightly ruffled hair adds to it. I hate that he looks
fuckable like this and curse myself for that tight warm sensation low in the pelvis which reminds me that
sex and I haven’t had a rendezvous since I graced his bed months ago. I need to get my ‘Battery
operated boyfriend—BOB’ some new batteries and have a reunion. That will cure my horny cravings
brought on by this arsehole.
‘I forgot to lift something from the safe. So here I am.’ His eyes wander over me slowly and I’m not too
impressed with the way he lingers obviously on the gaping V of the robe at my cleavage, a small
appreciative softening of his expression and I yank it closed and just frown harder.
Pervert!
‘So you ARE leaving again?’ I lift that defiant chin, not about to get all cosy and buddy with a roommate
when he made it clear I wouldn’t have one tonight. I don’t want the company and he would be the last
person I’d choose to spend my night with any day of the week.
What a harsh contrast to the first night we both spent together in this apartment months ago. When I
deliberately dressed to seduce him and he knocked me back.
‘I said I wasn’t staying, didn’t I? I have something to collect. You look like you are settling in, do you
need anything?’ Alexi doesn’t seem as ‘Mr Charm’ as he was earlier, definitely a hint of something in
that tone, a gruffness and tension, harbouring a mood maybe and I just shrug it off and at him.
‘Peace … lack of Italian men in the room. That would suit me.’ I throw him a charming smile with a
sarcastic tone and ignore that flicker of annoyance in that pretty face of his as the softness flutters
away to that cold steel that is more his normal look. Turning back to the source of food and enjoyment
and blank his presence as best I can. I am trying to ignore the way every one of my nerve endings and
senses have hitched to high sensitivity with his presence. I put it down to being scared half witless by
an unannounced appearance.
‘I can take a hint.’ It’s uttered rather sulkily, that husky tone of a bad-tempered Carrero, and I am aware
of him walking off towards his bedroom as I continue my food search, bent over and looking for
something sweeter than fruit. I find nothing to satisfy my craving and go for a full plate of pasta and
salad instead, with a disappointed sigh. Chocolate would have been good. At least I won’t have to do
much of a workout to take this off my hips at any point. I pull the door shut and head for the couch to
get comfortable.
Alexi is only a few minutes before he comes walking back out and I notice his tie is gone, and he’s
sporting a leather jacket over his shirt with the neck open. Waistcoat is gone too. It’s weirdly semi-
casual for a meeting, but he can pull off any look, I guess. A perk of being a smoking hot half Italian
with demon eyes and a jawline that makes most women weep with desire. It’s okay to admit that he will
always do it for me when it comes to attraction, but it doesn’t mean anything. Thinking he’s screwable
isn’t the same as letting him do it.
He throws me a heavy look as he walks past, waving the file at me as if he needs to prove the reason
for his arrival and I just watch him go by, taking a mouthful of food in disinterest; Willing him to just go
away.
He pauses by the door before he opens it and looks back at me like he has something to say, and I
watch him expectantly. Halting mid-chew and raise my eyes towards him as he stands there.
Alexi’s eyes go from mine to the floor in a second and he instantly seems to hesitate; looking back at
me before nodding an awkward goodbye and then just leaves without actually saying a word. I just sit
gawping as the door swings back and clicks closed before me.
It’s the weirdest moment ever, and the fact it’s come from Mr self-assured and confident is even
stranger. It’s almost like he wanted to say something and completely bottled it then legged it before I
noticed. Maybe I am just reading into that too much as I’m tired and a bit wonky headed from being
poorly.
I don’t know what to think about it or if I even imagined it, but he’s gone in a blink and I push it out of
my head as not important.
Whatever that was, be it intentional because with him nothing is ever straightforward, or be it
something else, I am not going to care. When it comes to him, I don’t want to know why he does
anything or whatever little act or mind games he has going on. I’m not the same girl and I know him
better than he likes to think.
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