Alexi starts pushing into me, quick hard thrusts once he knows my body has accommodated to fit him,
and he doesn’t hold back. He fucks me hard, uncontrolled passion as he pushes his weight down on
me and finds my wrist with his own hand, pushing one arm over my head and holding me taut, so he
can control how deep he hits my core. I claw at his shoulder and cling to him with my free arm, trying to
get him as bodily close as I can. I want to taste every inch of him as I lick at his throat, his jawline and
capture his lips for another scorching make-out session. I bite on his lip harshly, holding on for dear life
and moaning as he screws me with a force that has us both panting and gasping for breath. His bed
squeaking and creaking under the effort and I swear it might collapse.
It’s not slow or even adventurous by any means. It’s more of a burning need to quickly be consumed,
and as he impales me harder, bodies getting clammy with exertion and grunts and groans start
overtaking the air. My legs are wrapped around his waist as he pounds me into complete submission,
amid pants and pleasure squeals.
I start coming undone equally fast. Missionary position, at it like horny teens who are trying to annihilate
one another with brute forced sex, but it has to be one of the best moments I have ever had in my life.
He is hitting the very best spot inside of me over and over and I can feel the warmth of my body
soaking him with the evidence.
Alexi grabs my free flailing hand when I try to hold onto something as waves overtake me, sliding his
palms to both of mine and interlacing our fingers as he pins my hands on the bed on either side of my
head. Pushing and thrusting and climbing with me as he lifts himself up, so we are nose to nose.
‘Cum for me baby. I want you to take me with you.’ He breathes in my face, pulling my eyes to his as
we lock on and the gaze intensifies how good it feels. Having those soulless grey eyes almost
overcome with pupils in the darkness of his room, something sizzling between us as I pant and try to
stay with him. I don’t want to look away. I love his eyes, I always have, and right now, they are the
doorway to heaven as he makes me climb higher.
He continues to push me to that high goal of an explosion, not slowing his thrusts or the force of how
hard he’s hitting me inside. It’s beyond crazy good and I swear I may never walk again after this, but it
will be so fucking worth it. Alexi is an actual porn star in the making, and I have never known sex could
be this amazing.
I arch, my body meeting his off the bed and crumble in a scream of ecstasy as everything inside of me
combusts in one showering star-strewn moment of an explosive orgasm. It comes so fast I don’t have
much of a build-up, and as much as he tries to keep my face to his, he has to let me go as my limbs
spasm and my body convulses around him.
He doesn’t stop, pushing through it so that it drags out and lingers, bringing my pleasure past the point
of human capability, and all I can do is cry out and scream his name as my body soaks around him
satisfyingly. He finds his release in my exaggerated climax, gripping my hands tighter so there is a
second of brutal crushing of my little digits, and shudders along with me. Finding his own orgasm inside
of me and igniting a tiny trail of ongoing convulsions between my thighs and up my lower abdomen to
fade out the most mind-blowing thing that has ever happened to me. That was a fifteen plus on the
orgasm scale by any standards.
The last waves of heavy breathing and panting as he slows to a complete stop, before collapsing on
top of me and stills us finally. A clammy pair of bodies in a heap, glistening in the dull light, still
intertwined and connected as he catches his breath.
It was fast … hard … sexy as hell, and right now my body is tingling from my toes to my scalp in the
aftereffects of almost being torn in two in the best way. My inner thighs are drenched with the evidence
of combined pleasure as he slides out of me gently. I know I should get up and clean myself up before
we soil his black bed sheets, yet I literally cannot move. My entire body dies a death from utter sedation
from being so completely satisfied. My legs shaking with it.
Alexi is panting as he lets me go and rolls off me to slump on the bed beside me … both breathing like
we have run a marathon, facing the ceiling in the darkness as we lie apart and try to regulate our
breathing and body heat. I am sweating like a pig, way too hot even though I am lying naked and my
body is zinging all over. There’s isn’t a part of me that is not singing from his attentions.
‘Holy shit.’ It’s all he mutters in a very satisfied sexy and husky tone before he leans in, kisses me on
the temple quickly and then gets up to slide off the bed, before heading to his bathroom and shuts the
door. I guess he has the sense to get cleaned up, seeing as there must be a hell of a lot if how it felt
was anything to go by.
I take a moment to bask in the carefree moments of sated completion. My body feels whole and my
mind and heart are still and content. First time that’s ever happened in my lifetime. My sexual cravings
of the last months finally met; my heart and body playing a crescendo in the aftermath.
Just for a moment. A little carefree, no reality check just yet, second of my calm and guilt free mind.
One tiny pause of happiness.
Before the darkness of a heavy and painful realisation hits me hard like a swift kick in the face, and
sense, no longer lust drugged, comes around to shake me harder than hard. I swallow and focus my
eyes on the roof over me as my heart plummets and nausea begins to swirl at the realisation of what I
have just done.
I let Alexi fuck me … again.
I brought sex to the table, in a relationship that only knows destruction at its hands.
What have I done?
After everything he did, and everything I swore I would never let him do again. I crossed that line to sex
and I just opened the door to his ability to fuck me up all over again. It hits me like a sucker punch in
the stomach as my entire happy mood and tingles give way to crushing self-doubt and the heavy
weight of complete panic once more.
Didn’t I learn anything?
Didn’t I tell myself that when it came to sex he changes and turns on me like a caged beast?
I have been down this road before! When I stupidly thought it wouldn’t change anything and it changed
EVERYTHING.
My heart is no longer slowing from exertion, but pounding and hammering in my chest as fear and the
realisation that he will destroy me all over again hits me hard. It’s what he does. Only this time I’m not
strong enough. I won’t be able to take it twice … this time I can’t.
If I thought I loved him before then it’s a pale comparison to how I feel about him now. It’s nothing like
last time; it’s more all-consuming and much deeper than I ever thought it could go. He’s fed it
somehow; nurtured and made it grow, all while I was telling myself I didn’t care about him. He’s swept
me off the rug once more and manipulated and manoeuvred me into a place where he can ruin me all
over again. And I walked right into it. Like a complete amateur.
I can’t stay here with him.
Terror grips my throat, catapulting my mind and body in synchronised escape mode and I sit up with
the real fear of what I just started. It hits me at full pelt, my body weakening as sweat creeps down my
spine and I look to his bathroom door nervously. The only bright light in the room is coming from the
gap under the door, and I climb off the bed nervously and run for the lounge.
I leave my underwear behind, find my dress on the floor where he left it and pull it over my head in a
hurry. Mind in chaos as my throat dries out and tears sting at my eyes. Heart catapulted into my
stomach and I’m only focused on one thing—running!
If I leave he can’t hurt me again. Get out of his reach … out of his grasp … out of his city this time. Go
further than he will ever find me.
I can’t and won’t let him mess with my head all over again.
My bracelet catches in my hair as I drag it out of my neckline and I gawp at it in horror, pulling it open
instinctively and throw it on the table as though it has burned me. A symbol of his tools and weapons to
get into my heart, and I was stupid not to see it.
He wooed me this time, didn’t force his control on me. He was clever, pulled me close and let me fall all
over again.
I need to break ties with him … now, fast. Before it starts and I’m too weak to run.
He gets inside my mind and I become a willing prisoner so easily. I have no defences once I know he’s
inside of me and now he has all the upper hand. Sex showed him that I still want and need him. It’s all
he needed from me.
I drag myself to my room, grabbing shoes and my bag in blind-eyed desperation, furiously trying to
gather my wits as I clutch my things to my chest and head back out as quickly as I can. I start running
for the apartment door, refusing to look back or take anything else. I just need to go and get far away
from him, to safety. I can start from scratch again, it doesn’t matter.
He can have his club back. He can take everything as long as I get to go and get to stay sane.
My heart is almost bursting through my chest as my body flushes with cold fear and I yank at the door
to get out.
‘Cam? What are you doing?’ His voice hits me like a freight train, and I turn like a deer caught in the
headlights to see him standing at his bedroom door in a pair of boxers, looking at me with an
expression that screams complete confusion. He just looks wounded and stiff and the question in his
face breaks me completely. Abhorred that I should have a completely guilty reaction, thinking I might
hurt him.
That’s how screwed up he has made me.
I start to cry properly, not sure why, but it’s what hits me first as I tremble visibly in front of him; All my
scars on show.
‘I have to go … this was a mistake,’ I blurt out, voice strained and all over the place, gasping for air and
he just frowns at me more deeply.
‘What are you talking about? Why do you have to go?’ It’s not exactly the unemotional deadpan that I
am expecting, it’s more that of a hurt child and I know it’s starting already; getting inside my head,
working on me to knock me down.
‘We don’t work … you and I … this is how it starts. Sex ruins everything and I can’t do it again. I won’t
survive you a second time.’ My hands are shaking as I cling to my shoes and force them against myself
so harshly, they start to bruise and hurt my breasts. Gripping so my knuckles turn white and I can’t
keep my eyes on his. Boring into me intensely and I start to falter, my body turning weak as I get dizzy.
Alexi’s face crumbles, and he loses all hints of Carrero confidence, leaving the look of someone I have
never seen before; A face that seems to show hints of real emotional turmoil and pain. Real upset.—A
play at acting like he cares.
‘It’s not like that this time. Just give me a chance to explain.’ He sounds as broken as me and I try to
shake it away. I know it’s a lie, an act, a game to him, but yet, my heart breaks in two and I weep
pathetically, showing him all my vulnerabilities and playing right into his hands.
Stupid, stupid girl. I am falling into the rabbit’s hole once more, and he will chew me up and spit me out.
‘Don’t! This is what you do!’ I whimper back at him, clawing at my hair near my temple, prodding myself
in the head with a finger manically, looking crazy, messed up on so many levels. I’m scared of him for
what he has the potential to do to me. That silver tongue and insane ability he possesses to overpower
my soul.
‘You get inside my head and fuck me up … you make me think one thing and then rip me apart with
another. You push me to desperate levels where the only option I see to get out is a bad one.’ I clutch
at my hair and make grabbing motions over the side of my head, like I am trying to pull out my own
brain as I try to reel in the control. Eyes blurry with the tears falling down my face and I can feel my
knees giving way under my own weight. Body powerless and at breaking point. It won’t take much for
him to strike me down again; so effortless to break me a second time.
Alexi makes a move towards me, shaking his head solemnly, but I jump back, clutching my bag and
shoes harder against me, so they start to really hurt me a lot with the pressure I am forcing them
against me with, a sign of my sheer petrified state.
I’m terrified of him.
He can hurt me in ways no one ever could and this time … I invited it.
Idiot Camilla. Stupid, fucking idiot.
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