Alexi is acting differently, treating me differently. Yet, he is still the same as he always was to everyone
else. Seeing glimpses of him like this is seeing glimpses into the person he is around Mico and his
family when no one is around to be Mafia King for. The person Mico will openly question and argue with
in private. Not the sadistic overbearing arsehole he is in public with him.
The club is sparse right now because of the time of day and all the people in here are either non-
important tenders or Carrero men on security detail. Carreros he knows well, mostly. Alexi is relaxed
and off guard and not keeping up the manner of brooding Boss. He’s blanking me, but yet not bothering
to put on any act with me in the room either.
This can’t just be about running his club, can it?
Watching him joke and laugh with his cousin reminds me of this morning, before I put him in a foul
mood. Seeing hints of humour and good vibes I wonder if I have crossed some weird line into his inner
circle; that secret club, which his brother and cousins belong to, and possibly Sophie and that girl from
his apartment that never saw the demon in him. Seeing the second layer to his personality that stays
hidden from anyone he doesn’t trust and realising I crossed over somehow. I’m seeing hints of why the
women in his family think he’s someone else. Why they like him.
It’s mind-blowing.
Alexi only lets family in, so I’m not sure if I am even close to being right. I’m not his friend, not someone
he needs to let in to run his club, and he definitely doesn’t trust me. I’m overthinking this. I must be.
He’s maybe just having a good day and kicking back a little. I maybe just never saw it before, when I
was all caught up in matters of the heart and fighting him every step of the way. I just cannot shake the
thought that this means something in regard to him and me.
When he gave me the gun, he said, ‘I trust you.’ and I dismissed it because, to be honest, all he does is
mess with your head and play games.
Nothing he ever says should be taken as gospel. I ignored it because I thought he was trying to
manoeuvre me to do what he wanted, but sitting here now, watching him, it’s like a little light bulb going
off.
These months apart, something in him stopped and re-evaluated me for whatever reason, and I am yet
to find out what happened in my absence. Something made him rethink bringing me back and now it
hits home that maybe he has started to believe he can really trust me. I know he didn’t before. He told
me as much. Sat here, thinking this through, I realise that his whole opinion of what and who he
thought I was has genuinely been altered. He wasn’t lying when he said it.
Alexi looks at me differently now. I just don’t know why.
I don’t know how to feel about that, it’s like being hit by a cold blast of icy water in the face, completely
unexpected. I am not getting a new and reformed Alexi at all. I am getting the side to him that people
like Sophie get to see, only still with the added lingering Boss complex. He may not have strong
feelings for me in the way I had for him, but he has changed his attitude on what he thinks of me and
this is the result. I think Alexi is potentially trying to let me in under his mask. He’s trying to make
amends in his weird, overbearing and controlling arsehole way.
He won’t punish me for earlier … I am confident of that now that I’m really dissecting this. It’s why he
keeps simmering before reacting towards me. He’s trying to treat me differently than he did before. The
pauses and looking away, clenching his jaw – all signs of thinking before he acts towards me. All hints
that he is trying to be different ….for me.
‘Alexi! It’s Gino.’ Jackson calls out to him across the floor, pulling my brain back to the present and all
of us turn and look up to see Mr Smiley himself walking in the front door, beaming from ear to ear and
my heart sinks. All my thoughts fluttering away like paper on the breeze at this demonic shit stirrer
walking in.
He’s good at goading his brother, he gets off on it, and so I am staying out of the way. I value my health
and I don’t want a return of possessive crazy in Alexi when Gino tries to rile him. He’s already angry at
me and giving me the obvious cold shoulder, so I don’t want to antagonise that.
Even if he is treating me differently, he is pissed as hell and still capable of ripping me down with words
and vile looks. What he did to Joanne is proof of that. She is probably upstairs sobbing into her own
lap, and even though I dislike her immensely, I can empathise with how that feels. Alexi can make you
feel worthless with absolute minimal effort and doesn’t even break a sweat over it. I doubt he has ever
experience remorse, to be honest.
‘Hey all … Was passing and thought I would check in to see if you were here.’ Gino is dressed pretty
much identically to Alexi, and it’s kind of weird, seeing them even more like bookends. Even the choice
of colours they have on is the same. Black and turquoise t-shirts over washed out jeans with white
trainers. I wonder if that’s a weird twin thing, drawn to the same kinds of clothes, colours … and cars. I
wonder if it extends to women and try to visualise what his girlfriend must look like. It would be a hint to
Alexi’s type I guess, so maybe I don’t want to know.
Alexi gets up and embraces him in a manly hug and Mico follows suit. Seeing them acting like normal
men, greeting each other warmly, makes me gawp and just enforces the fact he isn’t putting on any
show for me being here. He doesn’t care if I see this side to him anymore.
I have entered an alternate reality—one in which Alexi has a human side and knows how to smile. And
hug. And be nice.
Ewwww!
‘Red!!!’ Gino barks my name happily and I flinch, dropping my pen as I jump and realise I have been
staring into space as I thought this out. I recoil into my seat when he moves towards me at speed,
trying to get away from him before he pounces on me.
‘Look at you, all Miss Official and serious. What’s he got you doing? Books? Paperwork? You look very
pretty today and it’s awesome to see you back.’ Gino is killing me with over-enthusiastic friendliness
and I lean back away from him when he swoops in to give me an awkward hug.
‘No touching,’ I yelp at him defensively, raising my palms, momentarily phased by the resemblance to
Alexi and automatically spitting it out at him.
I catch Alexi raise a brow at me across the room, no hint of anything readable, and Gino moves back
bursting out in a cheesy grin.
‘Ouch … What you done to piss her off, Lex? Even the lookalikes are getting a no go warning.’ He
laughs, jesting, and I right myself in my seat and smooth down my dress in a bid to not act rattled.
‘She’s mad at me for yelling at her,’ Alexi answers smoothly, watching me without a flicker of remorse
or emotion and I just stare straight back at him, mirroring his expression. I won’t back down or show
him he got to me and left me feeling upset all day over a row.
Also, maybe the fact that a long while ago he pretty much told me to never let Gino touch me, in a very
psychotic way, and despite not belonging to him now, it’s still in the back of my mind on some level.
I won’t rock that boat.
‘Maybe I just don’t think men should assume women are for touching whenever they see fit,’ I retort
haughtily, aiming my remark at him, and that gets a smile from Mico this time. Dodging the real issue
between us and going back to me answering Gino. Alexi frowns so deeply I’m sure a growl must
accompany it.
Touching is a real sore point with him today.
‘I have to agree with her on that one,’ Mico laughs as Alexi throws him a foul glare too, and then hits
the back of his hand into Mico’s abdomen, making him flinch. Childishly boyish and acting like a regular
human being.
I think I must be high or something— this cannot be real.
‘No one asked you, asshole.’ Alexi mock snaps at him and Mico just shakes his head knowingly,
seemingly on the ‘in’ about that detail between us. It’s weird knowing that he has confided the terms of
our arrangement to Mico, but I guess being his second in command is a sign he may also be his
closest friend and completely in his trust. More so than his twin in some cases it seems.
‘What have you been yelling at Red for this time?’ Gino saunters back to Alexi and shoves him
backwards so he lands his butt back on the stool ungracefully and throws a swing at Gino with his foot.
Gino dodges it expertly and tries for a palm slap at Alexi’s head; he’s faster and ducks out of range. It’s
typical male aggressive carry-on between brothers but the fact that Alexi is in the midst of it has me
feeling like I might be hallucinating. He just looks so … normal.
‘Piss off. She sometimes needs yelling at. She’s a walking disaster who has no concept of personal
safety!’ He turns his back on me on the stool and grabs Gino in a headlock, pulling him with him and
the pair burst into an immature wrestling match for a few minutes before Mico pulls them apart with a
heavy sigh.
‘Stop being assholes, move. I want to sit down.’ Mico shoves Gino over and sits between them like
some referee or father figure, and pushes Gino again when he leans back trying to take a flick at
Alexi’s head. Alexi is faster and catches his hand, giving it a twist before Mico can stop them. Gino
muffles a yelp and swats him off.
‘Will you two stop that! I swear sometimes you two need to be muzzled.’ Dad voice on and he
aggressively shoves them both apart, to stop the shenanigans. I am guessing this is not new at all and
Mico is used to acting as middleman between the two.
I can’t do anything but stare, weirdly out of my mind with the craziness of what I am watching. Alexi just
regressed twenty years in the space of five minutes, and this guy sitting here … complete stranger to
me. I feel like I don’t know him at all. Gino too … Mr smooth and smiley … both of them.
Juvenile little boys and I have to practically push my eyes back in from popping out of my head. I can
guarantee no one outside of the Carrero inner circle gets to see this behaviour.
Who the hell is this person?
‘Dickhead.’ Both of them say it in the same tone at the same time, to each other, with the same
unamused expression, as they glare across at one another behind Mico’s back; Completely identical
bookends.
This time, without thought, just a simple reaction, I impulsively giggle out loud at the craziness of it …
Twins for sure.
Alexi casts a glance back my way, his expression softening towards me as we connect intensely, a
strange weird buzz of something in that look that makes my heart flutter unexpectedly across the room
and then I look away quickly—suddenly engulfed in unexpected shyness, and my cheeks warm in a
blush. Heart rate ups the ante and I forget how to breathe.
What the hell was that?
It's the sudden warmth after being stressed all day over him being mad at me. A stupid reaction to him
letting it go a little.
It makes me pipe down and I hide my reaction by burying my face back in my file as heat envelops my
entire body. Not wanting to draw any more attention from him.
‘Go kiss and make up. Stop giving her the Alexi cold shoulder. It’s obvious you want to,’ Gino goads
him immaturely, not backing down, being his usual prick self and I glance up in annoyance, throwing
him shade. Not sure I like him pushing this point. I know Alexi is still stewing over his anger at me, and
Gino should leave it alone. I don’t appreciate his jokes, or him trying to cajole Alexi to do anything in
relation to me, certainly not kissing … definitely not while I’m sensitive suddenly to his every move and
response. I feel like everything inside of me just hit high alert.
‘Can’t … she doesn’t want me to touch her, so I’ll stay over here and piss you off instead.’ Alexi’s eyes
run over me for a second time, slowly and deliberately, burning my entire body as though I was just
scorched by the sun with that loaded look before turning away. I recognise that look. It’s what I feel
every time he gets too close. The physical undressing with mind alone.
The attraction is still there for both of us; despite everything … it’s sobering in a way.
He actually sounded sarcastic mad rather than raging mad at that one. A haughty tone to his voice,
hurt boy mood, and it was said loud enough that he wanted me to hear him.
Alexi is sulking, and I guess the touching rule is getting to him more than I gave it credit for. Makes
sense if he is walking around horny, as much as I am.
Meanwhile, I am sat here sizzling inside with weird random emotions, high pulse rate and breathless
for no apparent reason other than it has to be sex based. I feel like he just ravaged me with a look.
‘What she do?’
Gino again, and I feel like I might tear my hair out. I can’t stand it anymore. I get up causing chaos with
my papers due to trembling hands and grab at them as they go flying in every direction; Making a show
of leaving them to it as I evacuate clumsily. I’m not sticking around for this and I need to get away from
him so I can stop acting like an overwrought oddball. BOB and I have a date tonight for sure. I am
going to self-pleasure the Alexi right out of me.
‘None of your fucking business,’ Alexi snaps, seemingly aware of my impending departure as he
glances my way again, eyes connecting once more and I almost feel my knees give out with the way
we hit on contact … sizzling my blood to soaring levels. I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I
should get the hell away from him and the warning that Gino is pissing him off. Mico puts a hand on
Gino’s shoulder and gives him a shake.
‘Enough. Don’t poke the bear.’
My sentiments exactly.
I don’t hang around to see where this is going and walk on, unsteady jelly legs, past all three of them
perched along my marble bar, out of the club and into the lobby without looking their way. I would rather
not witness him building to volcanic levels and planning my demise because of it, or show him that he
has had some weird all-consuming effect on my nervous system that I cannot explain.
Sex has a lot to answer for!
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