Chapter 171 - Your Good Friend: His Highness’ Small Account Has Come Online
Translated by Eve
Edited by Serefina
14. Your Good Friend: His Highness’ Small Account Has Come Online
Xiao Yan’s expression froze in that instant. It felt like the flow of his blood was reversing direction, causing his body to go cold…. Was this Xie He’s answer? He could have asked for anything, given the gravity of what he had done…but did Xie He really not think of himself? All he wanted was to just see Song Heng once more…. In Xie He’s eyes, was seeing Song Heng once more important than his own life?!
Xie He took in Xiao Yan’s taut expression and silence. He hid the disappointment in his eyes and forced out a smile. “Is it too difficult to do? Sorry…just pretend I never mentioned it.”
Xiao Yan gazed deeply into Xie He’s eyes, a fierce struggle within his own. He knew that all he had to do was tell Xie He he couldn’t do it, and Xie He wouldn’t insist on it…. However, he couldn’t bear to see the dejection in Xie He’s eyes.
A long time later, Xiao Yan slowly said, “I can take you.”
Xie He’s eyelashes trembled. He stared at Xiao Yan, dazedly. “R-Really?”
Xiao Yan nodded slowly, voice hoarse. “Really.”
His lower jaw was clenched tight and the shred of happiness on his face had disappeared without a trace. All that was left was a sense of helplessness. This was what Xie He wanted in return. He had told Xie He that he would do whatever he wanted.
Xie He’s eyes finally lit up. He sat up, struggling to get off the bed.
Xiao Yan promptly went over to support him. With a low voice, he said, “Don’t move. I’ll carry you.”
As he said this, he gathered Xie He into his arms and once again scaled the walls of the wangfu. Meanwhile, the guards of the wangfu didn’t know why His Highness was making such a scene. Why didn’t he just walk out the front door? Why bother going over the walls? Nonetheless, they pretended not to notice.
Xie He left the wangfu feeling nervous. He was carried by Xiao Yan into a carriage. Shortly after, they stopped outside of Song Heng’s home. With Xiao Yan’s assistance, Xie He walked in.
Xiao Yan gave Xie He a walking stick and said in a heavy tone, “Go. I’ll wait for you outside.”
Xie He said, “I’ll have to trouble Yan dage to wait a bit. I’ll be back soon.”
Xiao Yan nodded, expression stiff. He watched as Xie He staggered into Song Heng’s home and then secretly went to climb onto a large tree just outside the residence’s walls. He didn’t feel at ease letting Xie He and Song Heng meet alone! He had to see it with his own eyes!
Xie He walked to Song Heng’s door and gently knocked, the look on his face complicated. Shortly after, the door opened. It was Song Heng’s page that opened the door. When he saw that it was Xie He, he was astonished. He stammered for a while, unable to speak for a moment. “It’s you. How did you get back?”
Xie He said in a quiet, soft voice, “I came to see Daren.”
The page let Xie He in and then glanced around to ensure no one saw this before closing the door hastily. He said to Xie He, “Daren is in the rear courtyard. You’ve been on his mind this whole time. Quickly, go see him.”
Xie He went to the rear courtyard and saw Song Heng staring into space as he stood underneath a tree. In the days since they’ve last met, the other’s complexion had become haggard and he had grown stubble. Xie He’s heart ached terribly and his eyes stung. He walked over with quiet steps and called out, “Daren….”
Song Heng turned around and looked at Xie He, his face full of disbelief. He suddenly wondered if he was dreaming. He stood there, dumbfounded, for a long time, before he abruptly pulling Xie He into a tight hug! His voice was hoarse. “You’re back.”
Xie He choked with emotion. “Yes, I’m back.”
Song Heng’s arms tightened around Xie He’s slender frame, his voice shaking as he spoke. “I thought that I’d never see you again.”
When Xie He heard Song Heng say this, the tears couldn’t be held back. Back then, they had parted so abruptly. He too had thought that they would never get to meet again…. Unfortunately, Xie He could not stay. It had been so hard getting His Highness to agree to let Song Heng off. If he were to act recklessly, Song Heng’s life may end up endangered again.
Therefore, he had only planned to come here today to say goodbye.
Xie He looked at Song Heng. There was a trace of love in his eyes. He quietly said, “It’s my fault for not having told Daren these things before. I caused you so much trouble. From now on, I cannot serve Daren anymore, so Daren must take good care of yourself….”
When Song Heng heard this, his expression changed. “You…you can’t stay?”
Xie He shook his head, tone powerless and aggrieved. “I cannot stay here.”
Song Heng had gone to prison and back. He already knew a lot about what was going on. Immediately, anger appeared on his face. “It’s Prince Su, isn’t it? He bought you. He tormented you like that and still isn’t willing to let you go! Will he not stop until you’re dead?!”
When Song Heng recalled Xie He’s body that had been full of scars, even just by looking at it, he could guess what kind of torture Xie He must have endured. The person he loved so dearly had been sold to the wangfu…but he hadn’t been treated as a person. He had suffered the worst levels of abuse. That Prince Su was truly coldhearted and cruel. He was tyrannical and brutal!
Xie He cast his eyes down. “That is my fate. Daren, do not forget, I’m nothing but a servant of the wangfu. His Highness can treat me however he wishes.”
He looked very calm, as if that torture that had been inflicted on him wasn’t even worth mentioning.
Song Heng’s heart hurt so badly. Although Xie He was right, how could Prince Su be so cruel as to hurt an innocent person like this? If Xie He were to return to the wangfu, he might die. Going back meant he would be walking towards his death!
That moment, Song Heng made a decision. He stared at Xie He and said, “Let’s run away. I’ll take you away, away from the Capital, away from here…to somewhere no one can find us.”
Xie He froze. He looked at Song Heng, incredulous. Song Heng was willing to give up everything he had worked so hard to obtain for his sake? To run away to a faraway place and live in exile?
No, how could he let that happen…? He knew how talented Song Heng was. The other was the magnificent top scorer. His prospects were boundless. How could he let the other waste ten years of arduous study for him, a lowly courtesan? Xie He’s lips shook as he said, “No, I can’t go with you.”
Song Heng said, “Why?”
Xie He gazed at him affectionately. He suddenly tilted his head upwards and placed a soft kiss on Song Heng’s lips.
Song Heng froze in place. He didn’t know how to react.
Xie He smiled. His kiss was fleeting, like a dragonfly’s touch against the water. His beautiful eyes glistened and his voice was soft. “I don’t want you to sacrifice so much for me. I want to see you safe and sound, to see you be a good official in the future. I want to see you realize your dreams and aspirations. I hope that you will live well&#k2026;.”
Because I love you, I don’t want you to lose everything for my sake.
Now that I know how you feel for me, I can die without any regrets.
Song Heng understood what Xie He was saying, but how could he watch the person he loved walk to his death? How could Prince Su ever pardon him? Song Heng gripped Xie He’s wrist tightly and stressed, “I won’t let you go back.”
Xiao Yan stood atop of the tree situated outside the wall, his face ashen. He had nearly ground his teeth to dust. Xie He was obviously his but he had to watch as Xie He acted in a romantic, heartbreaking farewell with another man while he peeped at them secretly, as if he was a thief!
However, when he saw Xie He kiss Song Heng, his rage reached its peak. He wanted to dismember Song Heng’s body! Xiao Yan’s hand on the tree trunk flexed, splintering the wood. You dare touch Benwang’s person?!
Seeing that Song Heng seemed ignorant of his place, as he refused to let go of Xie He, he finally couldn’t stop himself from jumping down!
Song Heng didn’t expect for a fiendish-looking man to suddenly jump in from the outside. That man looked at him like he wanted to kill Song Heng. Song Heng paled with fright. “Who are you?!”
Xiao Yan’s gaze was cold as he stared at Song Heng. Every word felt like they had to be forced out between his teeth. “I came to take Yuan Jin back.”
Song Heng immediately pulled Xie He behind him, glaring at Xiao Yan with red eyes. He spat in a voice full of hatred, “You’re one of Prince Su’s men? You’ll only be able to take him away from here over my dead body!”
Xiao Yan gnashed his teeth so hard one could almost hear them grinding. His reason nearly failed him as his eyes took on a bloody light. Allowing Xie He to come see Song Heng once was already the greatest concession he’d make. And yet, Song Heng actually wanted to push it and make Xie He stay! Then I’ll go ahead and step right over your corpse!
Xiao Yan could not control the murderous desire in his chest. Jealousy and rage burned straight through his reason!
Xie He didn’t think Xiao Yan would suddenly appear like this. Looking at the other’s frightening appearance, confusion painted Xie He’s face. He trembled and timidly asked, “Y-Yan dage…what’s wrong?”
Xiao Yan was on the brink of losing all reason and was pushing forward, with his hand tightly gripping the sword attached to his waist. When he heard Xie He call his name, he couldn’t help but turn to look at the other. What he saw was Xie He, staring at him, scared. That look of fear was all too familiar…. This was how Xie He usually looked at him, like he thought Xiao Yan would kill him at any time…. It was like a bucket of cold water had splashed down over his head.
If he could not control himself, even this identity would be loathed by Xie He….
He was a calm, rational man by nature. But he had lost control of himself today. It was truly a rare occurrence.
Xiao Yan’s irises were like swirling, dark ink. Song Heng was in a protective stance in front of Xie He and Xie He was shaking like a startled quail. The two of them were looking at him like he was the enemy…. If they knew who he really was, wouldn’t they be even more afraid? Xiao Yan felt like thousands of arrows had shot through his heart, but he pretended that nothing happened. He didn’t want to lose the last bit of Xie He’s trust that he had….
A moment later, Xiao Yan slowly let go of his sword and spoke, the emotions in his voice shoved down. “It’s late. We should head back.”
Only then did Xie He realize how much time had passed. If they didn’t go back now and ended up getting caught by His Highness, they’d be toast. He said to Song Heng, “Don’t misunderstand, Yan dage is not one of His Highness’ men. He only came to help me. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have been able to come see you today. But…I have to leave now.”
Song Heng stopped looking at Xiao Yan with a gaze filled with hostility when he heard Xie He say this. However, he was still unwilling to let go. He said, “I won’t let you go. If you go, Prince Su will torture you to death!”
The vein in Xiao Yan’s forehead bulged. He couldn’t help but say, “How do you know that? Don’t utter nonsense!”
Song Heng looked at Xie He with tenderness and love. He told Xiao Yan, “If you saw the wounds on Xiao Ning’s body, you would know what had happened. I will not watch him go to his death.”
Xiao Yan’s rage burst through the heavens! Song Heng had even laid eyes on Xie He’s body?! Scoundrel! He deserved to die! Xiao Yan had to kill him!
Seeing Song Heng so adamant over him, Xie He was moved to tears. However, he had already decided that he would not implicate Song Heng anymore in his affairs. Softly, he said, “Daren, I am unworthy of you. Forget about me.”
Song Heng said, “How could I forget about you?”
Xie He sighed and threw off Song Heng’s hold, enduring the pain in his heart. He said to Xiao Yan, “Yan dage, take me back.”
Once he got Xie He’s permission, Xiao Yan had no desire to endure any longer. He walked over and took Xie He in his arms. Seeing that Xiao Yan was about to take Xie He away, he panicked, running over to take Xie He back. “Put him down!”
Xiao Yan wanted to kill Song Heng but he was afraid of angering Xie He. Therefore, he held back and only kicked Song Heng down. Song Heng was just a weak scholar. He was no match for Xiao Yan. He could only watch helplessly as Xiao Yan took Xie He away. Both eyes were red and his voice was hoarse. “Xiao Ning….”
Pain filled Song Heng’s eyes. He was so useless. He couldn’t even protect the person he loved. He really couldn’t resign himself to this conclusion.
【Ding, Song Heng’s Favourability Value +5. The current Favourability Value is 100.】
Xie He squeezed Xiao Yan’s arm while casting a look towards Song Heng, clearly reluctant to leave the other. But in the end, he didn’t say a thing. He let Xiao Yan carry him away.
Xiao Yan helped Xie He into the carriage. When he read the sorrow and sadness in the other’s eyes, his heart ached terribly. There was nowhere for him to vent the jealousy in his chest. All that came out of his mouth was, “I think…Prince Su won’t kill you. Didn’t you say he treats you well?”
Although Xie He didn’t trust that Xiao Yan was being sincere, at the very least, Xiao Yan really did treat him as well as he could….
The sorrow receded from Xie He’s eyes and a self-deprecating smile bloomed on his face. His voice was quiet. “Yan dage, sorry. I lied to you.”
Xiao Yan’s eyes darkened and he slowly said, “He doesn’t treat you well?”
Xie He laughed quietly, seemingly not too keen on saying much more. He just said, “His Highness’s kindness…is not something someone like me can enjoy.”
Xiao Yan’s gaze bore into Xie He’s eyes. There was faint grief accompanied by a sense of helplessness in those eyes. Xiao Yan had made one mistake, and no matter how much he wanted to make up for it, he would never be able to get back what had been lost….
But…I can’t let you go…I can’t let you go.
Even if you like someone else, even if you don’t love me, you must still stay by my side. Only like that will I be able to love you and touch you.
Xiao Yan brought Xie He back to the wangfu and settled him onto the bed. He wanted to say something but hesitated. In the end, he just said, “I’ll come see you on another day.”
Xie He shook his head and said with a smile, “You really don’t have to come again. You’ve done me a huge favour today. You don’t owe me anymore. My conscience won’t be able to take it if you were to be hurt because of me.”
Xiao Yan clenched his fist and said, “Don’t worry about me. I…nothing will happen to me.”
He was afraid Xie He would refuse him again and immediately left through the window.
Xiao Yan returned to his study and smashed his fist down on his desk. Only when he was alone did he no longer have to suppress his emotions. Here, he didn’t have to swallow down his anger, jealousy and pain. He sat there, unmoving, for a long time. He then pulled out the jade pendant from inside the lapels on his clothes.
Today, he had gone to see Xie He. He had originally planned to regift this to Xie He but…he hadn’t had the chance. He gently caressed the jade pendant in his hands and shut his eyes. When he opened his eyes again, he placed the pendant back into the drawer, changed his clothes, and headed back.
………………………………
【444：……】
【Xie He：Baby, what’s wrong?】
【444：Oh…nothing.】He just felt that Xiao Yan had probably exploded from anger today. His willpower was extraordinary. _(:зゝ∠)_ He was worthy of being someone capable of participating in this major power struggle….
【Xie He：Don’t worry, Baby, we’re just getting started. Smile.JPG】
【444：…What?】
【Xie He：For the sake of building XiaoXiao’s willpower, I won’t be stingy and will personally guide him. Today was nothing. His final goal is to become a godly turtle. 】
【444：……】
【Xie He：He must continue to persist. 🙂 】
【444：O(∩_∩)O~】
Xiao Yan did not return to his room until nightfall. Seeing Xie He sitting on the bed quietly, he walked over and said, “I came back late today. Aren’t you hungry? Why didn’t you dine first?”
Xie He timidly glanced at Xiao Yan. He was terribly frightened, thinking about what he’d done today. He was afraid that Xiao Yan would find out. He stammered, “I-It’s fine. Nu…dares not. Nu obviously must wait until Your Highness returns.”
Xiao Yan’s eyes darkened. Xie He really couldn’t act. He was only making it more obvious that he felt guilty. Unfortunately, Xiao Yan still had to pretend he didn’t notice. He did his best to keep his tone level. “I told you before, you don’t have to wait for me.”
Xie He’s face paled. “Nu understands….”
Xiao Yan felt helpless. No matter what he said, Xie He would always comply. However, he never dared to overstep any boundaries. If Xiao Yan hadn’t come back, Xie He wouldn’t have dared to eat anything. Xiao Yan sighed and instructed his servants to serve dinner. He then gently carried Xie He to the table and settled him next to himself.
Every day, Xie He would eat at the same table as Xiao Yan. He was always scared out of his wits. He never dared to eat much. He would only ever carefully eat what was in front of him.
Xie He’s body was frail. Xiao Yan was afraid that Xie He wouldn’t eat well. He disliked those slow-witted servants. He thought they lacked the ability to make discerning judgements. Therefore, he didn’t have the servants wait on them. He personally took care of Xie He as he ate. He would pick up food and put it into Xie He’s bowl. He’d pay attention to what Xie He would eat more of, what expressions the other would make when he ate it, and whether he would furrow his brows. He pondered over all of Xie He’s preferences and would then eliminate dishes Xie He didn’t like from the menu. All that would be left would be what Xie He liked.
After dinner, Xiao Yan held Xie He to sleep, as always. He softly wrapped his arms around Xie He. The body beneath his touch was thin and bony…. How had he been able to bear letting the other suffer torture back then…?
Actually, it wasn’t that Xiao Yan hadn’t liked Xie He back then. It was just that his fondness for the other hadn’t been deep enough—he had been able to put it down for the sake of the bigger picture. If he had known that Xie He was the saviour he had always been dreaming of, or if he had known that one day, he would love Xie He this much…then even if it would have become infinitely more difficult, even if he would have ended up in a deadlock with the Crown Prince, he would never have been willing to abandon Xie He.
Xiao Yan tilted his head down, peering at Xie He’s face. The long eyelashes cast faint shadows on that pale, pretty face. The pair of red, beautiful, tender lips beneath his refined nose were plump and glistened.
Xiao Yan stared at Xie He’s lips, recalling the gaze full of love Xie He had directed towards Song Heng, as well as the gentle, loving kiss he had planted on the scholar’s lips. Jealousy sank its venomous fangs into his heart. He couldn’t help but lower his head and kiss the other deeply…. It was like he was marking his prey. The kiss was lingering and full of yearning. He wanted to cover up the taste of the other man! He wanted to declare his ownership of this person with this kiss!
Xie He was awoken by Xiao Yan’s kiss. His body stiffened but he didn’t dare move. He let Xiao Yan kiss him.
Only when Xiao Yan began to undress him did panic flash through his eyes.
When Xiao Yan saw Xie He’s body…the once smooth, exquisite, and flawless skin was now marked by scars. The scars were ugly, stretching across his body looking like a centipede had taken root. When he touched the skin, it was rough and bumpy. Xiao Yan gently caressed the scars…. Even with his eyes closed, he knew what had caused each one. This one was a whip…this one was the branding iron….
These scars were like his mistakes. They could never be erased. They would always remind him of his sins.
He had hurt the person he loved most. The person he should have protected.
But…there was no way to undo this. Xiao Yan shut his eyes. He concealed his pain and planted soft kisses on the scars.
If he could, he was willing to go back and suffer everything on Xie He’s behalf. He would transfer these wounds onto his own body…. But he couldn’t.
【Ding, the target Xiao Yan’s Favourability Value +2. The current Favourability Value is 94.】
Xie He’s body shook and his voice trembled. “Your Highness…don’t look.”
Xiao Yan looked up, gazing into Xie He’s eyes.
He could see that Xie He felt inferior. The other quietly pleaded. “Nu’s body is ugly and unclean. Nu is afraid that it will dirty Your Highness’ eyes….”
Xiao Yan felt like his heart was bleeding. A self-deprecating smile painted his face…. That’s right. Song Heng hadn’t been wrong. Anyone who saw Xie He’s body would know what he had done to Xie He. They would think him coldhearted and cruel….
He softly stroked Xie He’s cheek. What should I do to make you believe me?
A long time later, Xiao Yan gently said, “It won’t.”
He redressed Xie He and held him in his arms, palm against the back of Xie He’s head as his fingers gently interlocked with Xie He’s black hair. He said, “Sleep.”
………………………………
Xie He slept in. He woke up feeling refreshed. The only thing that made him unhappy was the lack of sex.
【Xie He：XiaoXiao acting like this won’t do, ah. He’s actually turning his back on me for being ugly. Hehe.】
【444：……】No, no, no, it’s really not that he’s turning his back on you.…_(:зゝ∠)_
【Xie He：I have no problem with him forcing me to stay, but I can’t tolerate him making me a grass widow. Smile.JPG】
【444：……】
Xiao Yan left during the day as usual. Today, however, he came back rather early. He secretly peeked at Xie He for a while. He thought that if he were to appear right now, Xie He would start to feel really troubled and nervous. He thus disguised his face and pretended to jump over the wall.
Xie He was indeed not afraid, seeing him like this. He only looked shocked. He then rebuked him, “I said that you didn’t have to come anymore. Why did you come?”
Xiao Yan’s tone was firm. “I told you, I won’t be at ease if I don’t see for myself that you’re doing well. I can’t let Prince Su bully you.”
Xie He had originally felt distressed, but he couldn’t help but laugh upon hearing this. “You can control Prince Su?”
Xiao Yan nodded, “Don’t look down on me.”
Xie He looked at him seriously. “OK, OK, I know you’re amazing. But if you always barge in like this, what are you going to do if you’re caught one day? It was so difficult saving you back then. If you die because of this, wouldn’t all my efforts go to waste?”
Xiao Yan looked into Xie He’s eyes, recalling the other’s kind and sweet heart. His chest filled with pain. He said, “That won’t happen.”
Xie He couldn’t do anything about him. He was also really worried that Xiao Yan would be caught, so he pulled the other with him and hid behind an unremarkable fake hill. Actually, he was always scared and on edge like he was walking on thin ice when he was in the wangfu. How could he not want a person he could speak to and rely on? He was just worried about the other getting hurt. That had been why he had always persuaded Xiao Yan to leave.
Seeing that Xiao Yan wouldn’t leave no matter how he tried to convince him, Xie He gave up. He looked at Xiao Yan, slowly losing himself to his thoughts. He couldn’t help but recall what had happened so long ago…. the dusty memories he had purposely forgotten all burst forward, fighting to be the first to emerge.
Back then, he had not led such a lowly life….
Xie He suppressed the bitterness in his throat and turned to ask Xiao Yan a question. “Say, why had you been injured back then anyway?”
When Xiao Yan saw that Xie He was finally willing to open his heart and speak to him, he grew excited. He answered, “My brother sent someone to assassinate me because he was afraid that I’d fight over the family property with him.”
Xie He’s lovely eyes flashed with anger. He huffed, infuriated, “That’s going too far!”
Xiao Yan nodded. “Luckily I met you. Otherwise, I would have died.”
Xie He asked, concerned, “What about now? Does your brother still want to kill you?”
Xiao Yan said, “He’s never given up on killing me. However, I won’t be that careless again. Things won’t go smoothly for him.”
Xie He sighed in relief and said, “That’s good.”
Xiao Yan watched Xie He with affection in his eyes. His heart felt sweet, but there was a complicated emotion mixed in with it. This scene was one that had played out countless times in his dreams: his finding his saviour, his saviour being a wonderful, kindhearted person, their talking like this…. He could tell Xie He things he couldn’t tell anyone else. He imagined it making him so happy. He had looked forward to it.
Xiao Yan could not resist grabbing hold of Xie He’s hand. He earnestly said, “I searched for you for so long…. I waited for you for so long. You don’t know how happy I am to see you again.”
Xie He’s face flushed slightly and he pulled his hand back at once. He said, uneasy, “Oh.”
He paused. It looked like he was recalling some painful memories. His face paled and he forced a smile. “Something happened to my family back then so that’s why you never found me….”
Xiao Yan’s eyes dimmed when he caught Xie He’s expression. Even if Xie He didn’t talk about it, he could almost see the despair that must’ve been on the youth’s face back then, when his family had been ruined. The short-lived happiness was covered by the icy pain. If Xie He knew that it had been Xiao Yan’s fault that he had ended up here…he would probably hate him….
Right now, the trust and smiles he had now were obtained through trickery. But he could not stop himself. He would continue to lie.
The author has something to say:
I can only say that there was no meat last chapter, not even a bit. There was no car, no exhaust. Darlings, don’t feel regretful…_(:зゝ∠)_ It will probably be locked until tomorrow afternoon because the person in charge of investigating these things will not be at work tonight and tomorrow morning. The process of applying to get a chapter reinstated is so slow.
I’m tired.
Eve: Mood.
sere: mood +1. I’m always tired. Also this arc’s chapters are so long so it makes me hella unmotivated.
Eve’s misspelling outtake: He slammed his fish on the desk.
HAHAHHAHAHAHH fish omg i could only imagine fish slapping like the kimchi slap meme