Chapter Ch210.2 - Extra: Lu Ting POV 2 (2)
Translated by Eve
Edited by Serefina
Extra: Lu Ting POV 2 (2)
One day, Lu Ting once again fought Allen in their dorm. He had indeed been jealous. He didn’t want anyone else coveting his person. However, Xie He had acted like he had been really afraid of him. That fearful expression had turned his body rigid. He hadn’t been able to help but recall that his actions had indeed been despicable. He had been forcing the other the whole time…. Did Xie He really like it? He didn’t, did he? Who would like being treated like that…?
That scene had mercilessly destroyed the beautiful facade. Lu Ting’s heart had ached terribly.
666 hadn’t been able to stop himself from reminding Lu Ting that Xie He had only been acting. However, Lu Ting had still ended up lost in thought. Which side should he believe? Should he believe in that ice-cold Favourability Value notification, or what he saw in front of him?
Why did it seem so real? Was this really all just an act?
He hadn’t been sure.
Lu Ting had thought that this wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to be with Xie He properly. He wanted to use his real face, his real self. He didn’t want to participate in Lord God’s game…. He didn’t want to be forced to hurt the person he loved.
He had wanted this game to end sooner. That was why he had complied with Xie He’s plans. He had done everything Xie He had wanted him to do…even if it had hurt him to do so.
Xie He hadn’t been wrong. Xie He had always been calm-headed and decisive with every step. The person who had been indecisive and unable to act had been himself.
He couldn’t continue on like this….
However, something unexpected had happened.
The nude photos Allen had taken had been leaked. This hadn’t happened in the original story. At that time, Lu Ting’s state had been terrible. Therefore, he had been careless…. By the time he had rushed over to the school, he saw Xie He cross the street during a red light. He had been walking onto the busy street, seemingly lost in a trance. That scene had been like a vice on Lu Ting’s heart, making it hard to breathe.
666 had also been anxious. He kept reminding Lu Ting that Xie He was just acting, that it was all fake! Xie He had been fine!
But Lu Ting couldn’t hear him. How could Xie He be fine after such an accident occurred? Who could remain indifferent when faced with something like that?
Lu Ting had regretted things terribly and blamed himself. He had always known that Xie He was a strong person. He had never revealed any weakness since he had been young. He had always been able to face any and all difficulties with a smile on his face…. But who would like something like this?
It was just like back then, when Xie He had still been young. Xie He had always acted indifferent, but Lu Ting had known that it had just been that the other had no one to rely on.
That was why he had gradually learned how to become strong.
Lu Ting had made a decision to protect Xie He or the rest of his life. However, he hadn’t been able to keep that promise. He had left. The only person Xie He had been able to rely on was Lu Ting…. Now, Lu Ting had finally come back but he was still incapable of protecting Xie He. Instead, he was being forced to hurt Xie He. This knowledge constantly tortured him.
Lu Ting knew that he shouldn’t give Xie He Favourability points so easily. However, he still gave them. He couldn’t bear to see Xie He continue to act like this. He just wanted everything to end a little sooner, even if he knew the consequences of doing this would be…to watch Xie He die again. Meanwhile, he’d be forced to stay in this world and act out his role all alone. He would be forced to live in anguish.
Despite all of this, he had still given Xie He everything he wanted.
Xie He had been saved by him but his mental state wasn’t good. He had become extremely afraid of them.
That day, Lu Ting had secretly gone to see Xie He. It was only when Xie He was sleeping that he didn’t need to act. It was only then when Xie He wouldn’t look at him in fear. It was only then that he could relax a bit.
Because Xie He’s acting was like a knife plunging into his heart…. It chiselled away at his ability to persist.
One night, Xie He didn’t pretend to sleep. After waking up, he didn’t yell hysterically either. He only calmly said that he forgave him and didn’t blame him.
Lu Ting had felt freed. He thus gave Xie He the last two Favourability points.
He knew that he couldn’t wish for too much. This world ought to end.
Xie He had left after that. Indeed, a few days later, news of his death reached Lu Ting.
This was the second time Lu Ting was faced with Xie He’s death. He was much calmer. Although he was drowning in sorrow, he still had things to do.
Xie He had nowhere near enough experience points right now. This game could not end just yet. He had to get used to it and keep pretending to be apathetic. He couldn’t control Xie He and couldn’t influence the outcome…. But what he could do was to ensure that he didn’t ruin everything with a lack of final effort.
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Lu Ting stayed in that world on his own for many days. He then arrived in the third world. The moment he received his memories and the plot, he had known that this world wouldn’t be easy for them.
Reality proved that to be true. But it was actually even worse than Lu Ting had anticipated.
As soon as Lu Ting had woken up, he had found himself in his office. There had also been a naked youth about to service him. He felt extremely embarrassed but he knew he couldn’t chase the young man away because of his character settings. However, he didn’t want to do anything with the NPCs of this world. Luckily, Xie He had managed to rush over in time. As soon as the other had walked in, he had kicked that young man away.
At that time, Lu Ting had sighed in relief.
Xie He had acted out Deng Zhuo, that profligate young master, very well. Lu Ting would sometimes wonder if the person in front of him had actually been someone different. However, he would occasionally see Xie He’s cunning light flash through the other’s eyes. That would convince him that it was indeed Xie He.
Lu Ting had really wanted to be a good dad because he knew that Xie He had never had a good father figure. This was what he lamented the most…. Furthermore, an indifferent, heartless father would undoubtedly reopen a wound in Xie He’s heart. It was too cruel towards Xie He.
However, he could not play the part of a good father because of his character settings and the plot.
This caused Lu Ting to despair.
He didn’t want to do anything. He just wanted to keep up the fake pretense. Although his character wasn’t a good father, at least Deng Jingwen didn’t treat Deng Zhuo badly….. He had thus granted Xie He his every request and continued acting as a father that treated him well despite not loving him.
But this had never been what Xie He wanted…. Xie He hadn’t needed a father since long ago. He didn’t need this fake world. All he wanted was Favourability points.
But Xie He’s information had been limited. That was a trick played by Lord God. Lu Ting had the full story but Xie He only had his character’s memories and a few sparse lines of introduction. Lord God did its best to conceal information from Xie He to increase the difficulty of the capture.
Therefore, it had taken a long time for Xie He to figure out the truth.
Lu Ting had decided to help Xie He. Although he knew that it would only cause him to fall into a painful, difficult circumstance again—because he’d have to play the villain. He wouldn’t even be able to pretend to be a good father on the surface like he had been before…. However, if he didn’t do something, it’d be really difficult for Xie He to find out the truth.
Otherwise, they would be stuck in a deadlock.
Xie He was calmer and more rational than Lu Ting. This world also wasn’t real. If Lu Ting were to be weak and refuse to move forward, both of them would lose.
Therefore, Lu Ting had ferreted out that woman who had stolen Deng Jingwen’s child back then. He had known that Xie He had been monitoring him the whole time and would not let go of such a good opportunity.
Indeed, everything had unfolded as he expected. They no longer had a father-son relationship and had become lovers. Lu Ting had pressed hard and slowly given Xie He points. He had been very willing to fall in love with Xie He all over again.
He wasn’t a good actor. However, loving Xie He required no acting. He already loved him, after all.
Lu Ting had done everything Xie He wished for. He acted as a man who would use any means to get what he wanted. He gave Xie He the sex life he wanted. However, he would be in painevery time they did it because Xie He would call him ‘Dad.’ Furthermore, he had to do things only beasts would do.
How could Xie He bear these circumstances and even give him Favourability points so nonchalantly?
What had Xie He experienced to cause him to become like this? What made him indifferent to everything, into someone who viewed life as a mere game…? Was there really nothing Xie He cared about in this world?
Lu Ting couldn’t help but think of those things.
Xie He had acted very disobedient. He would always stir up trouble. When Lu Ting had given him medical ointment, he refused to use it. He would purposely pay lip service. Lu Ting knew that he had to punish the other but he had never been able to bear hurting the other for real. He could only scare Xie He a bit. As expected, Xie He became much more obedient afterwards.
Although Lu Ting was with the person he loved and knew that his beloved actually wasn’t unwell and was just acting, it had still felt stifling. He couldn’t separate between what was real and fake. He couldn’t see Xie He’s strength as something that was to be expected…. He didn’t think that this was how Xie He was supposed to act. He even thought that it would be good for Xie He to show weakness once in a while…..
He had wished that Xie He could be protected.
666 had watched as Lu Ting became more taciturn. He had lost the excitement and anticipation he had in the beginning a long time ago. 666 also felt extremely pained.
He had thought that Lu Ting could be happy and relaxed if he were with Xie He. But reality developed contrary to their expectations.
Lu Ting had become numb…. He did everything Xie He expected of him. He did all the heartless things he was supposed to do. He had even brought Bai Xiaorui back for the sake of publicizing Deng Jingwen and Deng Zhuo’s relationship.
But something unexpected happened again. Xie He was kidnapped. At that moment, Lu Ting had thought he would go mad.
But 666 had said, “If you go over now, it would be seriously out of character. All your efforts would go to waste. Lord God will definitely notice that something is wrong. And Xie He will also suspect you.”
But Lu Ting still couldn’t remain indifferent.
666 once again emphasized, Xie He has the system’s protection so he’s going to be fine. Furthermore, he’s doing this to make you feel guilty and worried. It’s all to get points from you…. If you go, you’ll expose yourself and ruin Xie He’s plans. Are you willing to let Xie He’s hard work go to waste?”
Lu Ting had thus stopped. If he were to go, he would only cause Xie He’s plans to fall through…. Therefore, Lu Ting endured.
He searched using a method that was in accordance to his character’s capabilities.
In the end, when Lu Ting managed to rush over, Xie He had been lying in a pool of blood. There had been a very long wound on his face. His beautiful face had become extremely sinister. At that moment, Lu Ting had been unable to move.
His beautiful beloved had been destroyed….
He clearly could have prevented Xie He from being injured to this extent. However, he hadn’t been able to do a thing. It had felt like he had personally hurt Xie He. It had hurt so much that Lu Ting had wanted to die.
Xie He wanted him to feel pain and guilt. And Lu Ting knew what that felt like. He knew it well.
Lu Ting had brought Xie He back home. He meticulously took care of the other. He had decided that he would never let anyone hurt him again. However, Xie He acted indifferent. One time, when Lu Ting came back, he saw the sight of Xie He cutting his wrists with a shard of glass. He had thus frantically gone to steal the shard away.
When he saw Xie He’s face and eyes, he felt his blood go cold. He hadn’t been able to speak.
He left that suffocating room alone, tightly grasping that shard of glass. Blood dripped down his hands. 666 had asked him if he wanted a pain barrier but Lu Ting had refused.
He needed this pain to remind himself that he had to persevere.
Furthermore, this little bit of pain was nothing. He had already gotten used to pain that was hundreds of times worse. This level of pain hadn’t been worth mentioning. It had also been incapable of alleviating the sorrow in his heart.
But he had feared that he would begin to doubt everything if he didn’t feel this little bit of pain.
Lu Ting had chosen to let Xie He go. Xie He didn’t take anything with him. The only thing he had brought with him was a model. When Lu Ting saw Xie He say ‘Dad, we’re together’ to that model, he had felt his eyes heat up. He had even knocked over the glass of water in front of him.
Why couldn’t he be a good father? He had wanted to give Xie He what he didn’t have….
But Xie He didn’t need it. His goal had always been very clear. All he wanted was Favourability points. Nothing could stop him from getting what he wanted.
Lu Ting had then told 666 that he wondered if Xie He had discovered something. He wondered if Xie He….hated him….
666 said that couldn’t be the case. How could Xie He guess this?
Lu Ting didn’t know why but he felt like Xie He actually hated him. And he already couldn’t tell if the person Xie He hated was Lu Ting’s character or Lu Ting himself.
Xie He had then died again. This time, he chose an extremely tragic way to leave. He had jumped down a bridge in front of Lu Ting and had been crushed into pieces by a train. Lu Ting had stared at the bloody, shattered corpse and had broken down. He had also wanted to jump down but he had been stopped.
When Lu Ting woke up in the hospital, he had hated his assistant so much. Why did he have to stop him?! Why did he have to live?! He should have died with Xie He back then, should have gone looking for him in another world, rather than stay in this painful world! He didn’t want to live at all!
But everything had already been decided. Since he was alive, he had to continue living while carrying this burden.
666 had felt powerless. But at that time, he had discovered that Xie He would let 444 go play in the system space. Therefore, for the sake of sharing Lu Ting’s burdens, he would constantly approach 444 and get information from him. He had hoped that this information would comfort Lu Ting.
But the effect had been really weak.
Lu Ting could never forget the scene of Xie He dying in front of him. He would always startle awake at night, as if expecting that one day, Xie He would walk through those doors once more…. Lu Ting had pledged to himself that if Xie He would just come back, he would definitely protect him this time. He wouldn’t let him be hurt again.
He didn’t want Xie He to hate him anymore. But at that time, he hadn’t known that there wouldn’t be a next time.
…………………………
Lord God realized that something was fishy after Lu Ting lost three times in a row. It thought that Lu Ting had been giving points too easily and was doing what Xie He wanted. Lu Ting clearly had a way to make the captures much more difficult, but he didn’t do a thing. Therefore, Lord God suspected Lu Ting of purposely throwing the game.
Therefore, starting from the fourth world, Lord God sealed Lu Ting’s memories and blocked 666. It also raised the difficulty of the capture by a lot.
Lu Ting, who had his memories sealed, could not cooperate with Xie He. He was nothing but a target waiting to be captured—a NPC. Furthermore, the difficulty of Xie He’s capture increased with every world. Lu Ting would only remember everything when each world ended.
Every time he recalled everything, he would re-experience the pain of having hurt the person he loved. He would once again experience what it’s like watching the person he loved die…. Every time, he would doubt whether he was doing the right thing even more. Was it right of him to involve Xie He in all of this?
He had wanted to save Xie He…but in the end, all he did was hurt him.
666 truly couldn’t keep watching this. However, he couldn’t do a thing. He could only tell Lu Ting about what he had heard from 444. He could only tell him that Xie He didn’t care, that he hadn’t really been hurt, that it was all just an act.
Xie He had even sold the heart he had excavated out of Lu Ting!
666 would tell Lu Ting news of Xie He with exaggerated words…. However, he had known that these words couldn’t help. They could not compare to what Lu Ting had experienced.
Having to watch Xie He die and leave him over and over again, that soul-splitting pain…they caused Lu Ting to perpetually be on the brink of falling apart.
The pain Lu Ting caused his beloved was like a sharp knife growing out from his heart. It was able to bypass his hard exterior and ruin him from the inside out.
The only thing Lu Ting had been happy about was that Xie He had won every round. No one had ever been able to sway Xie He from the path he had chosen. He had been as strong, cool-headed, rational and strategic as always.
They had paid so much. At least someone had to win. And Lu Ting hoped that it would be Xie He.
Lu Ting lost to Xie He over and over again. His store of experience points constantly decreased. In the second to last world, Lord God realized that if this continued, Xie He would win. Therefore, it set up an extremely difficult instance. It tried to trap Xie He.
But Xie He had still won.
Lu Ting had no more points left. In the end, he returned to Xie He’s world and used his own body.
This was the reunion he had yearned for all his life. He had paid everything to see Xie He again…. He had imagined all sorts of scenarios that could possibly play out when they saw each other again. He had thought that if he could return, he would tell Xie He his feelings. He had thought that he wouldn’t try to escape anymore or hide.
This was the obsession he held onto for several hundred years….
But when he really managed to come back, when the time had come for real, he realized that he couldn’t say it out loud. He didn’t have the right to.
Therefore, he continued to pretend that he didn’t care, that he didn’t love Xie He. He wanted the other to hate him.
He had hurt Xie He so much. He had no right to ask the other for forgiveness. All the things he had wanted to say, the words that had fermented for a thousand years…seemed to have been covered by dust that could not be washed away.
666 had told Lu Ting, “You shouldn’t do this. You should be frank with Xie He! Xie He hadn’t actually minded any of that! He had the system’s protection. He actually had a good time…. There’s a really big chance that he’d forgive you. As long as you obtain Xie He’s forgiveness, you have a chance to survive! If you continue being stubborn, when Xie He wins, you’ll have no chance of being revived! Don’t throw away your last chance at life out of stubbornness!”
666 had been thinking about Lu Ting when he had said this. He had hoped that both of them could live.
However, he still didn’t understand human emotions.
Lu Ting didn’t have the face to ask for forgiveness. Furthermore, he didn’t want to make things difficult for Xie He…. Therefore, even though they had finally met again after such a long time apart, all he could say was: I didn’t miss you, so how could I act like it?
The author has something to say:
President Lu: Why are my characters’ settings all like that? Ah? *Flips table*
The author: Because that’s the only way you can be considered a scum gong, ah. Everyone said that only really scummy guys are fun to abuse. ┑(￣Д ￣)┍
President Lu: I’m going to beat you to death!!!
The author: …QAQ
Eve: That’s it for Lu Ting’s POV. The next chapter will be about ‘what happens after’ featuring both Lu Ting, Xie He, and our lovely systems. This novel will also formally come to an end with the next chapter. Oh my heart feels sour. T^T
sere: damn this was so dog blood…. Also… surprise? The scum gongs aren’t really scum… now everyone’s just been hurt ouch. Omg but the next extra is really good! One more chapter!! Woo!