Chapter 183 - A Literal Little Black Room
Translated by Eve
Edited by Serefina
Warning: Mindbreak
9. A Literal Little Black Room
Liang Chengshan gently touched his own neck and looked at the blood staining his fingers. The warmth in his eyes dissipated and they gradually turned ice-cold.
Without a doubt, Xie He had betrayed him again.
Liang Chengshan shut his eyes, expression still as water. He walked over to Xie He and looked down at him, his voice cool. “I told you before, that was your last chance.”
Xie He raised his head, a mocking sneer coming out from his lips. “That’s true. It’s really such a pity that I didn’t manage to kill you.” From the moment he had failed, he knew that only death awaited him. From the moment he was exposed, he knew that there would be no meaning in continuing this charade.
Liang Chengshan received a gun, handed to him by one of his bodyguards. He pressed it directly against Xie He’s forehead, eyes encased in a layer of ice! This traitor, he should have gotten rid of him long ago! The moment Xie He betrayed him, he should have killed him.
But he hadn’t. He had even given the other many chances. This was the first time he had given a traitor a chance to survive…but Xie He had still betrayed him once again.
There was a cold smile on Xie He’s lips. He didn’t close his eyes. He just stared at Liang Chengshan. Even when faced with death, he wanted to engrave this man’s face into his soul. He would become an evil spirit and make sure Liang Chengshan would never be able to live in peace!
Liang Chengshan gripped the gun tightly. He gazed into Xie He’s sharp, dazzling eyes. There was no fear of death inside. What he did see was calmness, dedication, brightness and… a deep hatred for Liang Chengshan.
This was the real Xie He…. The ‘like’ and ‘love’ he uttered before had all been fake. Beneath those affectionate words of love was a bone-deep hatred, a desire to eat his flesh and drink his blood.
Liang Chengshan’s eyes were fixed on the young man in front of him. He suddenly parted his lips and spat out, “You hate me.”
Xie He let out a reckless laugh, his eyes frosty. “I want to tear you into a million pieces.”
Liang Chengshan asked, “Why?”
This was not the gaze of an undercover cop, nor was this how a cop should act. At this moment, Liang Chengshan suddenly realized…Xie He had only come for the sake of revenge. From the start, his goal had only ever been him.
“Why?” There was venom dripping from Xie He’s voice, “Obviously it’s because you deserve to die.”
To Xie He, that scene he witnessed that night would never be able to be erased. It was the origin of his suffering and hatred. But it was nothing to this murderer…. Liang Chengshan had killed so many people, brought so many families to ruins, made so many wives lose their husbands, made so many children lose their parents, shattered so many happy families….
But to Liang Chengshan, all of this was nothing. Those that hurt others didn’t understand how much it hurt to lose someone they loved.
Liang Chengshan gazed into Xie He’s eyes, his finger on the trigger. He only had to pull it slightly and he could end this person’s life.
After killing him…he would no longer be able to betray Liang Chengshan or stir up his emotions again. Liang Chengshan’s reason told him that he should kill him.
Just like how he had pulled the trigger on his best friend fifteen years ago.
After fifteen years, his heart was harder and his blood was colder than ever before. From this, he shouldn’t have any hesitation whatsoever…but why couldn’t he do it this time?
It was probably because somewhere in his heart, he knew…if he killed this person, he would very likely never meet someone he cared about like this ever again. Even if another person like that existed, he didn’t have another fifteen years to spend waiting on that someone.
【Ding, the target Liang Chengshan’s Favourability Value +5. The current Favourability Value is 85.】
Liang Chengshan slowly took his hand back and said, “Lock him up.”
Xie He had been certain that he would die. Who would have expected that Liang Chengshan wouldn’t kill him? He was startled for a moment before he burst into ridiculing laughter. “You’re not going to kill me? You didn’t actually fall in love with me, did you? That would be hilarious, ahahaha!”
Liang Chengshan’s hand clenched slightly and there was an imperceptible twist in his expression.
Xie He continued to laugh. “I only told you that I liked you, that I loved you, because I wanted to deceive you! Every time I told you I liked you, I would think about your dying by my hand. Honestly, if you were a corpse, I might like you, hahaha!
“Although you already know this, I still want to tell you: I hate you! I’ve always hated you.”
Liang Chengshan took in the nearly tangible hatred shining out from Xie He’s eyes. The glint of hatred was like a ray of light shooting out from a pitch-black abyss….. A long time later, he smiled and his eyes became gentle once more. “I understand.”
He calmly watched as Xie He was dragged away. He then headed towards Liang Ze.
Liang Ze had been shot and blood painted his abdomen red. Everything had happened too quickly…so quickly that he hadn’t had time to react. Liang Ze looked up at Liang Chengshan, resentment and unwillingness to give up filling his eyes.
Liang Chengshan stood before him and said in an insipid tone. “See? The Yang Ling you trusted—he’s a traitor.”
Liang Ze had been shocked at first when Xie He attacked Liang Chengshan. However, at this point in time, he had already calmed down. He spoke in a voice dripping with hatred, “Isn’t it normal for him to want to kill you with how you’ve treated him? Haha…he wants to kill you because you’ve sinned too much.”
Liang Chengshan stared at Liang Ze, disappointment flashing through his eyes. He knew that his son had completely turned against him. He paused and then said, “Since you’ve betrayed me, I’ll take back everything I’ve given you. It would be best for you to remember that the only reason I spared your life is because my blood flows through your veins.
“Go. Don’t try to provoke me again.”
Liang Chengshan gave him a cold glance and then left.
Liang Chengshan shared some responsibility for Liang Ze’s action. But even if he were to do it again, he would still not give Xie He back to his son, let alone tolerate Liang Ze’s provocation.
Today, both his son and his beloved had betrayed him.
But that was fine. In any case, he had never trusted either or them. If he didn’t trust in others, they could not hurt him. He just had to make sure he had everything in his control.
Compared to something as weak as trust that required him to put his hopes in someone else…being able to control everything was much more reliable.
…………………………
【444：Ah ah ah ah ah, Host dada he nearly killed you! QAQ】
&#k3010;Xie He&#kUU1J;Baby, he couldn’t bear to. &#k1U642; &#k3011;
&#k3010;444&#kUU1J;It looked really dangerous to me. (:&#k437;&#k309B;&#k2220;)_&#k3011;
&#k3010;Xie He&#kUU1J;He loves me the way I love experience points. I wouldn’t be able to bear killing off my experience points, would I? From a certain point of view, we’re mutually in love. &#k1U642; &#k3011;
【444：……】He feels like he won’t ever be able to believe in love again….
Xie He was brought to a torture chamber and was hung up by his wrists.
A whole day passed and he was not given food or drink, causing his lips to chap and strength to wane. He could only hang his head down and remain still. However, he was still awake. When he heard the door open, he quickly looked up, on guard. He watched Liang Chengshan enter the room.
Xie He gave the other a face full of hatred. There was a sneer hanging on his lips. He had only said what he had to mock and ridicule Liang Chengshan. Actually, he really understood this man. Liang Chengshan would not let him go. He was only keeping Xie He alive right now because he wanted to punish him.
However, Xie He wasn’t afraid of torture. Before coming here, he had already made preparations for the worst case scenario.
Liang Chengshan pinched Xie He’s chin, forcing him to raise his face. There was no longer any docility or love in that beautiful face. There was only ice-cold loathing. This was what Xie He truly felt. Liang Chengshan sighed quietly. “Tell me, why did you want to kill me?”
Xie He sneered. “Didn’t I already tell you? It’s because you deserve to die.”
Liang Chengshan looked helpless. He tried coming from another direction. “Tell me who you really are. Tell me everything you’ve hidden.”
Xie He stared at him and then spat in his face.
Liang Chengshan’s gaze turned cold. He wiped at his own face, a heavy look in his eyes as he watched Xie He.
Xie He spoke with a derisive smile on his face. “I’ll tell your corpse everything after you die.”
He had already made a firm resolution before coming here. Unless he was able to kill Liang Chengshan, he would not reveal his identity. He would not make any trouble for Uncle Hall or his friends. If he lost, he would die here alone and take everything with him to the grave.
Liang Chengshan could see the stubbornness in Xie He’s eyes. He suddenly laughed. “That’s fine. I actually don’t care. I just want you, in any case.”
He had so many enemies that he didn’t even know just how many of them there were. The number of people who wanted to kill him was even greater than that…. Although the reasons varied, it was hatred all the same.
Xie He barked out a cold laugh. “I will never be yours.”
Liang Chengshan shook his head, a smile on his lips. His dark eyes peered into Xie He. “It’s too early to say. I’ll wait for the day you beg for me.”
Xie He looked like he had just heard a hilarious joke. “Beg for you? You think that I’ll beg for you?”
Liang Chengshan lowered his head, planting a soft kiss on Xie He’s lips. There was callousness and possessiveness mixed in those seemingly gentle eyes. His voice lowered and there was an insincere smile on his face. “Yes, you will beg for me.”
After saying this, he let go and left.
Bishop was waiting outside for Liang Chengshan.
Liang Chengshan said, “Have you found out who Yang Ling is yet?”
Bishop looked ashamed for once. He said, “No.”
Liang Chengshan didn’t scold him. He just said, “Continue investigating until you’ve found it.”
Actually, he had already ordered Bishop to investigate Xie He the first time the other had tried to assassinate him. It was just that Xie He had kept his identity well-hidden. That’s why they had yet to get any information on him.
He wouldn’t have believed in whatever Xie He told him anyway. Compared to Xie He’s confession, he was more inclined to trust the results of his own investigation.
………………………………
Xie He was left hanging for a very long time. In the end, he passed out. When he woke up, he found himself sitting on any icy metal chair.
He was naked and there was a tube inserted into his nose, as well as a catheter in his lower body. His wrists and neck were fastened to the metal chair by soft leather. Everything around him was pitch black. There was no light or sounds.
【Xie He：What’s happening, Baby?】
【444：We’re in a room of approximately twenty square meters. The chair you’re sitting in is at the center of the room. There’s all sorts of monitoring devices installed in this room. After you passed out, Liang Chengshan had you shut in here. He hasn’t done anything else. I originally thought that he was going to torture you. _(:зゝ∠)_】
【Xie He：Baby, the torture has already started. Smile.JPG】
【444：Eh?】
【Xie He：Uncle Liang is both a classy and particular person. He knows how to best achieve his goals. Moreover, he never does anything unnecessary. Compared to meaningless torture, he is more inclined to employ psychological torture. This way, he won’t injure my body and can also make me submit to him wholeheartedly. After all, he wants me in one piece. 】
【444：But how can he make you submit to him like this ?_(:зゝ∠)_】He didn’t understand at all?! Was being made to sit such a terrifying punishment?
【Xie He：He obviously won’t be able to make me submit since I have you, Baby. Your functions are especially important at times like these. First, put some movies on for me. I want something funny and light-hearted. Smile.JPG 】
【444：……(⊙o⊙) Oh.】Isn’t this shift in topic a little too abrupt….
【Xie He：Time to test my acting abilities. 🙂 】
【444：……】Host dada still hasn’t explained why this is considered torture!!!
Xie He watched his movies, unhurried. When he started getting a little sleepy, the chair sent a current through him, forcing him awake with the pain. From then on, every time he would begin to fall asleep, the current would wake him, causing him to be unable to sleep.
Xie He narrowed his eyes. If it weren’t for the system, Liang Chengshan’s tactic this time would be ruthless enough to break him.
Trapped in absolute darkness but denied sleep—this was enough to destroy the human psyche. No one could endure this. It was just a matter of how long they could hold on for. This had nothing to do with how strong one’s willpower was. It was simply that there was a limit to what the human brain could endure. If someone went past it, they would fall apart.
But for Xie He, who had the system, the darkness and stillness had no effect on him. That was because he could watch television and play games at his leisure. He wasn’t bored at all. Actually, he was having a great time.
But it was a bit annoying not being able to sleep….
The first day was fine. Xie He was able to deal with that very easily. But by the second day, he started to feel tired. On the third day, he couldn’t concentrate on the movies, let alone play games. His thought and reaction speeds both slowed down.
Between the fourth and fifth days, he began to hallucinate. No entertainment could alleviate his suffering. This was pain that came from the psychological level.
He wanted to move but he couldn’t. It was like this body didn’t belong to him, like he was thoroughly imprisoned. He couldn’t even control what went into his body or what went out. It was like his soul was pulled out from his body and he had to watch himself endure endless torture….
And he had no way of accessing his innate self-protection mechanisms—passing out—to escape.
He didn’t know how much time had passed before Xie He suddenly heard the system’s notification.
【Ding, warning, the host has suffered psychological damage. The emergency psychological protection sequence will now activate! 】
【444：Yi? What’s going on? Why is there suddenly a warning?! Σ( ° △°|||)︴】
Xie He felt his mind slowly clear. The pain gradually disappeared. As it left, he regained his consciousness and judgement back. The only thing that hadn’t disappeared was the feeling of exhaustion.
【Xie He：It’s fine. The system is very impressive. Smile.JPG】
【444：Are you really okay? QAQ】
【Xie He：Yes. Baby, keep playing movies for me.】
【444：……】
With the psychological protection and 444, Xie He felt like he had nothing to fear. He could withstand this torture for a hundred days! But he still had to put on an act. Watching movies while acting was an interesting experience.
Liang Chengshan watched over Xie He the whole time. He determined the other’s current condition through cameras installed with night vision, as well as information on Xie He’s physical stats, such as his pulse and blood pressure.
Xie He’s mental fortitude exceeded his expectations. He hadn’t expected the other to persevere for so long.
In the beginning, Xie He acted very calmly, as if this didn’t affect him. Gradually, as time passed, he began to act fretful and let out uneasy cries. Later on, he seemed to have become delirious. After that, his consciousness seemed to become muddled…. He had tried to struggle with all his might, but he hadn’t been able to move an inch.
The nasogastric tube would feed him once every eight hours. It wouldn’t let him feel full, but it would keep him alive. He was constantly in total darkness. There was no warmth in the stillness—only the cold from the metal chair…. Hunger and exhaustion constantly tormented him.
Because his neck was fastened, Xie He would constantly knock the back of his head against the chair. However, he could only make quiet noises. In the end, he stopped moving. His body began to convulse involuntarily and he would occasionally find it difficult to breathe.
Extreme exhaustion caused him to lose control over his body. His mind was no longer clear.
Liang Chengshan had watched everything with a callous expression. This cruelty was the only way to thoroughly possess this person…. If you can’t love me, then I’ll make sure you can never leave me. I’ll make sure you have no choice but to become mine.
When only I can bring you peace, you will have no choice but to love me.
On the eighth day, the doctor in the monitoring room said to Liang Chengshan, “He’s about to reach his limit. You can go in and let him rest a bit.”
Liang Chengshan left the room and put a special blindfold on Xie He. He then turned on the light and undid the binds on Xie He, pulling the other man into his arms. He caressed Xie He’s trembling body, his voice low and gentle when he spoke. “Hush…you can sleep for a while.”
Xie He was muddleheaded. He thought that he would soon go crazy. There was only darkness here. Had he already died? Was that why everything was so dark, so quiet…? But why couldn’t he rest if he was dead?
He was in so much pain. He wanted to move but he couldn’t. It was like his body didn’t belong to him. Otherwise, why was he unable to control it? Why couldn’t he move? He wanted to shout like crazy, but he couldn’t make a sound. He wanted to sleep, he wanted to pass out, but he was still awake….
The unending darkness and fatigue drove him mad. Who was he? What was his name? He couldn’t remember. He just wanted to sleep…. Right now, he couldn’t think at all. But just as he was about to go crazy from despair, he saw the light. It was very faint and weak but that didn’t matter. He knew that it was light…it was like his only hope within the darkness….
He felt a pair of warm hands stroking his body. His body was finally freed. He lay against a wide, sturdy chest and a gentle voice told him that he could rest.
At once, he fell asleep. This time, he was not startled awake with pain. He slept very serenely. It turned out that being able to sleep was enough to make a man cry tears of joy.
It was asif a person who was about to die in the desert finally got a sip of water.
Xie He slept very deeply. He didn’t know how long he had slept. But he woke from the pain of being entered. Xie He’s consciousness slowly came back. He knew who the person ruthlessly doing him was. It was the person he hated the most.
Xie He parted his lips and let out a hoarse voice, “Stop…I’ll kill you…ah!”
Liang Chengshan hugged him from behind, pasting his lips against the other’s ears. A gentle, low voice sounded. “I know, but I don’t blame you. I forgive you.”
The hatred intensified in Xie He’s voice. “Who wants your forgiveness? Go die, ah ah ah!”
Liang Chengshan laughed, sounding helpless and doting. “Is that so?”
Xie He hissed, “I will definitely kill you!”
Liang Chengshan laughed. He pulled out of Xie He and carried him, putting him back onto the chair. The moment Xie He’s body touched the cold metal chair, the painful memories once again assaulted his brain. He began to struggle with all his might but the continuous torture had left his body weak. His strength was weaker than an ordinary person’s. In the end, his body was once again fastened into place.
Liang Chengshan turned off the lights, took off Xie He’s blindfold and left.
The moment Xie He heard the sound of the door closing, he felt the deathly silence return. That sliver of light, that trace of warmth, that hint of peace…everything had disappeared…. His world was once again empty. He let out a howl filled with hatred. “I will definitely kill you! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you!”
No one answered him. There wasn’t even an echo!
Except for him, there was nothing else here.
Xie He was exhausted. The short few hours of sleep were not enough for him to fully recover. The darkness made him feel like he was going insane, but the electrical current forced him to stay awake. It made him vividly aware of his endless loneliness and despair. His brain could not endure this burden.
He tried his best to move but to no avail.
A few more days passed. Xie He’s voice began to weaken. “Kill me…kill me….”
If death could bring him peace, he would rather choose death.
But it was useless. Because sometimes…even death could be wishful thinking.
Xie He couldn’t help but recall Liang Chengshan’s hands as they caressed him, recall the warmth and physical contact Liang Chengshan brought him when he had been inside him. He kept thinking about that. These memories reminded him that he was still alive, and that he wasn’t just a lonely ghost trapped in a dark, hellish cycle.
Right…his hatred. He had to kill Liang Chengshan…. He had come here to kill Liang Chengshan…. He would not forget this.
Xie He began to incessantly think these words on repeat. I have to kill my enemy.
I have to kill my enemy.
I have to kill my enemy.
My enemy…is Liang Chengshan.
But he quickly lost the ability to remember this…. His brain was a mess. He could not think. Everything became foggy. There was only darkness and quiet here…. Very soon, he had also almost forgotten what he had come here to do….
When he was on the brink of despair once more, Liang Chengshan reappeared. Just like last time, he brought with him a faint light and hands that would warm Xie He’s cold body. He held Xie He gently and would tell him, “You can rest for a while….”
No. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want Liang Chengshan. He hated this person.
Xie He began to struggle but his body was even weaker than before. He had no strength to shout. He could only repeatedly murmur, “Go to hell…go to hell…I’ll kill you…I don’t want you….”
As soon as he said this, Liang Chengshan left.
Xie He was once again trapped in the chair. However, for a moment, he regretted it. Why did he chase Liang Chengshan away? Why did he put himself back into his despair?
He was stuck in the never-ending despair, fatigue, hunger, loneliness…. If he could rest for a while, what did it matter if that person was Liang Chengshan?
No. He couldn’t think like this. This was Liang Chengshan’s plan. He wanted to make Xie He submit. But Xie He would never submit to him!
Xie He didn’t know how much time passed. He could not perceive the passage of time. It was like time was frozen in this place.
He was forever stuck in time. He kept experiencing that moment of despair over and over again. His imagination ran wild and his mind was a mess. He could not escape this dark labyrinth. But he could not lose consciousness either. He was so tired…so tired…but he could not rest….
No one could save him…no…there was one person who could save him….
Liang Chengshan could save him. Only he could let Xie He rest. Only he could let Xie He see the light, hear and feel warmth.
He was the only one who could let him feel. He could take him out of this abyss of despair…he could bring him peace.
He began to look forward to the other’s arrival.
When Liang Chengshan came again, Xie He did not fight as much, although who knew whether that was because he didn’t have the energy or if he had given up on resisting. He was too weak, too tired. He was no longer strong, no longer powerful. He couldn’t even control his own body. Even after leaving the chair, he could not move fluidly. Being bound for a long period of time had made his limbs stiff.
Xie He shut his eyes tightly and gritted his teeth. He used silence as his means of resistance.
Liang Chengshan never stayed long. He would appear once every few days and lull Xie He into a restful slumber in his embrace. He would then have his way with Xie He before re-fastening him to the chair. In the end, he would turn off the light and leave.
This happened a fourth time, a fifth time, a sixth time…more than ten times….
Xie He couldn’t remember things clearly anymore. This kind of life was like an infinite loop. In the end, he couldn’t even think clearly. He thought that he was likely already dead and was now being tortured in hell. Who was he? Who was the person that always came? Gradually, his mind became muddled. He was so tired….
He could not rest. He could not think clearly.
But there was one thing that was unquestionable. He had begun to yearn for that man. The other man was the only thing he looked forward to while trapped in this eternal darkness.
It was like he lived in another world and the only thing he could do in this world was wait for the man to come.
But his subconsciousness told him that this wasn’t right. He shouldn’t look forward to seeing this person. This person was the cause of all his suffering. He should hate this person and stay far away from him!
But he really, really wanted the man.
One day, he began to think, although he hated this person, he could also miss him, ah…. He just wanted to rest a little. When he regained his strength, he could continue to hate that person…right…?
Xie He began to eagerly anticipate the man’s next visit. In the end, when he was once again on the eve of falling apart, the man came.
Xie He once again returned to that familiar embrace. It was like being held by his father. It brought him an unprecedented serenity, it made him feel like he could rely on this person. In the man’s arms, there was no more pain or darkness. The torment could not reach him here. The other had appeared in front of him like a deity, casting light into his world. He was no longer lonely.
Xie He fell asleep. When he woke up, mind fuzzy, he could feel the man inside of him. Their bodies were one. That scorching hot thing seemed to make his blood heat up, warming him from the inside out. It felt like he could once again feel his own body…and that he was no longer cold and dead.
Xie He weakly reached out to use the last of his remaining strength to hug the man with trembling arms. He wanted more warmth. He wanted to absorb all the warmth he could…. He didn’t want to let go because he knew that this man would leave soon….
He always left after a bit….
Indeed, not long after, the man was leaving him again—the warmth was leaving him again. The man carried him in his arms and placed him back onto that cold chair.
As soon as Xie He felt his skin make contact with that metal chair, immeasurable memories of fear and despair drowned him. He held the man’s arm tightly and croaked in a shaky voice, “D-don’t leave…don’t leave….”
“Don’t leave me….”
Eve: Oof, this kind of torture is truly inhumane. :/ Even Xie He would have broke if it weren’t for the system.
sere: …. Boi i don’t think it gets worse than this…. At least in previous torturing sessions he could pass out? The psychological pain from reading this hurts so much??? tf