Chapter 203 - No Love, No Pain
Translated by Eve
Edited by Serefina
11. No Love, No Pain
Lu Ting dragged Xie He out without a word. He shoved him into the passenger seat of the car, fastened the other’s seatbelt and then drove them back to the hotel. He then pulled Xie He upstairs by the arm.
Xie He’s eyebrows were furrowed. He asked coldly, “What are you doing?”
Lu Ting didn’t respond. His eyes were glued onto the man in front of him. He stared at Xie He’s thin lips as they opened and closed. He listened as Xie He spat out cold words. Lu Ting suddenly didn’t want to hear them anymore….In any case, he wouldn’t hear what he wanted to hear from Xie He’s lips anyways.
He grabbed Xie He’s shoulder and pushed the other against the door. He lowered his head and kissed Xie He hard, almost like he wasn’t kissing but biting the other instead!
The faint taste of blood came from their intertwined lips and teeth. However, Lu Ting didn’t stop. His kiss became even more fierce….Yes, this was what he wanted to do! He wanted to kiss Xie He, hold him, and trap him in his arms. He wanted to make sure Xie He wouldn’t be able to go anywhere else!
Every day, he had to watch as Xie He dated other people. He had to watch as Xie He pursued other people….He had to pretend like he didn’t care. But in reality, he had already gone mad from the pain and jealousy.
Lu Ting didn’t care about Xie He’s resistance. He pressed down on the other firmly and kissed the other with all his strength!
Like this, he robbed the other of his breath.
Xie He was kissed until he was panting. A long time later, he sucked in a deep breath and narrowed his eyes. In a chilly voice, he said, “Let go of me!”
For the first time, Lu Ting didn’t let go as Xie He demanded. There was restrained pain in Lu Ting’s pitch-black eyes. He pushed Xie He straight into the room and spoke in a low, raspy voice. “Pack your things. We should head back.”
He had already ordered Henry to book them return tickets.
Xie He fixed his dishevelled clothing. He scowled. “I’m not going back.”
“You’re not going back?” Lu Ting looked at Xie He and let out a derisive laugh, fist clenching tightly. “You’ve already seen her. It wouldn’t be good to stay here and destroy her family, would it?”
“I don’t intend to ruin her family.” Xie He said blandly, “I just want to be friends.”
Lu Ting snorted, “Just friends?”
Xie He’s eyes bored into Lu Ting’s. A while later, he smiled mockingly. “Well, even if I have other intentions, who I love, who I pursue, who I like…none of that has anything to do with you.”
Lu Ting’s knuckles turned white from how hard he squeezed his fists. Faint cracking could be heard. That’s right…from the moment he had decided to leave, he had lost the right to meddle with Xie He’s affairs. Their relationship had ended a long time ago.
All his hard work that came after…it had all just been his wishful thinking.
However…now that he was really in this situation, he had discovered that he couldn’t go through with it….He couldn’t ignore it. He couldn’t be so magnanimous.
When Xie He had gotten together with Yu Shu, Xie He had also told him that this had nothing to do with him. If Lu Ting could let go, he would have let go back then. But he hadn’t been able to do that.
He also had a selfish side to him. He wasn’t unselfish or worthy of admiration at all.
He didn’t want to suppress his feelings anymore.
Lu Ting pressed his lips into a tight line. He stood there firmly, not giving way. He spoke very clearly, “If you have nothing to pack, we’ll leave right now. The tickets have already been bought.”
Xie He suddenly raised a brow and asked, “Why do I have to go back? Is it so hard for you to see me with Ruan Xiaoxuan? Aren’t you fine as long as I’m happy? I feel really happy with her. Shouldn’t you be happy for me…?”
Lu Ting punched the wall, his eyes blood red. “I’m. Not. Happy.”
He knew that he wasn’t in a good state right now. He tried his best to control himself, to not hurt Xie He. He would rather die than hurt Xie He or see him upset&#k2026;.However, he really couldn’t watch Xie He fall in love with someone else. That was the only thing he could hold onto.
Xie He looked shocked. He said, “You’re not happy? Haven’t you been pretending to not like me all this time? I’m doing what you wanted, ah. You can relax. I won’t fall in love with you. I can fall in love with anyone but I won’t fall in love with you….So you don’t have to worry or fear that I will love you. If I fall in love with Ruan Xiaoxuan, won’t you feel more reassured? Isn’t this a good thing?”
“I’m acting as you wished. But now you’re saying that you’re not happy….” Xie He’s tone cooled down and his eyes turned frosty. “Didn’t you come back to ensure that I wouldn’t fall for you? You just don’t want to suffer so much. You don’t want me to fall in love with me, but you’re also acting like you love me for your own sake. Aren’t you tired?
“Even if you’re not tired, I’m tired.
“My time is precious. I don’t have any time to play this love game with you.”
When Lu Ting heard this, the strength drained from his body. His lips parted but no sound came out.
His ridiculous intentions…had already been seen through since a long time ago….
But that’s only to be expected. He had been so obvious.
Xie He saw Lu Ting’s expression and a faint sneer appeared on his lips. “Since there’s no way we could ever be together, let’s not waste each other’s time. I won’t love you so you don’t have to appear in front of me again…. After all, I’ve never been one to waste time on meaningless things.”
After saying this, he headed towards the door.
Just as Xie He was about to bypass Lu Ting, Lu Ting reached out to grab Xie He’s wrist. There was intense sorrow in his eyes. A long time later, a low, hoarse voice came out from his throat. “I want you to love me….I want you to stay.”
When he said this, he felt like he was giving up. A self-deprecating smile appeared on his lips.
This was what he really wanted….He wanted Xie He to love him back.
More than anyone else, he wanted Xie He’s love.
But he didn’t dare ask for it. He hadn’t dared to ask for it thirteen years ago. Thirteen years later, he still didn’t have the courage to ask for it. It was obviously what he wanted and yearned for the most…but he didn’t dare ask for it.
Xie He paused. The smile on his face disappeared. He looked at Lu Ting seriously. “Aren’t you afraid that I’ll die? That I’ll lose?”
Lu Ting’s expression warped in pain. He said, “I want you to win. I want you to live…but I also want you to love me.”
Xie He’s lips curled up. “You’re really a contradictory fellow.”
Lu Ting shut his eyes. That’s right…he was really a contradictory person. However, he didn’t want to lie to himself anymore. He didn’t want to pretend that he didn’t want this person’s love. He didn’t want to keep pretending like he didn’t care….He wanted Xie He so much he thought that he’d soon go insane.
All his life, wasn’t what he wanted most Xie He’s love?
No one knew how much he had suffered, when he had chosen to leave Xie He back then. He had had no choice but to push away the person he loved the most.
If he had to watch Xie He fall in love with someone else, he would rather give up. It would be enough….As long as Xie He was willing to love him, he could give up everything else.
Because, when you die, I will accompany you. We will never part again.
Lu Ting stared at Xie He, intense pain and love swirling in his eyes. “Don’t leave. I can’t lose you.”
Xie He returned the gaze. He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment. He then quietly said, “So you wanted me to love you….”
I’ve always known this, but it’s the first time I’ve heard you say it out loud….It’s the first time you’ve stopped trying to avoid it, the first time you’ve stopped trying to hide it. It’s the first time you’ve met your biggest fear head on and told me your feelings and told me what you wanted.
Many, many people have told Xie He that they loved him. All of the capturing hosts had said that they loved him. All the people he had attracted had said that they loved him. There were too many people who loved him…to the point where ‘I love you’ now meant nothing to Xie He. These words had stopped affecting him since long ago.
To Xie He, love was nothing but an annoying game he couldn’t end. Because he knew that none of it was real. It was just a contest of acting abilities. It was just a manipulation of emotions.
To Xie He, love was a cheap thing that could be thrown away.
However, he hadn’t forgotten…that among the one hundred hosts, only one person had never said that he loved Xie He.
That person had only silently accompanied and cared for Xie He. He had never said those three words, right up until he left. He had never said that he loved Xie He.
Even after meeting again after so long…this man still hadn’t said that he loved him.
It wasn’t because Lu Ting didn’t love him. Rather, it was because Lu Ting loved him too much. That was why he never said it out loud.
Xie He had known this since a long, long time ago. The only person who had never said ‘I love you’ was the only person who truly loved him. This person loved him unconditionally. He didn’t ask for anything back. He didn’t ask for Xie He’s love in return.
And now, he finally got to hear this person say ‘I love you’….Although his words were clumsy, although the location was not magnificent, and although his expression was that of pain…although it couldn’t be compared to the other capturing hosts…when Xie He heard those three words, his heart that had long since stopped beating began to throb.
Even though you never said it, I’ve always known…that you love me.
Xie He suddenly turned around and placed a soft kiss on Lu Ting’s lips.
Lu Ting stared at Xie He’s face that had closed in all of a sudden. His pupils constricted. He seemed to be in shock. This abrupt turn of the situation had left him dumbfounded. He had thought Xie He would deride him with disdain….
His body was stiff. He just stood there, letting Xie He kiss him. Everything was like a dream. He was afraid that if he moved, this beautiful dream would break.
Xie He kissed Lu Ting and then whispered in the other’s ear with a smile in his voice. “Are you no longer scared?”
Lu Ting was really nervous. He slowly raised his hand and gently pressed his palm against Xie He’s face, as if the other was the most precious treasure in the world. He gazed into the other’s eyes.
Afraid? He was afraid….This was the person he was most scared of losing.
But his yearning for this person overcame his fear. He wanted him…he didn’t want to lose him.
Lu Ting pushed Xie He onto the bed and kissed him. It was gentle but full of love. He caressed Xie He’s body and stopped repressing his affection and desire. He made love to his beloved without any qualms, just like any other ordinary man.
Unbridled, he gave his love to this person, regardless of the binds that held them.
…………………………
Lu Ting held Xie He tightly. He couldn’t bear to let go. After going through those hellish centuries, he was finally able to have such a blissful moment. He felt that if he were to die right now, he wouldn’t have any regrets.
He would never let go again or leave. He would stay until the moment he died.
Lu Ting kissed Xie He passionately. He was still a bit nervous. He had been a bit too excited just now because he had restrained himself for so long. Therefore, he had been a bit rough. He didn’t know if Xie He would be angry….
At this moment, he suddenly heard the system notification that hadn’t sounded for a long time.
【Ding, the target Xie He’s Favourability Value +40. The current Favourability Value is 0.】
【Lu Ting：……】
【666：I told you that it’d be fine. You just have to work hard to please him and he’ll give you Favourability points for sure.】This was the conclusion 666 had come up with after watching for twelve worlds!
【Lu Ting：……】
【666：On the up side, even though you’re pretty useless right now, at least you can be a human vibrator? This is your only value as a member of society and the meaning of your existence.】
【Lu Ting：Shut up.】
Xie He snuggled up against him lazily, his eyes half-mast. There was a smile that wasn’t quite a genuine smile in his eyes. “Not bad.”
Lu Ting’s expression was very complicated.
How could he not know that he had been played by now? Xie He hadn’t fallen in love with the female lead at all, had he? How could someone like Xie He fall in love at first sight…? It was because he had believed in the laws of fate too much that he had lost control of himself and ended up tricked.
Xie He beamed at Lu Ting. “What deal did you make with Lord God?”
When Lu Ting heard this, he fell silent. Hesitation flashed through his eyes but in the end, he still replied. “First, we have to talk about the rules that govern Lord God’s behaviour.
“I told you before, in Lord God’s eyes, everything is reduced to energy. The first rule it abides by is to take back as much energy as possible. Therefore, I had hypothesized that I could use this as a loophole.”
Xie He’s lips curled up. “It is able to take back the energy of this world and also create worlds with that same energy. It can take back energy from objects and also create anything in the system store with that same energy.”
Lu Ting nodded. “I also realized that. I knew that I only had this one chance. As long as I could make Lord God believe that it would be able to get a better deal by letting me come, compared to directly erasing your world, the contract could be established.
“A typical E-ranked world takes about two to three hundred thousand experience points to form. Hosts can only obtain less than a tenth of that. The rest of it is taken back by Lord God. Furthermore, if Lord God wants to destroy a world by force, it would have to spend double that amount. Therefore, it’s not a very cost-effective plan.
“As such, I worked hard to accumulate experience points and waited until Lord God had no choice but to act against you. I raised this transaction to Lord God. I told it that I was willing to pay the cost for constructing the worlds. Lord God wouldn’t have to spend a single experience point. It only had to arrange everything and control the overall situation….If you lost, it could take back your world, as well as the experience points I spent. If I lost, you would only obtain less than a tenth of the experience points I spent and Lord God could take back everything else. Not only would it be able to eliminate a threat, it would also profit.”
Lu Ting paused and then continued, “Furthermore, there was a very important key factor. The power you hold is different from the experience points you use. As the protagonist of this world and a person who has defeated a hundred hosts, the energy you have obtained from this world is very potent. However, you can’t use this power. It’s assimilated into the world, so you can’t use it to strike a deal with Lord God….If you want to exchange experience points for items, you have to be bound to a system. It’s only with a system that you can get what you want from Lord God.”
Xie He nodded. “Lord God is so miserly. That fifty percent discount on the escape medicine wasn’t from it, was it?”
Lu Ting was a bit embarrassed but still nodded. “I paid for that.”
Actually, not only did Lu Ting give up all the experience points he had, he had also been worried that an issue would crop up halfway and that Lord God would sense his real intentions….Therefore, he had established the strictest soul contract with Lord God. Lord God could not go against the terms of the contract before the game ended.
Indeed, Lord God had sensed a problem. However, Lord God could not kill them due to the contract’s restriction. That was why it had only sealed Lu Ting’s memories and forced him to follow his mission more strictly.
He had been able to use a loophole against Lord God. Lord God could also work against him without violating the rules.
Lu Ting wrapped his arms around Xie He and looked at him with a fawning expression. “Let’s go back, okay?”
Although Xie He didn’t like Ruan Xiaoxuan, Lu Ting still didn’t want to stay here….He didn’t want to see Xie He and Ruan Xiaoxuan together ever again!
Xie He laughed. “You get jealous so easily yet still try to pretend to be so magnanimous.”
Lu Ting: “….”
Xie He flipped over and pressed down against Lu Ting’s body. He bent down to Lu Ting’s ears and chuckled. “Since you’ve been so honest, I’ll let you in on a little secret.
“Do you know why I’ve never fallen for anyone? That’s because….
“I will never love someone who will leave me.”
Eve: Ahh ahh ahh. I love Lu Ting’s little fit of jealousy. And then Xie He’s softening when he heard Lu Ting tell him he loved him. And that soft kiss. I’m soooooooft.
sere: uwu the fluffy after all the pain is so nice, for once