Huaiyang (Part 2)
The wind gently brushes past the ears, while the summer insects chirp softly.
I was waiting for Pei Qian to speak, but he just looked at me and after a while, he smiled helplessly and said, “I was just wondering how to bring this up, but you've already mentioned it.”
"My heart felt like it was touched by something, and I stared at him.
“Sit and listen, or stand and listen? This is not a short story,” Pei Qian said, patting the stone steps beside him. After a moment, he took off his robe and spread it out on the steps.
I frowned and said, “Don't need to use your clothes as a cushion…”
Pei Qian glanced at me sideways, and the words on the tip of my tongue were suddenly swallowed back down.
When I sat down on the steps cushioned with Pei Qian's robe, I couldn't help feeling frustrated. After all these years, why was I still habitually being silenced by just one of his glances?
"Today, I specifically came to find you," Pei Qian said straightforwardly. "Meng Jing wrote to me last month saying that you would come to Huainan. I didn't know when you would arrive, so I have been waiting for you. At the beginning of the month, I had some business in Yangzhou and only found out a few days ago that you were on your way, so I hurried back.” He breathed a sigh of relief, as his eyes filled with a warm and gentle glow. "Fortunately, It didn’t delay."
He did not deny that he knew Wei Tan, but when he explained everything in detail, my feelings cannot be described as just 'surprised' anymore.
Pei Qian has been practising swordsmanship since he was young, and even though he became famous for his literary skills, he has always had a great interest in martial arts.
I know about this, but I didn't know that when the late Emperor selected young men from official and wealthy families to serve in the Yulin Guard, Pei Qian also applied.
He not only hid it from me, but also from his family. On the day of the martial arts competition, he drew thick eyebrows and wore a fake beard on his face so that people wouldn't recognize him.
In the first few rounds of the competition, Pei Qian did well, but in the final round that he had to pass, he lost.
The one who defeated him was Wei Tan.
The fight was intense, and although Pei Qian lost, he got to know Wei Tan because of it. Although the two didn't meet often, they appreciated each other and often competed with each other in swordsmanship.
Later, chaos befell the world, and Wei Tan followed his father to battle, while Pei Qian's ancestral home was in Yangzhou, and his family fled to their hometown to seek refuge.
When they met again, it was after the Emperor had already settled in Yongzhou. Due to circumstances, Wei Jue had made peace with Wu Zhang, and when Pei Qian was sent to Yongzhou to see Wei Jue, he had the chance to meet Wei TTan again. He said I was in Laiyang and begged Wei Tan to bring me out.
Wei Tan readily agreed. Later, he kept his promise and took me out of Laiyang by marrying me.
“He had always wanted to find an opportunity to send you out, but he was always on military campaigns and I was delayed by other matters, so I had to leave you in Yongdu for the time being. Until the beginning of summer, when Meng Jing came to discuss this matter with me through a letter, we were able to finalise it." Pei Qian looked at my expression and said, "Ah Jin, this matter is very important. Meng Jing had his reasons for not telling you."
I sat on the steps without moving, without saying a word.
Many things came to mind as I thought back.
“....If Furen wishes to stay, Furen can remain as a member of the Wei family. If Furen finds it dull to stay, Furen may also leave. It is entirely up to Furen's own wishes…." The words he said to me that night are still ringing in my ears.
The way Wei Tan was ambiguous with me, and those nights he spent with me…
I was deluded to think that it was because my background was impressive, and I was also troubled every day by the issue of husband and wife. It turns out everything was arranged by them. My "husband" was not someone who abstained from women, nor is he refraining from pursuing an old love. It's just that, in his eyes, I have no connection with the word 'wife' at all.”
I also thought about the soldiers under his command. If I didn't go back, Wei Tan could just have them bring back a completely unrecognisable corpse and say that I died at the hands of bandits. From then on, I will have nothing to do with the Wei family...
"I understand," I said softly after a long silence. Then I turned to Pei Qian and asked, "Now that I’m out, what do you plan to do?"
Pei Qian took a deep breath, looked at me deeply and earnestly, "Ah Jin, let's start again, shall we?"
His words were very gentle, just like the tone he whispered in my ear a long time ago as he was hugging me.
However, they fell on my ears like a pebble dropping onto a frozen lake, without any ripples.
"Start?" I smiled bitterly, "Where do we start? On the day you marry your wife, or the day I was married off to Laiyang?”
Pei Qian’s face suddenly becomes tense, “Ah Jin..”
“It was you who said you wanted to grow old with me, it was you who said that you would wait for me, but where were you when your father came to call off the engagement?” My voice trembled. “Where were you when I went crying to find you? You wouldn't even come to see me and explain to me for once. I wanted to see you so much that I almost went crazy. And for the sake of seeing you, I even disregarded my own dignity and went to the street, watching you got married…” While saying that, my throat felt tight and painful, as my tears had already blurred my vision. “Now my family is ruined and I am at the mercy of others. You said to start over…. Pei Qian, should I be grateful?”
“No!” Pei Qian shouted abruptly. He looked at me, and his reddened eyes were filled with sorrow. “Ah Jin, I have never forgotten you, I..”
“You want to say that you had your reasons?!” I gritted my teeth and blocked his outstretched hand, stood up with a trace of tears, and stared at his pale face, “You and I have already ended.”
“Ah Jin….” The anxious voice of Pei Qian came from behind, and then followed by a violent cough. But I didn't want to see him anymore, so I ran into the room and slammed the door shut with a loud "bang", as if to shut out all the things that made me lose my composure.
My body was trembling faintly, and I leaned against the door, choking on deep breaths and tears streaming down uncontrollably.
“...Gongzi!” At this moment, a panicked voice suddenly came from outside, “Someone come and help! Hurry and go get the physician.”
Physician? I was stunned for a moment, and when a chaotic sound of footsteps approached, I quickly opened the door.
On the steps, Pei Qian was being carried by someone, with his eyes closed and limbs hanging down weakly, as if he had lost consciousness.
*****
The room was filled with the smell of medicine.
After the LanZhong checked Pei Qian's pulse on the bed, he turned his head.
"LanZhong, how is GongZi's condition?" asked Qi Shu as he walked over.
"It's all right for now, the wound has been stitched up and medication has been applied." The LanZhong put away his equipment and placed them in his bag. However, he frowned and looked at Qi Shu, complaining, "I had already warned you that the old injury had not healed yet, and that riding a horse frequently is not advisable. Did you all listen to my advice? If this happens again, I won't dare to treat him anymore!"
Qi Shu repeatedly agreed, thanked him a few more times, then sent the worried LanZhong out the door.
I watched them from the side, my tears had long since dried up and my face was tense.
Qi Shu walked to the bedside, looked at Pei Qian who was still asleep, glanced at me for a moment, and then sighed heavily while shaking his head, "What a misfortune."
I lowered my head.
Qi Shu is an old servant of the Pei Family. He has served three generations of Pei's masters and is deeply trusted. After Pei Qian was born, he was in charge of Pei Qian's daily life and became one of the closest people to him.
Pei Qian and I both grew up under Qi Shu's care. To us, he was a strict and kind elder, and whenever Pei Qian and I had disagreements, we would go to Qi Shu to mediate. In the Pei household, the person I am most familiar with is Pei Qian, but the second most familiar person is not his parents, but Qi Shu.
"He..." my voice trailed off quietly, "How could he be injured?"
"Half a year ago, Gongzi had been shot in his rib by an arrow." Qi Shu poured a cup of tea and placed it in front of me. He said, "The injury was quite severe, but fortunately he was saved in time and managed to survive."
I stared blankly at Pei Qian who was on the bed.
In broad daylight, he traveled from the outskirts to Huaiyang on horseback, covered in dust and dirt. Who would have thought that he was a man who had just recovered from serious injuries? Earlier, when he mentioned that he had been in Yongzhou, he had 'delayed' things due to some reason. Could that reason be his injury?
"NǚJun…" Qi Shu looked at me, his eyes suddenly turned red.
"Don't blame Gongzi." He raised his sleeve to wipe his eyes and said, "I know that Nǚjun was suffering in the heart, but NǚJun, Gongzi was suffering too. NǚJun knew the situation at that time, the Pei Family had more than two hundred people, and ZhuGong was powerless. When ZhuGong decided to call off the engagement, Gongzi refused no matter what. ZhuGong made up his mind and ordered people to tie him up, and personally went to your mansion. Afterward, when Gongzi wanted to find you, ZhuGong also detained him. Gongzi refused to eat or drink and within just a few days, he became so thin and haggard. It was only after Furen threatened to hit her head against a pillar and die in front of him that he finally spoke up."
"NǚJun did not know how depressed Gongzi had been these recent years. He had never laughed heartily. He is still young, but there were furrows between his eyebrows. Even on his wedding day, after paying respects to his bride's family, he went straight to his study and caused his in-laws to almost take offense. When chaos erupted in Chang'an, Gongzi and his family fled to Jiangnan, but Xin Furen passed away…"
"Passed away?" I raised my head as I heard those two words.
Qi Shu nodded, let out an "Ah" (sighed) and said, "Xin Furen was already weak in health. The journey from Chang'an to Yangzhou was long and arduous. She had a sudden illness and passed away."
I looked at him with widened eyes.
Qi Shu spoke softly, "NǚJun, ZhuGong often persuade Gongzi to remarry, but Gongzi refused without a word. He has been alone for these years, waiting for NǚJun to come back."