Reunion
In the back garden, the sunlight is radiant. The roses planted by Mother have climbed all over the trellis, with blossoms that are delicate and fragrant. The petals and tender leaves stretched out under the scorching sun.
I sat under the shade of the flowers, and in my hands, Ah Sha looked at me with two wide eyes. Patiently, I hold a needle, thread it with red string, and sew its mouth shut.
"......What is Ah Jin doing?" That's Mother's voice.
I raised my head, and she looked at me with a smile, gently waving a silk fan in her hand.
"Sewing a fabric doll," I said.
Mother took a look and asked, "Why does this fabric doll look like this? Where's its hair?"
"It hasn't grown out yet, it has just been born," I blinked my eyes. "MuQin, it's Ah Jin's doll. It will have hair in a few days."
Mother smiled and gently touched my head.
The touch was like the wind, intangible, yet I could feel its presence. In the blink of an eye, Mother disappeared, the roses turned into withered branches, and the back garden in front of me transformed into ruins within a vast expanse of snow. Anxiously, I searched everywhere for Mother, but in the desolate world, there was only one figure standing there. I hesitated, wanting to call out to him, but the name got stuck in my throat. I ran towards him, yet the path under my feet seemed endless, and I could never get any closer.
Ah Jin... I didn't know who was calling me, the touch on my forehead still there, pulsing…
When I opened my eyes, it was dazzling.
My body felt heavy, and as I tried to move, someone held me down.
"Don't move," a familiar voice whispered softly.
I was taken aback and squinted my eyes to look at him. Pei Qian sat by the bedside, his handsome face showing a hint of paleness, with a touch of blue beneath his eyelids.
Disordered memories resurfaced in my mind: Pei Qian, Wei Jiao, Ah Yuan, Gongyang Gui, and others, along with my abdomen... My heart raced as I pulled back the blanket and placed my hand on my belly.
"The fetus is fine. Wei Bian Que said you need to rest," Pei Qian held my hand and said calmly, "Don't move."
Like a breath of fresh air in the midst of suffocation, my heart immediately eased.
"Is it true..." I couldn't help but feel overjoyed, looking at him. Those eyes of his gazed at me, calm and deep.
A faint tug appeared at the corner of Pei Qian's lips, as if he attempted to give me a smile in return, but it didn't quite succeed. I watched him, and my own smile subsided as I settled back onto the pillow, content.
The image of his anxious shouting amidst the flames remained vivid—the way he constantly reassured me, holding me as we rushed somewhere. I also remembered tightly tugging at his sleeve, as if grasping onto a lifeline. And now, with everything calm, we were suddenly back to the situation of our last encounter, as if there were many words to be said, but we didn't know where to start.
"Want some water?" Pei Qian was the first to speak, getting up from the bed.
I nodded, "En."
He went to the table to pour water, the light casting a gentle glow on his profile, emphasizing his lean features. When the water was brought over, I attempted to take it myself, but Pei Qian gently pushed my hand away. "I said not to move," he said softly, and then he fetched a spoon, scooped up a spoonful of water, and brought it to my lips.
Feeling slightly embarrassed, I let him feed me, swallowing each mouthful as he offered it.
"How long have I been sleeping?" I asked after finishing the drink.
"From last night until now, it's been almost two to three hours short of a full day," Pei Qian replied.
I looked at him for a moment and then whispered, "You've been here the whole time?"
Pei Qian didn't answer. He placed the water bowl down and sat back beside the bed.
"I slept for two hours. Ah Yuan and Lángzhōng were keeping watch. I just let them rest," he said. "I was overseeing things at Qiling Command yesterday. When I heard you were here, I came immediately." He looked at me. "Is there anything else you want to ask?"
My concerns could never be hidden from him. I fell silent for a moment before asking, "How is he?"
Pei Qian looked at me, a bitter smile tugging at his lips. "He's gone, but he's still alive. Is that enough?"
He is safe.
The tightly wound string in my mind finally loosened. I closed my eyes briefly and whispered, "So be it." After a moment, I added, "Thank you."
It seemed like the wind was blowing outside, and the windows made a gentle sound.
A moment of silence passed between Pei Qian and me. We locked eyes, and his gaze remained as still as a tranquil pond.
There was a subtle sigh in my heart. Wei Tan and the child in my womb, among all the people in the world who would make me feel uncomfortable mentioning them, Pei Qian was probably the one.
He felt it too. I wasn't sure if it was because we were too familiar with each other or both skilled at concealing our emotions. The unspoken calmness between us, as if discussing matters that had no relevance to either of us, was uncanny.
"Aren't you going to ask Wu Kun how he plans to deal with you?" after a while, Pei Qian spoke.
Indeed, that was a question. During the days I was locked in that room, I pondered over this matter extensively. But now, knowing that Wei Tan had escaped alive, I felt oddly composed. As long as Wei Tan was alive, I still held value; Wu Kun wouldn't be foolish enough to kill me immediately.
My hand rested on my abdomen, and a slight smile curved on my lips as I remained silent.
Outside, there were murmurs of conversation. Before long, the door suddenly pushed open.
A woman dressed in a madder-colored silk dress walked in, wearing a veil on her head, looking weary from travel.
Upon seeing us, she halted her steps, and both Pei Qian and I were taken aback as well.
"Nǚjun." Pei Qian's expression recovered quickly. He immediately stood up and bowed to her.
Wu Jiao remained silent, her face slightly flushed, but her gaze was sharp. She looked at Pei Qian for a moment before shifting her gaze towards me.
"Fu Furen is injured, so she can't give greetings." Pei Qian said.
"You..." Wu Jiao seemed somewhat annoyed, started to speak but stopped herself. After a moment, she let out a cold laugh. "Dudu speaks on her behalf? There's a fierce battle ahead, yet Dudu abandons the formation and comes to Wancheng."
Pei Qian's expression remained unchanged. "Mou have never abandoned the formation. Mou came to Wancheng to transport provisions, following Zhugong's orders."
Wu Jiao glared at him for a moment, then redirected her anger towards me.
"And what about her?" Wu Jiao's tone was unfriendly. "She is Wei Tan's family, and Jiangjun is alone with her in a room. Aren't you afraid of gossip?"
Pei Qian remained composed. "Fu Furen is an old acquaintance of mine. Last night, Tian Xiao led his troops here, and injured Fu Furen. It was Mou's duty to lend a helping hand." He then shifted the focus of his words. "Nǚjun, by detaining Fu Furen here without informing ZhuGgng, Nǚjun will need to come up with some explanation when Nǚjun meet him."
Wu Jiao was momentarily speechless.
She glanced at me, her demeanor softened slightly. "I didn't expect Tian Xiao to be so reckless... I didn't intend for this."
"Zhugong has commanded Mou to stay in the city, and Mou is also responsible for guarding the Wei family members. There won't be a repeat of last night's incident."
Wu Jiao's gaze was complex as she looked at him. "I..."
"Wancheng is a crucial military position. Nǚjun, please return," Pei Qian gestured to her with a bow.
Wu Jiao's frustration resurfaced, but she seemed helpless. After a moment, she bit her lip, stamped her foot, and then left with a swish of her sleeves.
The door slammed shut forcefully, hitting the threshold with a loud "clang" before bouncing back.
I watched Wu Jiao's angry figure recede and felt a lot of confusion in my heart.
"She's Zhugong's younger sister, and she's always had a temper," Pei Qian turned around and explained to me.
I didn't respond, just watched him.
"As for what's in my womb," I whispered, "do they know?"
Pei Qian sat back down. "Those in the courtyard are all under my command, and even Wei Bian Que and others are keeping their lips sealed."
This implied that he had kept it a secret for me. With my emotions settling a bit, a glimmer of hope sparked within me. I opened my mouth to speak, "You…"
"I can't let you leave," Pei Qian looked at me. "Zhugong knows you're here, and Liang Wen is aware too."
I heard the sound of shattered dreams.
Pei Qian smiled faintly, his gaze softened a bit.
"You can rest here, and I'll have someone bring you food later," he said. "I have some matters to attend to in the main hall."
I nodded and looked at him. After a moment, I said, "Thank you."
Pei Qian seemed taken aback for a moment, a hint of helplessness in his smile.
"In the past, you haven't said thank you for years," he murmured softly. "Yet, within today, you've already thanked me twice."
I also paused, looking into those eyes, and said in a lighthearted tone, "Things are very different now."
"Is that so? Where does it differ?"
I chuckled.
Pei Qian's gaze grew deep. "Aren't you going to ask me about what's going on between Wu Nǚjun and me?"
I was taken aback, but his expression was quite serious.
I had actually wanted to ask this question when Wu Jiao came in earlier, but after all, it was Pei Qian's private matter. Why should I inquire about it? However, since he brought it up…
"How is your relationship with Wu Nǚjun?" I asked.
"I don't want to talk about it," Pei Qian smiled and walked away.
*****
My body wasn't fully healed. According to Wei Jiao's regimen, my diet was restricted to porridge and bone broth with thoroughly stewed meat. The food tasted medicinal, but strangely, I found it better than any delicacy, and I meticulously consumed every bite.
Ah Yuan's eye sockets still had some lingering signs of bruising, but he spoke with excitement, recounting every detail from last night until today.
After Pei Qian arrived, he chased away that Tian Xiao man and replaced the people in the estate with his own. Among us, apart from Wei Jiao and Uncle Huang, the rest are all old acquaintances of Pei Qian. So, while the courtyard remained the same, we were no longer confined to the rooms like prisoners.
"While Furen was not waking up, Gongyang Gongzi and Jiyuan Gongzi were talking in the adjacent room for quite a while," Ah Yuan said.
I nodded. Gongyang Gui had actually come out this time to find Pei Qian, and now it seemed like the timing was opportune for that.
"What about Si Shu?" I asked.
"Si Gongzi is also well. He came to check on Furen several times," Ah Yuan replied.
My body wasn't bleeding or hurting anymore, but Wei Jiao didn't allow me to get up and move around. He provided me with medicinal meals daily to aid in my recovery.
When I asked him about the baby, Wei Jiao patted his chest proudly, his thick eyebrows curving with pride. "Furen, rest assured, Mou has inherited Bian Que's mantle. Not to mention miscarriage, even if Mou had to go to the underworld to steal someone, One wouldn't hesitate!" He grinned after speaking, "If Furen had met Mou a few months earlier, Mou could have given you a guide to marital secrets. Mou guarantees a successful male conception with just one try…"
*****
Days passed one by one, and Wu Jiao didn't return, nor did anyone else intrude.
I wasn't sure how capable Pei Qian was, or what Wu Kun and Liang Ren thought of me, a prisoner in this isolated place. Overthinking things might not necessarily be a good idea in such a secluded setting.
Besides Ah Yuan and Wei Jiao, Wei An often came to visit me. He still hadn't got his tools returned, but with Pei Qian around, he had obtained a few books, mostly related to construction techniques. As for Gongyang Gui, he was an outsider to me after all. He visited my room only two or three times, but in the courtyard, I could hear the sound of him practicing swordplay with a wooden stick every morning.
Pei Qian was very busy. He would come to see me daily, but he couldn't stay for long before he was called away by someone. I asked him about the progress of the battles, and he didn't hide anything, telling me about the whereabouts of Liang's and Wu's armies, and which cities were being contested. Ultimately, he would inform me that there was still no news about Wei Tan.
Though the news wasn't particularly reassuring, it was still better than receiving bad news. Thinking this way, my heart felt a bit more at ease, convincing myself that things hadn't reached their worst point yet.
When the days reached the fifth finger on my hand, Wei Jiao said I could take a walk in the courtyard.
The sun had just risen, and it had rained during the night, making the courtyard cool. Ah Yuan placed a small bed in the corridor for me, and after walking for a while, I sat down to rest. Wei An was sitting on the stone steps, reading his book, while Gongyang Gui was focused on practicing his swordplay.
Just then, the courtyard gate opened, and a few soldiers walked in. Behind them, I spotted Pei Qian, but my gaze froze when I saw the person next to him.
He was an elegant young man with a bamboo hat on his head, sitting in a cart. I had seen him before at Yunshi Xiansheng's residence—Cui Ting.