Giving Birth
"Furen!" Ah Yuan rushed in, wanting to support me, but hesitated, only able to ask anxiously, "How do you feel?"
I leaned against the concealed pillow, collected my thoughts, and shook my head.
In truth, the pain in my abdomen wasn't too intense. But just yesterday, Zhou Shi and Mao Shi came to chat, recounting various details of their own childbirth experiences, which made me quite nervous.
But it's quite strange, after a moment of pain, my abdomen suddenly calmed down.
I hesitated for a moment, just as I was about to get up, the pain started again.
"What?!" Wei Tan had just gone to attend a meeting in the main hall, perhaps upon hearing the news, he hurriedly rushed back.
Seeing his figure appear at the door, my heart settled a bit.
"Open the door, make way!" I was about to speak, but Wei Tan wore a serious expression, calmly directing the servants, "Summon a few more people, lift the bed, and move Furen to the birthing chamber!"
"Where is the midwife? Hurry, go fetch her!"
"Ah Yuan! Fetch the bedding... no, get new ones! They are in that chest!"
After he finished shouting, Wei Tan bent down again, gripping my shoulders. His eyes were bright, his voice gentle, "Don't worry, just bear with it a little longer."
Me: "....."
The pain in my abdomen wasn't initially severe, but with Wei Tan's demeanor as if facing a great enemy, I felt like the child couldn't wait to come out.
By the time the midwife was finally brought in by the maidservants, I was already lying in the side chamber, which had been prepared as the birthing chamber.
The midwife came over to check on me, asking me a few questions, taking my pulse, and feeling my belly. She smiled and said, "No rush." Then, she instructed the maidservants assisting with the delivery to prepare the necessary items.
Finally, she said to Wei Tan, "Da Gongzi, this is the birthing chamber, men are not allowed inside."
Wei Tan paused, looking at me.
I looked back at him, suddenly realizing that if he left now and everything went smoothly, he would only see the child once it was born. But if things didn't go well…
Tears welled up in my eyes suddenly. I swallowed hard, pressing my lips together.
"Ah Jin..." Wei Tan hurried over, his expression mixed, and he gently wiped my eyes for me.
Perhaps it was because the pain in my abdomen intensified, I felt even more uncomfortable, clutching his hand tightly, unwilling to let go.
Seeing this, the midwife sighed and said, "Shao Furen, at most it will be one or two days. Don't worry, the position of the fetus is correct, there should be no problem."
I looked at her, then at Wei Tan, taking a deep breath.
"Fujun, please go out." I wiped my tears, released Wei Tan's hand, and said softly in a low voice.
Wei Tan's expression was uncertain. After a moment, he spoke in a low voice, "I'll be right outside."
I nodded.
Wei Tan exchanged a few words with the midwife and Ah Yuan, then he looked at me, gently ran his hand through my hair, and turned to leave.
I once discussed the name of the child with Wei Tan. He insisted on being the one to choose, so he would search through books every day after returning home. After Wei Jue heard about this, he was not pleased. He said Wei Zhi's name was chosen by him, and naturally, he should be the one to choose the name for the legitimate grandchild.
As a result, Wei Tan and I found ourselves in a situation where we could only choose a nickname for the child.
Since it was just a nickname, I didn't hesitate to take charge and decided to call the child "Ah Guai".
At first, Wei Tan was hesitant, saying he was the father and should have the right to choose the name.
I gently placed my hand on my belly, "But the one who's giving birth is Qie."
Wei Tan still didn't agree, "But you can have a child without Weifu?"
I countered, "During childbirth, the one who contributed the most is Qie."
Wei Tan smiled, "But the one who contributed to create a life is Weifu."
This argument went on for a while and ultimately led to no resolution. In the end, I took a step back and let Wei Tan come up with a few nicknames. As I expected, Wei Tan, being a straightforward man, came up with nicknames without referring to classics works, and with dead earnest wanted names like Ah Tuan, Ah Fu, Ah Yu, and Ah Xue.
So, I stopped compromising and insisted on calling the child "Ah Guai."
And now, I no longer dwell on matters like nicknames.
The pain came in waves, making the initial discomfort seem like child's play compared to the intensity of approaching labor. The midwife had two strong maidservants support me, with thick blankets cushioning my back. My energy was entirely focused on the struggling entity that was determined to come out. I gritted my teeth, listening to the constant refrain of others urging, "Push harder, push harder."
I bit down on the cloth, gasping for air. I couldn't tell if it was a hallucination, but every time there was a brief pause, it seemed like I could faintly hear a low, deep voice from outside.
"Ah Jin..." It seemed like someone was calling me. It could be Wei Tan, or perhaps Mother.
When a cry reached my ears, I felt utterly exhausted, drained of all strength.
Beside me, I heard the joyful voices of the women. I was gently helped down onto the bed.
Before I could catch my breath from the relief, the midwife exclaimed, "Congratulations, Shao Furen, it is Xiao Nujun!"
Nujun?
I weakly turned my head and saw a wrinkled little face before me, crying with a clear and bright voice, waving tiny hands.
Is this my child? The one who kept me company in my womb for over nine months?
I felt a strange yet surreal sensation, and with effort, I raised my hand. When I touched that little hand, my heart was suddenly enveloped in a wave of tenderness.
A daughter is good too.
I smiled, my voice hoarse and weak, "Ah Guai, I am Muqin…"
In the past, Mother had once told me about her feelings when she gave birth to me.
"When giving birth to your Zhangxiong, it was very painful. But when giving birth to Ah Jin..." She smiled, gently caressing my face, "Muqin called out 'Ah Jin', and you came into the world."
Of course, that was just a little tale for children. As I grew older, although I never witnessed someone giving birth, I heard various accounts. Zhou Shi and Mao Shi have been my most recent sources of gossip. When it comes to childbirth, they all unanimously agree - it's painful. For the firstborn, they add a word - even more painful.
Even though I had heard it before and felt a sense of sympathy, it wasn't until I experienced it myself that I truly understood how hard it is to be a mother.
*****
When I awoke from my deep slumber, the first face I saw was Wei Tan's.
He sat by the bedside, looking at me with a smile, but his bloodshot eyes revealed that he hadn't rested properly.
"Awake?" he asked softly, his voice a bit hoarse.
"En." My throat felt a bit tight as I turned my gaze to the side.
Between Wei Tan and me, a small swaddling of clothes was placed on the bed, and the tiny face of the baby slept peacefully.
"She always sleeps," Wei Tan smiled.
I smiled too, locking eyes with him. His face was filled with a deep smile, and his eyes were brimming with uncontainable joy. A wave of sweetness washed over my heart, warm and tender.
Neither of us said a word. Wei Tan held my hand, his rough fingertips gently caressing mine.
I held onto his hand in return, unable to resist looking at Ah Guai again. From the eyebrows, to the nose, and then to the eyes, I observed with great curiosity, taking in every detail.
Ah Yuan brought a bowl of porridge with a bright smile, saying, "Furen, Xiao Nujun is quite well-behaved, not causing a fuss. Da Gongzi didn't sleep at all last night, and after finally managing to get some rest this morning, he came over to see you. Nothing could stop him."
Wei Tan, unusually magnanimous, took the teasing from the maid in good spirits. He smiled and accepted the porridge from Ah Yuan. "Take Xiao Nujun away. I'll feed Furen."
Ah Yuan nodded and carefully lifted Ah Guai into her arms.
I watched as she gently placed Ah Guai on the small bed nearby. Seeing Ah Guai remain peacefully asleep, I finally looked away.
"Is it still hurting?" he asked in a low voice.
I nodded, "En."
Wei Tan looked at me with tenderness. After a moment, he leaned down to blow on the spoonful of porridge and brought it to my lips.
I looked at him, opening my mouth. The porridge wasn't too hot, and it was cooked very fragantly. I swallowed it down, feeling a wave of comfort wash over me.
"Has Ah Guai eaten?" I asked.
"En," Wei Tan took a cloth and gently wiped the porridge from the corner of my mouth. He said, "Muqin has already arranged a wet nurse."
"Have Jiushu and Gushi come to see?" I asked.
"They have," Wei Tan continued to feed me a spoonful of porridge. He said, "They stayed until the child was born last night. Fuqin even held the child for quite a while before leaving."
I smiled, "Oh? Has the name been decided ?"
Wei Tan replied, "Fuqin hasn't decided yet."
I looked at him and nodded slightly.
Ah Guai's birth was a delicate matter for the Wei family. I understood this, and Wei Tan did too.
We've been married for almost two years now, and before, there was pressure on both of us for an heir. Now, after finally having a child, it's not a son. Even if Wei Tan doesn't mind, I can well imagine Wei Jue's disappointment.
"If only..." I paused for a moment, then softly added, "If it were a son, that would be wonderful."
Wei Tan looked at me, his lips pressed together, and then he fed another spoonful of porridge into my mouth. "Don't dwell on it too much," he said.
I haven't been able to move around much since giving birth prematurely. Wei Tan has been busy with springtime tasks, only able to visit me in the morning and evening. Fortunately, Zhou Shi and Mao Shi come by often. After giving birth, I struggled with issues like milk supply and recovery, and they were a great help, teaching me a lot.
"Ah Guai is really good-looking," Mao Shi said as she held the baby, observing closely. "In the future, she will surely resemble Zhangsao."
I smiled and said, "She's still so young. Didn't Di Fu say that she needs to grow a bit more before we can see?"
"Now she bears some resemblance," Zhou Shi leaned in and said, "Her forehead looks like Zhangsao's, and so does her chin."
Mao Shi added, "Her eyes and nose actually resemble Da Tangxiong. Ah Guai's features, it's like fifty-fifty of Da Tangxiong and Zhangsao."
Everyone laughed.
"Not at all like Ah Zhi, who looks exactly like Er Tangxiong," Zhou Shi laughed.
"Speaking of Ah Zhi, I just remembered something. Have Ah Guai been named?" Mao Shi asked me.
I shook my head, "Not yet. Jiushi said he wants to choose personally."
Mao Shi nodded and sighed, "Chengxiang's headaches have been acting up again lately. It might take some time before he's able to decide."
I smiled and said, "There's no rush in choosing a name." I was aware of this. Wei Tan had told me two days ago. He wanted to consult Wei Jiao, but Wei Jiao had ventured into the deep mountains in search of herbs and hadn't returned yet.
The two of them chatted with me for a while and then left separately.
As evening approached, I was gazing at the sky, wondering when Wei Tan would return. Suddenly, Ah Yuan rushed in, saying, "Furen, something big has happened!"
"What happened?" I asked.
Ah Yuan leaned in and whispered to me, "I just passed by the front yard and overheard the steward speaking in a hurry with someone. It seems Chengxiang has had a stroke!"