Bad News (Part 1)
After turning around a cluster of flowering trees, those sounds (the emperor, empress and little prince) were blocked. After a few steps, a figure appeared in front, it was Wei Jieyu.
She gazed towards the stream for a moment, then shifted her gaze towards me, giving a faint smile.
"His Majesty the Emperor holds great affection for the little prince," she said softly, as if pondering. "One wonders if, should Zizi bear a prince, would His Majesty feels the same."
Her words and actions were somewhat peculiar, causing me to be on guard involuntarily.
I smiled faintly, "One cannot help but love their own flesh and blood, especially when both Jieyu and Guiren are daughters of esteemed officials."
"Esteemed officials," Wei Jieyu seemed to be chewing these words, her lips curling slightly. "Furen believes in fate?"
I was taken aback.
However, Wei Jieyu didn't continue. She said, "Guo Furen must have been waiting for a long time." With that, she walked towards the direction we came from.
Having spent nearly the entire day within the palace walls, I returned home feeling thoroughly exhausted. The wet nurse was holding Ah Mi in the courtyard, watching butterflies. As I entered the courtyard, her eyes immediately shifted from the flowers and plants to me, and she called out, "Ah ah!"
For some reason, upon seeing her, I felt a surge of energy. All those jumbled thoughts seemed to dissipate like smoke.
"Shao Furen is finally back. Xiao Nǚjun has been awake and searching for Shao Furen nonstop," the wet nurse said with a beaming smile.
I smiled and picked up Ah Mi, pressing a kiss to her little cheek.
Upon returning to the chamber, as I sat on the low couch, I caught sight of Wei Tan's letter still lying on the desk. With Ah Mi in one arm, I reached out to pick up the letter. I read it over several times, unable to contain my laughter.
"Wu..." Ah Mi looked up at me, seemingly puzzled by why I was laughing so joyfully.
"Ah Mi," I lifted her up and kissed her cheek, "Missing Fuqin? Want to see him?"
Ah Mi looked at me, blinked her eyes, and broke into a smile.
I bent down to gently nuzzle her forehead, then instructed Ah Yuan to fetch some paper and ink for me to write a reply to Wei Tan.
Following Wei Tan's example, I sketched a little figure. Of course, coming from a prestigious family with an extensive collection of books, I had the confidence that my little figure looked even more exquisite than Wei Tan's.
I depicted a large and a small figure, at times playing a small cymbal (铙) on the couch, at times frolicking in a basin of water, and at times watching butterflies in the courtyard... In the bottom corner of the letter, I paused for a moment, then drew a scene where a large and a small figure lay on a couch, like a fanciful image from a famous painting, with a cloud dividing them, and a figure clad in armor standing in the distance.
After finishing the drawing, I looked it over and felt reasonably satisfied with the result.
"Does it look good?" I gently blew the ink dry, then lifted the letter to show Ah Mi.
Ah Mi stared at the paper for a moment, then reached out. I quickly withdrew it.
"Wu..." Ah Mi grumbled, seeming a bit dissatisfied.
I lifted her up, my heart feeling tender.
"Ah Mi, do you miss Fuqin?" I asked softly. "It would be better if he came back earlier, but he always has to leave."
Ah Mi gave a little smile, a droplet of clear saliva glistening on her lips.
I smiled gently, kissed Ah Mi on her cheek, and didn't say anything more.
*****
After sending off the letter, life resumed its usual course. Wei Jue's illness showed no signs of improvement, and Wei Zhao, holding the position of Right General of the Army中郎将(zhonglangjiang), frequently attended court.
Every morning, after feeding Ah Mi, I would take her to greet Wei Jue and Guo Furen. Sometimes, Zhou Shi and Mao Shu would also come. The women would sit together for a leisurely morning, and after lunch, it would be my own time with Ah Mi.
However, life was not without its ups and downs. On that day, when I returned from the Imperial Palace, Liang Hui seemed a bit displeased. That night, she had a disagreement with Wei Zhao. In a fit of anger, Wei Zhao spent the night in Xu Ji's chamber.
On the second day, Liang Hui tearfully bid farewell to Guo Furen, saying she wanted to move back to the palace. Guo Furen immediately summoned Wei Zhao, reprimanded him, and instructed him to apologize to Liang Hui. Afterwards, in front of everyone, she had Xu Ji publicly flogged twenty times.
"I heard that Guo Furen originally intended to drive Xu Ji away, but she relented after Er Gongzi's earnest pleas, opting for a flogging of twenty instead," Ah Yuan whispered to me secretly.
Upon hearing this, I only cautioned her not to get involved in servants' discussions or gossip.
While the Wei family held immense power, Liang Hui, being an Imperial Princess, had her own pride. In truth, in our daily interactions, I could see that Guo Furen didn't particularly favor Liang Hui. However, for Wei Zhao, forming a royal connection was advantageous for securing the support of court officials. It was only natural for Guo Furen to show such care for Liang Hui.
I consistently maintained a detached and observant stance towards these matters. If I had to intervene, I would offer some bland words of reconciliation. Afterward, once the courtyard gate closed, Ah Mi and I would play together, and everything would return to tranquility.
*****
I took out Wei Tan's letter and read it over again several times. Counting the days, it was already several days later than usual, but there was still no sign of a new letter.
"Da Gongzi must be very busy," Ah Yuan folded the freshly made little clothes. She said, "Furen, don't worry, perhaps it will arrive tomorrow."
I held Ah Mi, pondering for a moment, about to speak, when a servant hurriedly approached.
"Shao Furen," his face looked somewhat flustered, he bowed to me, "Guo Furen requested Shao Furen's immediate presence in the main hall, saying there is an urgent matter."
I was surprised, "What is it?"
The servant's expression was uncertain. After a moment, he said, "Shao Furen will know once you're there."
I felt a sense of unease. I glanced at Ah Yuan, then handed Ah Mi to her and stood up, following the servant out.
Before I even reached the main hall, I heard a chorus of mournful cries, as if many people were sobbing. When I entered, I saw Guo Furen sitting on the couch, weeping and leaning into Liang Hui's arms, her face a picture of helplessness. Beside them, Zhou Shi and Mao Shi were locked in a tight embrace, crying uncontrollably.
"Zhangsao..." Zhou Shi saw me, tears streaming down her face, unable to speak through her sobs. "They…"
I looked at them, then glanced towards the front of the hall. A figure was kneeling there, covered in dust, and their robe bore dried bloodstains. Upon closer inspection, I recognized him—it was Wei Tan's rear guard, Lü Zheng.
A foreboding feeling gripped my heart.
"What has happened?" I asked, my voice trembling involuntarily.
"Shao Furen..." Lü Zheng looked up at me, tears welling in his eyes, his expression a mix of sorrow and guilt. "Da Sima... Liang zei attacked the water fortress at night. Da Sima and Si Gongzi were ambushed on the water, and the entire army was annihilated!"
"Ah Jin!" Guo Furen grabbed my hand, crying and pounding her chest, "Meng Jing... Meng Jing, Ah An! And our Wei family's nephews... How cruel the heavens are!"
It felt as if thunder had struck from the sky. I stared blankly at her, and before long, the world seemed to spin around me. I couldn't hear anything, and I couldn't see anything.
".... Get a carriage, you and I, take Ah Mi. Head to the seaside, board a boat and sail away. Find an immortal mountain, and have a bunch of children... " The voice seemed distant yet close, for a moment, then it faded away, vanishing like the wind…
The darkness stretched out like an endless night, devoid of stars and the moon. It was bitterly cold.
I couldn't see what lay ahead, nor could I discern the path I had taken, yet I continued to move forward incessantly.
".... Ah Jin..." It sounded like someone was calling my name. I looked around, but there was nothing to be seen.
"Ah Jin..." The voice was very familiar, low and rough, like a kind of rugged touch, sending a tremor through my heart.
I was suddenly startled, the light was dazzling. The birds chirped, a gentle breeze brushed past, and I found myself standing in the backyard. There was a small pavilion, the flower beds, and ahead of me, were Father and Mother.
"Muqin, Fuqin..." I rushed forward, looking at them, feeling an inexplicable urge to cry. I buried my head in Mother's embrace.
"...don't cry..." Mother patted my back.
"All of you...?" I choked out, "All of you have been gone for so long... I couldn't find you anywhere…"
"But haven't you found us now?" Mother smiled.
"Take me with you," I pleaded, "I promise I won't be naughty or cause trouble. I'll learn all the virtues of a woman, recite the teachings…"
"Ah Jin, what do you have in your hand?" Father's voice came through.
I was taken aback. I looked down at my hand and saw a piece of paper covered in little figures - one adult in a dress, a child, and another one in armor…
"Ah Jin..." that voice echoed again, and tears flowed like a fountain. In the depths of my consciousness, I heard someone crying, delicate and heart-wrenching.
Father's hand was broad and comforting as he gently stroked my head. "You should take a different path…"
I tried to grasp his hand, but it slipped through my fingers. Father and Mother's figures slowly receded, fading away in my tear-blurred vision.
It felt as if a strong pair of arms were embracing me. I turned around, and Wei Tan smiled at me. "Why are you crying like Ah Mi…"
It felt like my heart instantly eased, and I held his hand. "I've been waiting for you for so long…"
Wei Tan still smiled, but after a moment, a reddish tint began to appear in his eyes. Suddenly, his face shattered before me.
I was both startled and terrified, letting out a sharp scream…
The light was still blinding. When I opened my eyes, I couldn't help but turn my head to the side.
"Furen..." Ah Yuan's sobbing voice reached my ears. I squinted my eyes and looked, finding her red-eyed face in front of me.
It took a while for the dryness in my eyes to subside. Ah Yuan handed me a bowl of water, and I drank it all in one go. Only then did my throat feel some relief.
Ah Yuan looked at me, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't stop wiping her eyes. "Furen fainted in the main hall and was brought back by the servants… Furen..." She held onto my hand, her palm cold, and her voice choked with tears. "Furen, there's still... still Xiao Nǚjun… You mustn't…"
I remained silent. The scene in the main hall rushed back to my mind, sorrow weighing heavily on my heart once more. Tears welled up in my eyes, obscuring my vision.
Ah Jin... The voice in the dream felt so real.
It felt like a blunt tool had fiercely gouged out a piece of my heart. I wanted to cry out in pain, but all I could do was clutch the bed sheets tightly in my fingers.
"Ah Mi... Where is Ah Mi?" I wiped away the tears on my face and asked Ah Yuan.
"Xiao Nǚjun just ate. The nursemaid was afraid she might disturb Furen, so she took her to the side room to sleep," Ah Yuan explained.
I stared at the canopy above, my chest rising and falling with ragged breaths, accompanied by choked sobs that echoed clearly in the room.
"Where is Lü Zheng, the one who came to deliver the message to the residence?" I asked softly.
"Lü Zheng?" Ah Yuan looked surprised.
I sat up from the bed, still feeling a heaviness in my chest, accompanied by a slight dizziness. I dug my nails into my palm, determined not to let my mind be clouded by distractions. "Go tell the steward that I want to see Lü Zheng."
Ah Yuan wiped away her tears, nodded, and then left.
The door was closed, leaving me alone in the room. I sat still on the bed, staring absentmindedly at the faint light seeping through the door's crack.
Was it an illusion, or had I always been this cold-hearted?
Every time Wei Tan goes off to battle, I can't help but worry and feel afraid for him to some extent.
But perhaps he is too strong, and even in the face of perilous situations like the Battle of Qiling, he always emerges unscathed.
With each occurrence, I began to assume he would always return safely. It got to the point that when I finally received the dreadful news, I found myself pondering it over and over…
The steward didn't keep me waiting for long. Before too much time had passed, Lü Zheng was brought to me.
"Greetings, Shao Furen," he bowed to me.
I sat on the bed and nodded slightly. "Lü Jiangjun, please rise."
Lü Zheng stood up. I looked at him and noticed he was still wearing the blood-stained clothes. His face had clearly been washed, but the two blood streaks left by the blades were still stark on his face.
He seemed to be burdened with deep guilt, not daring to lift his eyes to meet mine.
I instructed the attendants to prepare a seat, then said, "Just now in the main hall, Qie was in such distress, and didn't hear Jiangjun's detailed account of Fujun's situation. So, One would trouble Jiangjun to recount it once more."
Wei Tan arrived in Xin'an, and though it was labeled as an inspection, he mobilized a large number of soldiers. They constructed water fortresses and built various sizes of boats, all with great precision. Simultaneously, on the opposite bank, Liang Wen was also active. The soldiers from the southern regions were skilled in naval warfare and frequently raided the water fortifications. Wei Tan countered while intensifying the construction efforts, maintaining a period of relative peace.
But just about ten days ago, around the time I suspect Wei Tan received my letter, Liang Wen suddenly launched a night raid on the water fortress. At that moment, Wei Tan, Wei An, along with Wei Gang, Wei Ci, and other nephews were conducting night drills on the river. Liang Wen's naval forces attacked from both sides, using fire ships doused in oil to ram into them. The towered ships they were on were massive and had difficulty evading. In an instant, they were engulfed in flames.
Lü Zheng wept as he spoke, "We were inside the water fortress, and we saw the fire break out. We were just about to go and try to rescue, but then Liang's army attacked, just like at Qiling. The soldiers lost their morale and everything fell into chaos. They scattered and fled…"
Ah Yuan listened, unable to stop her sobs.
I looked at Lü Zheng, a shiver running down my spine.
"The bodies…" My voice trembled, "Are there any bodies?"
Lü Zheng knelt down, his head bowed. "Mou Jiang is deeply ashamed! At that moment, One was tasked with leading the rear guard in the retreat and didn't have the opportunity to search along the river."
"...Wait for me to return," he had smiled and told me that day as he left this courtyard.
I bit my lip, tears blurring everything before me.