Journey (Part 1)
My injured foot is really troublesome. I can't move while sitting in the carriage, and my legs have gone numb. Unfortunately, the carriage is extremely bumpy, and the seat cushion is too thin. My buttocks are about to split.
By noon, the procession stopped, and someone came over to say that Wei Tan had ordered them to rest and have a meal.
I feel uncomfortable all over from being tossed around, coupled with a low mood, I really have no appetite. Ah Yuan suggested that she accompany me to have a meal, but I reluctantly shook my head. Ah Yuan said that she can't carry me, so I'll have to get off the carriage by myself.
Unexpectedly, after a while, Wei Tan came over.
"Feeling unwell?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"Then why don't you go have a meal?"
“I had a heavy breakfast," I replied perfunctorily.
Wei Tan glanced at me, then turned and walked away. However, shortly after, he returned, holding two wheat breads and a water bag in his hands.
"I'm not hungry," I said.
"Eat," he handed me the pancakes, his face showing an irresistible expression, "The road is still long today."
I felt a bit annoyed, but knowing that he meant well, I reluctantly took the pancakes without saying a word.
The wheat breads were freshly made this morning and were quite soft. I tore off a piece and put it in my mouth, chewing it. It had no taste at all. After a few bites, my throat felt dry, and swallowing became somewhat difficult.
Wei Tan handed me the water bag.
I took the water flask and gulped down two sips, making a "gulp gulp" sound.
"Your foot is injured, does it hurt to sit in the carriage?" Wei Tan asked.
"It's bearable," I replied.
Wei Tan's expression remained calm.
"Wang Hui!" he called out to a nearby servant, "Bring three mats and my mattress!"
The servant responded with a sound of acknowledgment, and before long, he came running over, carrying a pile of things.
Wei Tan personally folded up the mat, put a mattress on top, and put it on the carriage.
"Endure a little longer," he handed me a water flask and said, "Once we reach Sixian County in the evening, you'll be able to rest properly."
I looked at him and after a while, I said, "Thank you."
Wei Tan glanced at me but remained silent, then turned and walked away.
*****
Those cushions and mattress pads are very soft when covered with felt. They are comfortable to sit or lie on, indeed much more comfortable than before.
The troops were moving at a relatively fast pace. As night approached, a short and low city wall appeared at the far end of the desolate fields. The soldiers lit torches and followed the carriages and horses into the city.
Sìxian County is not large, and the houses have ordinary styles. While on the road, I overheard the driver saying that originally there were no city walls here. The current city walls were slowly built after the turmoil to prevent bandits from plundering.
Last year, Wei Jue had launched a campaign against Dong Kuang and successfully incorporated Sixian into his control. The county magistrate is a dark and thin middle-aged man. He shows great respect and reverence towards Wei Tan, immediately arranging accommodation and meals to entertain the travellers.
When I was getting off the carriage, I initially intended to have Ah Yuan assist me. However, Wei Tan walked over and picked me up without saying a word.
The county magistrate and the attendants were all watching from the surroundings, and I felt embarrassed. I tried to decline and said, "I can do it myself…"
"Oh?" Wei Tan glanced at me. "So, you want me to put you down and help you hop along?"
I was at a loss for words, and Wei Tan proceeded to carry me into the courtyard.
The meal was brought into the hall, with the fragrant aroma of millet and fish rising. It made me, who had been eating plain food along the way, secretly drool in anticipation.
"Sixian County is impoverished and lacks the means to entertain Gongzi and Furen." The county magistrate's face was filled with apology.
"We are well-fed and satisfied. Thank you for Xian Zhang's effort." Wei Tan's face remained calm.
The county magistrate nodded repeatedly.
While enjoying the meal, Wei Tan asked about the people's livelihood and the military preparations in Sixian County. The county magistrate responded to each question one by one.
I thought Wei Tan would have a further discussion with him after the meal. However, to my surprise, he asked if I had eaten enough. I replied that I had. He then informed the county magistrate that he would need to continue his journey the next day and should rest early. After saying that, he picked me up and headed towards the backyard
I started to feel even more awkward. The county magistrate's face, which was a mix of surprise and ambiguity, kept lingering in my mind. When he led me into the room and I saw the sole bed inside, I could not hold it back anymore.
"I...I will sleep with Ah Yuan." I said.
Wei Tan placed me on the bed, his expression inscrutable.
"Is the water ready?" He turned his head and asked towards the outside of the room.
"It's ready, Gongzi," someone replied. Before long, another person entered the room carrying a bucket of water.
"Extend your right foot," Wei Tan's voice was neither cold nor warm. "Let me take a look at the ti pan."
Me: "..."
*****
After four days, my foot is almost healed. The force of Wei Tan's massage is stronger, and I don't feel much pain.
I have to say, Wei Tan may not be a competent husband, but he is a good bonesetter. I actually quite enjoy being taken care of by someone like this, so no matter how many concerns I have about this person, I won't hide my sickness for fear of treatment.
"Tomorrow, I will be able to walk on my own," I said.
With a 'whoosh,' Wei Tan lifted my foot from the warm water and pulled open the water bucket.
"Let's worry about tomorrow's matters tomorrow," he said, placing my foot into another bucket of cold water. "Considering your condition, you may not be able to walk on the ground tomorrow."
I wanted to say that my foot really doesn't hurt much anymore, but Wei Tan's expression left no room for doubt.
That's fine. I thought to myself, when you're under someone else's roof, you have to accept whatever they say.
"Do you plan to immediately return to Yongzhou once we arrive in Luoyang?" I changed the subject and asked after a while.
"Perhaps I will need to stay for a while," Wei Tan replied. "FuQin is still engaged in battles with Tan Xi in Hebei."
This statement actually brought up another matter that I had been wanting to ask for days. "How is the campaign against Tan Xi going?" I inquired.
"En?" Wei Tan's eyes carried a playful expression. "Furen is quite concerned about military affairs?"
That goes without saying. Luoyang is closer to the battlefield than Yongzhou, and knowing which side has the advantage will help me decide whether to stay or leave.
"The matter concerning the country and family, of course one should care about it," I said sincerely, with a slight smile forming on my lips.
Wei Tan glanced at me, then lifted my foot out of the water and fetched a towel. "Tan's army has reached Shangcai and has been in a standoff with my father for a month," he informed me.
As he spoke, his tone was calm, as if he were talking about Wei Jue going to Shangcai to have a drink and play chess with Tan Xi. I was both surprised and puzzled. No matter how I thought about it, this matter should be far from relaxing. Yet, Wei Tan, as Wei Jue's eldest son and a high-ranking general leading troops, could actually go to Huainan?
While lost in my thoughts, Wei Tan had already dried my foot and put on a pair of socks.
As I watched the attendant carry the water out, Wei An suddenly entered from outside, followed by Ah Yuan.
"XiongZhang, ZhangSao," Wei An walked up to us and greeted us.
"Si Shu," I greeted him back while sitting on the bed.
"Why are you here?" Wei Tan looked surprised.
"Si GongZi heard that Furen had a tiring journey today, so he came to inquire about Furen's well-being," Ah Yuan said with a beaming smile.
"Oh?" Wei Tan looked at Wei An.
Wei An appeared somewhat embarrassed and looked at me. "ZhangSao, is your injury better now?" he asked.
I smiled and replied, "It's getting better." Despite his occasional peculiar behavior, this little Si Shu of mine was straightforward and innocent. Among the members of the Wei family, he was the one I liked the most.
Wei An nodded and said, "Once we arrive in Luoyang, I'll make a pushcart for ZhangSao so ZhangSao won't have to be carried up and down by XiongZhang anymore."
Upon hearing that, I couldn't help but smile.
"What pushcart?" Wei Tan gave him a sidelong glance.
Wei An explained earnestly, "A pushcart is just a pushcart. We'll add two wheels to the side of the bed and a backrest at the back. ZhangSao can sit on it, and Ah Yuan can push her around."
I understood the situation.
Ah Yuan, however, chuckled and said, "Si GongZi's idea is good, but Furen's foot injury is almost healed. Once we arrive in Luoyang, she'll be able to do more than just walk—running and jumping won't be a problem at all."
Wei An seemed taken aback. "Oh..." He appeared quite disappointed.
"Rest up, we still have a long journey ahead tomorrow," Wei Tan said to me.
I nodded in agreement.
"Then, does ZhangSao need a crutch?" Wei An continued pondering and added, "I can make a three-legged one tomorrow, so you can use it without needing assistance…"
"We'll be setting off early tomorrow morning." Before Wei An finished speaking, he was pulled out of the door by Wei Tan's arm
******
During the night, Ah Yuan and I slept together.
Outside, there were occasional low voices of soldiers on guard, engaged in conversation.
Despite being jostled throughout the day on the carriage, I couldn't fall asleep at this moment. I lay on the bed, tossing and turning from time to time.
"Furen can't sleep?" Ah Yuan asked from beside me. "Is it because your foot is hurting?"
"It's not that," I replied. After a moment, I asked, "Are you unable to sleep as well?"
"En," Ah Yyuan responded. After a while, her voice became low. "Furen, there's something that's been on my mind. If I may speak, please don't be upset."
I turned to her and asked, "What is it?"
"Furen," Ah Yuan hesitated for a moment in the darkness before continuing, "Actually, Da Gongzi takes very good care of you."
"En," I responded.
"Then, what is the current relationship between Furen and Da GongZi? After returning to Yongzhou, Furen is officially the legitimate wife of Da Gongzi, right?" Ah Yuan asked.
I don't know how to define our current relationship either.
Wei Tan once mentioned that if I chose to stay, I would still be considered a member of the Wei family. I have no doubt that he keeps his word when he says something like that.
If I had not come to Huaiyang in the first place and instead left Yongzhou for somewhere else, only to return to the Wei residence later due to financial or other reasons, I could have put on a thick layer of makeup and pretended as if nothing had happened. Perhaps then I could still continue to be Wei Tan's wife. However, now that I know the reason why Wei Tan married me and he has witnessed the entanglement between me and Pei Qian, it's unlikely that anyone can pretend that everything is fine.
Ah Yuan is right. Along the way, Wei Tan has treated me well, and it would be best for me to continue staying at the Wei residence for the sake of the future. However, Wei Tan is a person who is difficult to read. He was even willing to go as far as having a fake marriage with me to help Pei Qian. Who knows what he truly thinks in his heart?
Perhaps, when we arrive in Luoyang, Wei Tan will finally talk to me about the matter of our marriage.